Once they've finished studying and have a full time job they can move out. I'm not a fan of adult children mooching off their parents. I moved out at 20 when I met exH.
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05-06-2014 21:51 #61
05-06-2014 21:57 #62
When they're ready I guess...though I did raise my eyebrows at DH's mate still living at home at 28.
I moved out at 18. DH moved out (with me) for the first time at 22.
My brother moved out at 18 then was back at 19, out again 6 months later then back at 20 and left for good at 21.
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05-06-2014 21:59 #63Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2006
I'm happy for them to stay until they are educated/trained up and have a job.
05-06-2014 22:02 #64Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2009
Once they have completed their studies & have been working full time for 1 year...I was 22 when I moved out.
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River Song (06-06-2014)
05-06-2014 23:19 #65
I have no idea, so I am guessing I don't really have any set age, but I feel it's my job as a parent to teach my kids to be independent enough that one day DH and I will be redundant (for want of a better word) and they will want to stand on their own feet.
As for me, I moved out of home at 18, bought a one way ticket to Europe and lived over there. Depending on which way you look at it, my poor parents or my lucky parents!
05-06-2014 23:47 #66
I think it would depend heavily on the child. My brother was an absolute pain to live with and thought the world owed him everything. When he got out on his own and realised how much money and work it took to run a house he became very understanding of mum and apologetic for what he put her through. I, on the other hand had a roommate type arrangement with mum. I paid rent, did my share of housework and had my name on the lease of the house. It wasn't as good as having my own house but it was doable when I needed it to be and after having heart surgery mum needed the help.
06-06-2014 07:43 #67
No, I don't have a specific age. I think I would actually prefer DS stay home for as long as possible. I do have some ideas on money, buying cars and houses and what not though. I would like DS to put 40% of his earnings into a house deposit savings, 5% into super and the rest to spend. Esp while he's living at home. I'll think I'll probably say that on the priviso he sticks to this plan- I'll buy him his first run around cheapie car. And I want him to be buying a propety (just a cheap apartment) before he makes any other large purchases.
06-06-2014 07:49 #68
Ha I just remembered what my mum used to say. "We will never ask you to leave but if you're still here at 25 I'll think it's a bit sad"
06-06-2014 08:05 #69
I moved out when I was 21... I was the youngest and moved in with dp who's now dh. My brother left and went back numerous times, I think the oldest was when he was 26 and broke up with his girlfriend. My sister was 23 and moved away. My parents have always had an open door policy though, as long as we're being respectful and pulling our weight.
I cooked led most family meals from about 14 years old. I loved cooking. We also all did the housework on a Saturday morning, did our own washing etc. I will have a similar deal with my boys, as long as they are being respectful to us (with going our coming back in quietly etc) and pulling their weight they can leave when they're ready.
Dh dh moved out when he was 28 and we moved in together. He'd been through a few share houses but hated it and always ended up back home. He was an only child and I think his parents would still want him home... He was very happy to be out.
06-06-2014 08:11 #70-
- Join Date
- Oct 2013
Wow, I am loving all the different viewpoints I think most people just want what is best for their kids.
Just to clarify on my earlier post, someone phrased it as 'kicking them out', but I think there is a BIG difference between 'kicking them out' and encouraging them to move out and find their own independence.
The former implies selfishness on the parents' part, whereas IMO the latter is just part of preparing children for the real world.
Fwiw, when it came time for my siblings and I to move out, it was not as if my parents were at home cracking the champagne and throwing a party. They both cried, they both missed us dearly, but they both told all of us that they were proud to have raised us to be independent and know how to make it on our own. So we weren't really 'kicked out', and we COULD have stayed if we really wanted to, but we were encouraged and prepped from a young age that 18 was a suitable age for independence
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