It sounds like you have started to take the reins. That's great. I still think your husband's attitude about the whole situation is not good. Bribing you is still apart of emotional blackmail (and it sounds you're aware of what he is doing) and I can tell you that it sounds like he knows he is pushing you away with all his screaming and spoilt boy attitude, so he may be nice to pursue you. Brimm, you are taking the right steps as far as getting things checked out thoroughly and precise, which I applaud you. I know it's hard for you, but go to these appointments in your head space and not in his head space. Let him sook, you're entitled to do what YOU want, it's YOUR body and YOUR choice too. Lots of hugs to you. x
⭐️DS #1 born 15.03.2010⭐️
⭐️DS #2 born 16.02.2014⭐️
⭐️Me=29 💗 DP=34⭐️
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31-05-2014 10:32 #231
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31-05-2014 10:45 #232-
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31-05-2014 11:17 #233
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Atlantic Puffin (02-06-2014)
31-05-2014 12:05 #234
What a big ordeal OP I'm sorry about the loss of your mum and everything that happened to you.
If I were in your shoes, I'd ask for a mental health plan from the GP at your next appointment. This will allow you to get free counseling sessions.
And I'd go to this session alone. You have so much to talk about and to make sense of. The loss of your mum, the relationship with your dad, your unsupportive husband, and now this pregnancy.
You need an unbiased professional IN YOUR CORNER.
Seriously this is so important and would set you up to take the best decision for your future.
I think you have made up your mind about the pregnancy and you have for a while.
If it was me, I wouldn't go ahead with it as your DH sounds manipulative and the worst partner in life to be honest
I believe people show their true colors in difficult times.
This raised alarm bells too
Even if you do believe that your marriage is build to last it feels like there is no right answer. Either you go ahead with the pregnancy and your husband will resent you for it or you have a aborting and you will never forgive him.
Which takes me back to my first point : please go and get counseling for yourself through your GP.
31-05-2014 17:38 #235
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31-05-2014 20:34 #236
OP, I am so sorry you are going through all of this the first time you get pregnant and its a wanted baby is supposed to be such a special time, its not meant to be like this.
Sorry but your DH is an ****!!! I hope everything is ok with bub and you find the strength to stick to your guns and keep your baby.
Life is often put on hold when you have a baby, you're both so young and have plenty of time to build up your properties, have nice things like cars etc - If there was only a way for your DH to realise this....
But something tells me this isn't the issue, I would be concerned he would never want kids. Did you speak about it before you git married? How long you wanted to wait before having kids? Either way, its life and not everything goes to plan, and,clearly,your wedding vows mean nothing.
I agree you should get counseling by yourself. As another poster mentioned too if your baby is still going strong, s/he will be your one constant, the love of your life. You won't ever be alone and won't ever hurt you like your husband currently is.
Good luck, I'll be thinking of you and the precious life growing inside you and I hope you make a decision that will give you the most peace.
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31-05-2014 20:44 #237
Thinking of you, hope you are doing ok. Take care of yourself, if you want to keep the baby you might begin to take a pre-pregnancy multivitamin or some folate.
Even if he does get mad at you, you can walk away, go for a drive, phone a friend, go for a walk, go to a movie - you don't need to put up with someone constantly pushing against your boundaries when you have already told them how you feel.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind".
Hope you're having a nice weekend. You are not alone.
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31-05-2014 22:14 #238
Op's husband is being a sh*t right now but it doesn't necessarily mean he's a bad man, only OP knows if his reaction is a warning sign for the future.
ETA: we did end up terminating that pregnancy and have had two planned babies that he has loved with all his heart since.
Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 01-06-2014 at 06:14.
01-06-2014 06:21 #239Senior Member
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- Mar 2014
@hollygolighty81, that is really sad and I am sorry. I am glad to hear you are in a much better place and things have worked for you and your family. Can I ask a question (no judgement, just cuurious) did you want to terminate your first pregnancy or was it because your dh wanted you to, and do you have any regrets?
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01-06-2014 15:18 #240
I do regret it but at the same time I don't. It's a weird feeling. I wasn't ready and so scared but obviously I carry a lot of guilt. It triggered major depression in me that I've battled. Our first baby was stillborn and I've struggled with thoughts that she died because I'm being punished. But it's only since having her and our baby boy that I've started to feel more at peace and feel it was the right decision, I am so grateful for my husband and our baby girl and boy and as I look down at my hilarious DS it's hard to regret something that made his life possible. So even though it was a very hard and painful decision and I'll always carry guilt, I do think it ended up being the right one.
I'm not saying OP's husband isn't being a sh*thead and maybe it's a warning sign, but also maybe it's not. Maybe he is a great guy that just doesn't have the emotional maturity to handle this right now. Only OP knows.
Last edited by HollyGolightly81; 01-06-2014 at 15:20.
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