Schoolyard shenanigans. Why can kids be so mean? And how the hell do I help dd6 deal with it?
This kid in her class, let's call her D, is making her life miserable. As far as I can gather (and this doesn't come just from dd6, I've spoken to parents and teacher as well) D is a controlling kid who likes to rule the roost and be queen of the playground. To achieve this she screams and yells at the other kids, forces them to play her games by her rules, and cracks it if they leave. She's not like this all the time, she goes through phases, but it's not good. She spent a large part of term 2 trying to separate dd6 & her pal T (physically dragging T away and telling dd6 she couldn't play with them, refusing to let dd6 line up with T etc). I had to go to the teacher about that.
Anyway the latest incident, it's D's birthday. All the kids got invited, including dd6, it's a disco party so everyone's excited. On Tuesday she told dd6 that she had held a meeting in the playground on Monday, and that anyone who wasn't at the meeting can't come to her party. And of course dd6 wasn't there. She's so upset, thinking she can't go to the party. I've told her that the invitation came from D's mum, and unless d's mum UNinvites, then she can go if she wants to.
How can I help her deal with this kid? It's just one thing after another, every week there's a story like this. Dd6 won't tell her to get lost, because she doesn't want to hurt her feelings.
Is it just a case of putting out spot fires until dd6 and the other kids realise they don't have to put up with her?
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13-06-2014 13:28 #1
How do you deal with a kid like this?
Last edited by Gothel; 13-06-2014 at 13:31.
13-06-2014 13:32 #2
Wow that girl sounds like a handful. If it is causing concerns with your daughter and others, maybe have a quiet word with the principal or the girl's teacher and explain her controlling behaviour. The only other advice is advising your dd to find another group of friends and ignore the behaviour from the other girl.
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13-06-2014 13:35 #3
I would call the number on the invitation and just ask.
Your poor DD, it is a horrible feeling to not feel included.
13-06-2014 13:37 #4
I agree with BPac, then maybe the mum can have a word to her about her behaviour.
13-06-2014 14:02 #5
I would talk to the teacher about the overall behavior in the playground.
Telling kids they cant play with her (or each other, they must play with her) etc .. its not ok.
13-06-2014 14:03 #6
13-06-2014 14:13 #7
I think its both.
But enough of these are happening at school that they need to be made aware of the problem.
That doesnt help the immediate birthday party issue - so that needs to be dealt with as well - but the problem is bigger than just that
13-06-2014 14:25 #8
I would speak to the teacher/school and even perhaps if your DD is up to it- inviting D around for a play date, just to see the dynamics for myself. I would also work on building your DD assertiveness (to tell her to rack off).
13-06-2014 14:40 #9
I dunno about calling the mum, I've never met her and it would be an incredibly awkward conversation. D dies before- and after-school care, and I gather had been full time in day care from a young age, which might explain her domineering traits (fighting her own corner)
Last edited by Gothel; 13-06-2014 at 14:45.
13-06-2014 14:43 #10
Couldnt you just say something along the lines of "DD came home today and said that plans had changed for the Bday and you just wanted to double check?"
I dunno, i would hate to leave DD at a party where she might feel uncomfortable. I think that if i call the mum and asked it would put her mind at ease. Thats just me tho, i am probably wrong!
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