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05-06-2014 22:26 #41
05-06-2014 22:46 #42
She's an adult. Of course if give her privacy. It's demeaning not to IMO. My mother tried to control me at that age and it damaged our relationship. I think it's nice she's found love and good that she is in a safe place where her parents can keep an eye out for her.
05-06-2014 22:47 #43
Hopefully the 7 and 8 year old think they're watching a movie!
05-06-2014 22:50 #44
05-06-2014 22:54 #45
I was 17 when my boyfriend started staying the night and the only rule I had was he had to leave by 10pm on school nights (I finished school at 17 and a half) and I stayed at his house often (he was 21).
11 years and still going strong here
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05-06-2014 22:56 #46
yep - 18 definitely an adult.
Even if they arent actually having s*x, that is her decision to make, and by 18 I expect her to be able to make that on her own ..
Even at 16 I would be fine with it.
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05-06-2014 22:59 #47
Wow I'm more my parents that I realised or ever wanted to be!! I feel a little ill after that realisation actually! I was never allowed to have boyfriends stay over in my room when I lived at home. I moved out with my BF when I was 19.
I think absolutely adult and young adult children need privacy but this situation to me has two parts. The first is privacy - the ability to have a visitor and have the door closed and then the second is etiquette - is it polite to visit your girlfriend in the family home and spend the whole time behind closed doors? Instead of "watching a movie" in the family room / lounge room interacting with the household.
I just asked my DP what he thinks and we sit on the same page - sure they're an adult but it's still our house and i'm not sure how i'll feel about it until faced with it. Oh well, I have 18 years to think about it!
05-06-2014 23:13 #48
Having grown up in a home where I was constantly told how "open" and "trusting" my parents were to my choices, then being consistently questioned to the point of actually rebelling and moving out a few months before turning 17 - yes, I would allow a bit of privacy. My parents have both since apologized for their highly hypocritical and "push and pull" parenting, admitting that they retrospectively completely understand why I moved out so early. They just made it way too difficult for me to meet their constantly shifting parenting ideals.
As long as there are clear boundaries, the kids have good morals and there is a mutual respect to be had, I don't see that there should be a problem.
05-06-2014 23:35 #49
05-06-2014 23:44 #50
wow I'm surprised at how many thinks it's ok to dtd at your parents house when 18yo lol
We were not allowed to have bf/gf stay the night. But I guess we all moved out at 18yo so we could do whatever we wanted during the week.
I might change my tune but at this stage I won't allow DS to stay behind closed doors all day with his gf, not under our roof. It'd be weird to know him sexually active while we are in the living room eeeek
Last edited by ExcuseMyFrench; 06-06-2014 at 00:03.
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