We don't have an age. As long as they are doing something productive such as uni or working they are welcome to stay.
I would never ask them to contribute rent or money for bills. Food maybe.
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05-06-2014 20:00 #41
05-06-2014 20:01 #42
No set age for us.
I moved out when I was 19. Wish I had stayed home longer in some ways!
Lived out of home until I was 29 when I moved back in with Dad while my house was being built. I paid him cash each week. Not rent as such but it was cash to make a contribution to the household costs and also recognition that I was in his space!
My DP moved out of home (farm) to do an apprenticeship. Then back to the farm. Then off the farm to get married. Then back to the farm after divorce and then off the farm to live with me when he was 34.
I would like to think that we will always be flexible - but not taken advantage of. I hope that our kids always feel that home is where we live. And that the door is open if needed.
But like others have said... if any of our hypothetical kids have work, I would expect them to contribute. If they're at uni, then hells yeah they had better finish that degree!
05-06-2014 20:01 #43
I've told my kids they can stay forever if they want and I mean it. I will never kick them out, ever.
But then I anticipate that, like most people, once they become a young adult they will move out on their own accord as they'll want that freedom and independence, especially once they've finished studying and have a full time job.
Anyway, who knows what the future holds? Maybe cost of living will soar to the point that extended family all living together will become the norm like it is in some other countries? I will always be a safety net for my kids and they will always be welcome in my home.
05-06-2014 20:07 #44
No I don't think there should be a set age. I started working full time when I was nearly 15 and paid board to my parents. I moved out with friends for 6 months then moved back home. I met dh at 17 and we saved a deposit for our home while I lived with my parents and he lived with his. We then moved in together when I was 23. I enjoyed living at home and my parents were happy having me there.
I think we will be the same with our boys. We won't expect or tell them they have to move out at any particular age.
05-06-2014 20:12 #45
I haven't read all yet, but I'm going to a 40th on the weekend.
He's having it at his girlfriend's house, as he still lives at home with mum.
They have been seeing each other for 10 years. The fact he can't even bring himself to move in with her is a WHOLE other can of worms.
Yes. I think there can be a cut off age. I sure as hell don't want my kids still living at home at 40.
I appreciate this is an extreme circumstance however.
05-06-2014 20:16 #46
05-06-2014 20:19 #47
I won't force my kids to move out but if they are living at home I will expect them to contribute and help out.
I moved out at 21 and while living at home I did washing and paid board to my Dad.
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05-06-2014 20:20 #48
I think "adult children" should move out of home and stand on their two own feet, studying and working p/t living with friends and when theyre working f/t. I don't understand how many people move out of home in their late 20's and early 30's, while spending all their income on holidays for 10 years, then at 30 realise that they need to get their act together and buy a house.
I'm in my late 20's and have lived out of home since I was 21, with friends and partners. Sure I've rented the whole time but I've learned how to budget, how to be independent & that you've gotta start with what you can afford.
I think a lot of parents have expectations of their adult children to buy a huge 4 bedroom first home, have brand new cars, but dont realise that they havent set their children up for independence and what I'm starting to see is people buying a house, living beyond their means (I'm talking about DINKS), then having to sell their home and move back in with mum & dad.
What happened to a couple buying a small 3 bedroom, with 2nd hand furniture, and 2nd hand cars. When did it become all about everything being new and big? It's setting the current young adult generation up with high expectations.
Take my sister for eg, she goes to uni, works p/t, but doesnt contribute to my parents household bills/board/food even her own petrol (she didnt buy her car either). She just spends all her income on clothes and overseas trips every 4 months. I'm all good for people travelling, but youve gotta grow up and pay your way at home! If you afford to go overseas multiple times a year, you can afford to help out at home!
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05-06-2014 20:22 #49
I don't think asking for a contribution does any harm. It teaches them how to budget.
My friend's son just moved out of home and got a $300 electricity bill and asked his mum what their bill usually was and he couldn't believe that it was around $1200.
I won't kick my kids out of home, but I sure as heck will expect them to be working or studying.
I started working at maccas at 14. Had only just turned 18 when I moved out of home to go to uni. I moved back to Sydney for uni. But if I stayed at home, I'm sure my parents would've asked for some money to contribute.
They did buy me my first car.
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05-06-2014 20:23 #50
I moved out at 18, then when my mum was diagnosed with cancer when I was 20 I moved home to help. She passed just before my 21st and I stayed home until I moved in with DF at 25.
I think out situation was a little unique though. I stayed home to help my dad. He was working full time and had my 14 year old brother and 8 year old sister.
My dad and I did a little trade I guess without it ever being said. He never asked me to pay for anything and I helped with my brother and sister.
It was nice being home that year after my mum passed and having family around while we all tried to adjust.
Sorry I think I just went off on a whole other thing.
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