A friend of mine had a positive pregnancy test and assumed she was 4 weeks. 2 weeks later her dating scan put her at only just over 4 weeks when she should have been 6 and she feared the worst but they did a repeat scan 2 weeks after that abs instead of showing her at 6 weeks which according to the first scan she should have been she measured 8 weeks.
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30-05-2014 19:36 #211
30-05-2014 19:49 #212
If you do have a repeat scan try and go to a women's ultrasound clinic where it's pretty much all they do each day. I think it's doctors in those places who do the scans too so you would be getting the expert.
But as others have said the blood tests will tell you if it's progressing as it should or it. HCG is meant to double every 2 days.
30-05-2014 19:57 #213Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
Just wanted to say good luck op, whatever happens.
If you keep your bub, given what your partner has done so far and how he has behaved would you trust him to love and not to intentionally hurt your child if he/she didn't do what he wanted? Stop crying/ruin his plans? As he has done and continues to do with you? What if you suffer pnd, would he support you emotionally and your child through it, or turn his back. Just something to consider. It is a massive red flag for me having the life experience I do... He is a fairweather friend, only around for the good times or while it suits him. You deserve better, the only way to show him this is to have some respect for and stand up for yourself - this means doing what YOU need to do for you. People will treat you the way you let them. You are not an object, you are an intelligent, caring person capable of independence - stop relying on him to make you feel worthwhile, you can (and will) hold your own in the world.
If you decide to stay with this person regardless of outcome I really would strongly suggest some marriage guidance counselling. Maybe your wants, needs and desires aren't compatible and identifying this - together might help you both move on. He will (regardless of whether he likes it or not) be financially responsible for any child he has.
I still think the manipulative, selfish and dangerous behaviour he has displayed will carry through your lives and only escalate. It will be a bone of contention/resentment for him and an excuse as to why "he" isnt where he wants to be in life and for the way he will continue to treat you. Do ypu want your child to feel guilty for his/her father's feeling/moods/success?
I say run, far and fast away from this man. Sorry, just my opinion.
Life happens while you are making plans. Don't focus so much on making plans that you let let life pass you by. It really is too short.
30-05-2014 20:10 #214Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2014
All I can say is you will loose him either way-- a) have the abortion and resent him or b) have the baby and he goes. The baby is unconditional love and finances will work out. It's just money, and we surprise ourselves with what we can get through.
30-05-2014 20:20 #215
As Cue suggested, the babys age in the scan is most likely based on the date of its conception, not your last period, as a sac is not visible until 5 weeks from your period on ultrasound, and according to you a sac was present on the scan. Makes complete sense. Also regarding dates, many women ovulate late and this causes dates to be out. Also, scanning is not an exact science, and shows variability operator to operator. Try to relax a little, don't work yourself up into feeling stressed and tired. You have been through so much, take care of yourself in the meantime.
Next port of call is the GP for pregnancy bloods, Hcg and repeat scans if you are going to take care of the baby. Prenatal bloods are important, don't be like me and have something missed which causes a miscarriage (in my case a low thyroid).
Good luck girl. X
Last edited by Butterfly39; 30-05-2014 at 20:31.
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30-05-2014 20:31 #216
I have been in this position. I've heard those exact same words from my own husband when I told him that I was pregnant - 'Get rid of it'. I begged, pleaded, sobbed and pleaded some more. He made my life a living hell until I did what he wanted. I lied through my teeth to the counsellor at the abortion clinic and said what my husband wanted me to say. I understand the pressure and the helplessness of it.
Here's the thing. If you terminate when you don't want to, you will never feel the same way about your husband again. I will never shake off that betrayal. Your relationship will never be the same. And once it is done, there is nothing that you can do to undo it.
I am pro-choice, but anti being forced/coerced into it. I still know exactly how old my baby would be. I resent my husband hugely. 15 months after my termination he still has refused to have a vasectomy because he is scared. He didn't give a stuff when I was filled with fear and horror, but he is too scared and lets himself off the hook.
Ultimately, do what is right for you, because if you terminate because he wants it, you will just end up hating him.
30-05-2014 20:38 #217
30-05-2014 20:50 #218Member
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- May 2014
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30-05-2014 20:59 #219
30-05-2014 21:08 #220
Yes, I'm still with him. Why? I don't feel I have the power to get out of this situation...yet. Our eldest child is also a Special Needs child and I am overwhelmed by the thought of going it alone. I feel very 'detached' from my husband. I am currently pregnant again. I told him flatly that I would not terminate this time. He promised to have a vasectomy 2.5 years ago and still hasn't.
I have never felt the same sense of being completely unable to do ANYTHING AT ALL to right a mistake, that I do in regard to my abortion. There is not a single thing, nothing that can undo or right what was done.
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