Is she not getting financial assistance to care for the kids?
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29-05-2014 22:44 #11
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29-05-2014 23:33 #12
That's a difficult situation op. Personally I wouldn't loan her the money. I may sound harsh but a person in her situation will be back for more and more and it's not something I would want to get into with a friend. Can she go to centrelink for an emergency payment? As another said, is she on payments for the kids? There are heaps of welfare places that will help out with groceries/some bills etc so I would direct her to them. Why is she paying her sons rent? If he lost his job surely he would be on a centrelink payment too. I think it sounds a bit fishy to me personally. But I may be a bit too suspicious!!
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29-05-2014 23:41 #13
I'd be suss...if you'd like to help I'd be more inclined to buy her $50 worth of food, point her in the direction of services available to help and let her know that you can't afford future requests.
29-05-2014 23:54 #14Senior Member
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- Nov 2013
It's a tough one, I'm sorry you are put in this situation. It really depends on the person, I feel that you are probably the best person to make that choice.
For example we know someone who never has any money (they constantly borrowed money off my hubby before I came along), yet they both smoke cigarettes, drink rum and smoke pot. Would I lend them $50? Hell no!
We also know a single mum of 4 kids who really struggles when her bills come in. Would I lend her $50? Hell yes!
It's not a nice situation to be put in and I really don't envy you. It will be hard to say no, but if it's an ongoing thing then it might be time to say no. It can be hard to determine whether they genuinely need it or whether they are just taking advantage of your generosity.
30-05-2014 00:41 #15
30-05-2014 05:16 #16
The fact that her 2 sons welch off her to the point that she has to beg for food makes me really sick.
Can I ask are try the daughters kids and that's why she was helping her mum or are they one of the sons kids?
Personally couldn't sleep at night knowing the children needed food but that's just me. I would go down to Aldi and stock up for her. Plenty of long life milk, fruits and veg and mince. I know it might seem degrading not letting her choose but she sounds like a bit of a push over and I would be worried she would give it to her son and try to borrow off someone else...if Aldi do vouchers that's even better. Coles/Myers you don't get the same amount of food....
As pp had said since she has involved you in her finances maybe have a word about supporting the sons..especially the one she's paying rent for. I also agree I highly doubt docs will remove a child from family even if they are doing it tough. Try to get her to see centrelink to explain she has the care of these 2 kids and needs extra help.
30-05-2014 06:09 #17
30-05-2014 06:25 #18
P.S sorry to derail the thread OP. it sounds like a difficult situation. I still believe if you can, help, without asking questions. If it becomes a repeated thing then by all means see what else is going on
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30-05-2014 06:40 #19
They're not going to take the kids.
She needs to go to Centrelink and let them know she has two extra dependants that she needs assistance for, ASAP.
IF she is willing to do that TODAY, then and only then would I loan her the money or as pp's have suggested go and drop round some basic groceries, with the disclaimer that you simply can't afford to do it again at all. Tell her you have your own debts and responsibilities and giving money to her is making it harder for you to make ends meet.
Eta - totally agree she should be telling both of her sons to get on to the dole if they don't want to/can't find work. She can't be paying for two adult sons in her financial position! By including you in her finances, she has given you the right the comment.
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30-05-2014 06:43 #20
If she is putting her sons rent $160 over food and care for the g rand children she is doing the wrong thing, he chose to move out, she has responsibility to the GC first. Basically she expects to ask for $50 from you and get it. Say no more, buy bread / milk / fruit & veg if it helps you feel better. But just like anyone else she cannot continue to live beyond her means and guilt others into helping her.
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