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  1. #31
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    From the child's perspective, having been in that situation twice and seeing my siblings go through it too, its ****ty and it sucks. Its a horrible feeling.

    My biological father has only ever contacted me on my birthdays when he isnt in jail. Twice. Christmas, yeh forget it.
    My stepfather was abusive and would also play the guilt trip with me. Id get a happy birthday but never anything more. When he and my mum split you could see despite raising me for 11 years he started to favour his own children. We went our seperate ways when i was 15 after a horrific holiday that ended in me with a broken wrist and heavily bruised arm. Havent recieved anything since (mostly cause he feels he is the victim).
    He now terrorises my brother and sister, emotionally. Constant guilt trips. Forgot my brother's 21st this year and then teared strips off my bro for choosing to spend mothers day with mum rather then seeing him for his bday.

    Anyway point is from a childs perspective all we want is that father/child relationship and will hold on to anything for it. Even while being hurt.
    It takes alot to see it happen, i hate seeing what my siblings go through, i can imagine it would be harder being your child.

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jmeleem View Post
    From the child's perspective, having been in that situation twice and seeing my siblings go through it too, its ****ty and it sucks. Its a horrible feeling.

    My biological father has only ever contacted me on my birthdays when he isnt in jail. Twice. Christmas, yeh forget it.
    My stepfather was abusive and would also play the guilt trip with me. Id get a happy birthday but never anything more. When he and my mum split you could see despite raising me for 11 years he started to favour his own children. We went our seperate ways when i was 15 after a horrific holiday that ended in me with a broken wrist and heavily bruised arm. Havent recieved anything since (mostly cause he feels he is the victim).
    He now terrorises my brother and sister, emotionally. Constant guilt trips. Forgot my brother's 21st this year and then teared strips off my bro for choosing to spend mothers day with mum rather then seeing him for his bday.

    Anyway point is from a childs perspective all we want is that father/child relationship and will hold on to anything for it. Even while being hurt.
    It takes alot to see it happen, i hate seeing what my siblings go through, i can imagine it would be harder being your child.
    My God, sorry you went through all of that, just sounds awful and so upsetting

  3. #33
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    thanks for all the replies, so sad that there are so many black hearted dads out there.. It is good to hear that some are good with their kids when it comes to special days though!

    My son has asked not to go there for a while, not because of presents, just feels disappointed with his dad, but unfortunately court orders say he has to go..

  4. #34
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    DS's Dad and extended family come here on DS's birthday with their truckload of presents. They also came to his 3'rd birthday party last year. I know in a lot of cases there's too much animosity between parents but I wish more would make the effort to put their adult issues aside for the sake of the kids. It makes all the difference. Sorry OP that your DS got no card from his dad. I would ask his dad why he didn't and see what he has to say for himself.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Ellewood For This Useful Post:

    oozzle  (07-06-2014)

  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by oozzle View Post
    thanks for all the replies, so sad that there are so many black hearted dads out there.. It is good to hear that some are good with their kids when it comes to special days though!

    My son has asked not to go there for a while, not because of presents, just feels disappointed with his dad, but unfortunately court orders say he has to go..
    Not saying you are wrong cause you know your court orders not me. But im pretty sure once the child is over 12 years he can elect to no longer go. However, you cannot make the decision for him.
    At least that is what it was 4 years ago when my siblings went through the same. Maybe its worth making a call to a solicitor and find out where your son stands?

  7. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ellewood View Post
    DS's Dad and extended family come here on DS's birthday with their truckload of presents. They also came to his 3'rd birthday party last year. I know in a lot of cases there's too much animosity between parents but I wish more would make the effort to put their adult issues aside for the sake of the kids. It makes all the difference. Sorry OP that your DS got no card from his dad. I would ask his dad why he didn't and see what he has to say for himself.
    Things were ok until I got CSA to collect on my behalf, it's like he's punishing DS.. Before that we got along pretty well and I'm still happy to be nice, he's just having a big old sook it seems..

  8. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jmeleem View Post
    Not saying you are wrong cause you know your court orders not me. But im pretty sure once the child is over 12 years he can elect to no longer go. However, you cannot make the decision for him.
    At least that is what it was 4 years ago when my siblings went through the same. Maybe its worth making a call to a solicitor and find out where your son stands?
    I will have to have a look into it, I have heard similar but have been told by friends and family it's not the case.. I will call a solicitor, thanks

  9. #38
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    No, DS doesn't get a present from his Dad. He doesn't get a Happy Birthday or Merry Christmas. XDP hasn't ever met DS so it's no surprise. I don't even think he knows his birthday! But DS does get a huge amount of love from his Dad's family- he is extreamly lucky and we treasure that relationship.

  10. #39
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    I haven't read all the replies only the OP but that is really horrible and petty of his dad. My dsd lives interstate and we don't get to see her that often (half of every school holidays) but we always buy her birthday, christmas, easter presents etc and just put them aside until we see her. Yes she gets extra spoilt, presents from both sides of the family and even extra presents from my family as well but thats one of the small positive things that has come out of being from a broken home. I think thats super sad..

  11. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by oozzle View Post
    geez that's rough! What a crappy attitude he has.
    Yeah he does, he's always too busy to ever see her too, but thankfully my new partner is an amazing father to her and our son together


 

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