Thanks @Butterfly39, I know everything you say is true but still can't help feeling disappointed. I know everything will be different when I get that BFP and it won't matter anymore, but I'm in a bit of a funk right now. All 5 eggs have fertilised so that's some good news but it hasn't perked me up much at all. Ridiculous I know. Transfer is 11.30 tomorrow assuming all goes well. I'm really hoping for 4 frosties and 1 for transfer If this transfer is not a BFP I'm still considering doing one last EPU while I'm still only just over 42. @Faithandhopelove and @Chiefsgirl good luck for your scans this week.
Massive congrats to @Angels4me !
They are great scan results @Kelly70, good luck for your EPU hopefully this weekend. @Bongley bring on those jabs !! Its always exciting to start a new cycle I reckon, its always a positive after a negative I reckon.
Hi to everyone else I've missed and positive vibes to all.
Results 821 to 830 of 1014
04-11-2014 10:36 #821
04-11-2014 10:56 #822
@leyshoja its really not ridiculous, you are going through such an emotional storm. I remember when my friend offered her eggs to me (that I didn't need in the end). I was grateful but I also felt really odd/weird that my kid would be her and my partners 'love child' as I put it at the time. I also felt a bit annoyed that my highly fertile friend could just step in and save the day and I was definitely worried that I would feel left out somehow. I was ashamed for feeling that way. I would have needed a few counseling sessions for sure I think. 3 people to help create one baby is not a run of the mill occurrence...!
So glad all 5 fertilised good luck for tomorrow
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04-11-2014 11:15 #823Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2014
@leyshoja There's a lovely blog http://www.dontcountyoureggs.typepad.com/ that I've been following for a while that you may find helpful. It's written by a woman who ttc for 4 yrs, and is now pregnant with a donor embryo. She also had a failed IVF cycle using her sister's eggs. She writes wisely and compassionately about her experience of transitioning to donor eggs/ embies. All my best wishes to you.
04-11-2014 11:19 #824
Thanks @Bongley. I agree, and that's exactly how it feels. There was a 90 day cooling off period but apparently I 'didn't need it' because the donor wasn't available for 4 months anyway (from July when we were matched up).
Back in June I thought that I may as well get on the list because it'll be a good 12 months wait, which was going to be heaps of time to get used to the idea and even do another couple of EPU's while waiting. Basically I signed up then 9 days later had a donor. I really didn't get any time to question myself or look at any other options in those 9 days, and once you have a donor, you sure as hell are not going to let them slip away - so it was all systems go before I knew it.
I guess thats my problem - its all just happened so fast. I actually feel really guilty for questioning my feelings about this when I know I should just be counting my lucky stars. Theres a bucketload of women out there who would kill for this opportunity.
04-11-2014 11:21 #825
04-11-2014 11:44 #826
I actually think you'd be mad not to question it! You've got to be comfortable with it. Is it a possibility to do a freeze all cycle until you have sorted out your feelings?
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04-11-2014 11:50 #827
Sorry, I meant to say, I still have feelings like did I do the right thing using donor eggs etc. But at the end of the day I realised for me it was likely the only way I was going to get my take home baby and I was done with IVF and miscarriages. I still had one OE embryo frozen but couldn't face the low odds of it sticking and high odds of miscarriage again. You really need to be happy with your decision if using donor eggs. Did youget any counselling?
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04-11-2014 14:09 #828
Hi @emski72, no I didn't think I needed it. I think I could let go more easily if I was 100% sure that I was never going to be successful with my own eggs, but there are always those people you hear of that get pregnant with their own eggs after 42.
I could freeze all and do another EPU or two just to put my mind at ease but to be honest I just can't afford to keep forking out this kind of money. They are still DP's embies - I just need to reframe. I'll be carrying his baby after all - and ultimately that's what I was aiming for.
04-11-2014 14:28 #829
leyshoja, those are completely understandable emotions. DE is a godsend but it has to feel like it's right. To put it in perspective, my FS told me that 50% of women can't get pregnant using their own eggs at 42. You do hear of people beating the odds, and I feel the way you do about them - I just don't want to keep forking out money for something that has less and less chance of working. Hope your embies are still growing and dividing
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04-11-2014 14:33 #830
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