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  1. #351
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    hi Brimm, thinking of you x

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  3. #352
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    Thinking of you brimm, hope you are okay and are being looked after.

    [The hubber formerly known as misscheviuz]

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    KaraB  (10-06-2014)

  5. #353
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    Hoping you are ok too Brimm xxx

  6. #354
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    What a long two days it has been. I didn't end up being seen at emergency till 7pm and I didn't get home till 12pm at night. All that ended up being done was a few blood tests and urine tests...it was a waste of time. The Doctor confirmed my HCG levels had dropped significantly which was indicating a miscarriage. She was however concerned about the pains I was having and wanted me to have an ultrasound to confirm things were progressing correctly, problem was they didn't have the facilities for maternity paitients. So another day off work today to head into another hospital to have further tests. It was confirmed that I am having a miscarriage and there doesn't seem to be any issues.

    Last night was very draining. My husband agreed to come but complained the whole time about how he wasn't feeling 'good' and I am ruining his night. He ended up going home for 2 hours to have dinner and a rest before returning. I was less than thrilled so had a go at him over the matter. Then he had a go at me as they didn't end up performing the tests we required and I had to take today off work too to get further tests. My sister went onto his side and said "you should have just gone to your GP rather than wasting time at Emergency, it was so unnecessary." I am so emotionally drained and over it all. I got needled 5 times to get 1 blood test and for all those hours I ended up having to go elsewhere.

    Onto more positive news, we sold one of our investment properties last night. We sold it for a lot less than we wanted so all I have heard from my husband is swearing about how much he hates my father because he ended up getting $50,000 less than my dad. It's not fair and I understand that but as I told him its time to MOVE ON. This enables us to move out in 2 months time and to actually have money in the bank. He doesn't see it like that and every time I say he needs to get over it and stop being angry he says I am siding with my father. I married someone who was so positive and I am stuck with someone who is only looking at the world in a negative manner when technically I should be the one doing that.

  7. #355
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    big hugs @brimm

    I cant imagine what you are going through and I don't understand why your husband is acting in such an uncaring way let alone your sister

  8. #356
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    I'm really sorry to hear about the miscarriage brimm. You've been through the wringer. I actually feel physically ill reading your comments when you describe your husbands behaviour. He is such a spoilt little ****ing turd. I hope one day you're able to muster the strength to finally leave this sorry, useless piece of ****.

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  10. #357
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    I'm so sorry that you lost the baby. This has been such a big year for you with so many events that would test the resillience of even the toughest person.

    You talked a while back about believing that things happen for a reason. While I don't 100% believe in this, however I read a quote once, I don't know the exact wording, about each opportunity usually comes gift-wrapped in a problem.

    You have an opportunity to learn and grow here. The death of your mother and now the experience of becoming a mother - if just for a short time - has started to change your perspective and question what you really value in life.

    It sounds like you are growing and your husband is not. He is still stuck, focused on the goals that you once held common, but that no longer seem as important to you.

    Add to that the fact that he has been so selfish throughout all of this and quite frankly treated you quite awfully, you need to question where your relationship is headed. Will he be willing to put in the effort to work together to reassess your common goals, to develop himself into becoming more supportive of you and what you need to be happy? Or is this relationship reaching its end?

    I know the latter is a big, scary option. I've been there. The feelings of failure, being torn as you made a promise that you never intended to break, the worry that it's "'better the devil you know than the one you don't", so many what ifs! For me (not saying this would be the case for you), ending my first marriage before we had children was the best thing I could have done.

    There is no need to rush any decisions, it will take time to process everything, especially as you are still working through the loss of your mother. Just know that through all of this you have been strong - possibly stronger than you realised you could be.

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  12. #358
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    Brimm, your husband is being extremely selfish. I agree with the others who have said you need to get away for a while. Please take some time out so you can recover from what has happened and to reassess what you want from life. I doubt that your want to spend the rest of your life being controlled and belittled.
    Be strong enough to put yourself first for a change, you deserve so much better than this!

    [The hubber formerly known as misscheviuz]

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  14. #359
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    I forgot to add. As a teacher who also works part time, don't worry about work and needing days off. I had a bad year where I had 3 bouts of gastro, a miscarriage and a pregnancy with morning sickness. I had more than my share of days off but I always had a certificate. I did not get paid for some days, but then I did a few relief days throughout the year. This not only topped the finances back up but also put me back into work's good book and they never caused me any grief about how many days off I needed.

  15. #360
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    I'm sorry to hear you have miscarried brimm

    I think the way those around you have handled this situation is downright appalling. You need love, hugs, kind words - not being told you are being an inconvenience. My mind boggles at the selfishness and lack of compassion.

    This has been a very stressful life experience for you. Your husband has shown he cannot emotionally 'be there' for you, when you need him most. My heart really breaks for you.

    I would seriously recommend taking some time out for yourself to think about life and what you want for the future. You seem like a lovely person and you deserve to be happy.

    Don't be afraid to put your happiness first, because I sadly doubt your husband ever will

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