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  1. #1
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    Default Personal life

    Ok so not sure if this is right place for this but really would welcome any advice....
    Since having our lo a year ago, my partner and mines sex life has practically dried up. Sometimes it feels like he only wants me for sex and is always groping me which puts me off but then when i am in the mood he is more intersted in pc games.
    When lo is awake wre fine but as soon as he is in bed we hardly talk or anything and iv tried talking to him :'(
    Dont want to be without him its not like we dont love each other we just seem to have forgotten how to communicate with each other :/
    Any help/advice is appreciated in advance xzz

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #2
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    sounds normal hun. lots of couples lose their way after a new baby is born. everyone is tired and busy as well. I'd start by having actual ''date nites'' just you and hubby.

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    I am going through the same thing and we have a 1yr old too. I broke down and talked to him one night. Our problem is that his way to feel connected to me is through sex so he keeps putting the pressure on but since our connection isn't brilliant right now I have no interest which makes him feel rejected. Him pressuring me just makes it worse. I feel rejected because he doesn't get that I need conversation and quality time with him to feel connected and the sex is a by product of a good connection. For instance. He plays footy but currently has a sore ankle and cant play. I asked him to spend some time with me and DD and he went and watched his club play for the day. For me - big time rejection, for him - whats the problem footy always happens on sunday. I'm not at the point where I want to hand a bf DD over to someone at her cluster feed time so that we can have date night on a regular basis but we do have date night in where we hire movies and ban computers, phones, ipods etc for the night. We aren't always brilliant yet but its getting there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Minchi View Post
    sounds normal hun. lots of couples lose their way after a new baby is born. everyone is tired and busy as well. I'd start by having actual ''date nites'' just you and hubby.
    I agree, it's always a tough time getting used to a new baby. We could never afford date night, but instead would make an effort to sit down to a nice home made meal (ie maybe something different from thd norm) and eat together after bubs we're asleep with no distraction (TV, ph , of, etc) best of luck op :-)

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    How is bub sleeping at night? Is being tired a key problem?

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    I'd have an honest conversation and tell him you miss him and miss being intimate with him but you feel your timing is out of whack with his a little bit. Say you need a bit of romance, suggest date nights, whatever you feel you need. I found I needed to let go of ideals though, sometimes you need to take a quick opportunity when little one is napping or something, or even if you're a bit tired or whatever. I find it's always worth it for the intimacy and closeness


 

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