DS ws 3.5 when I had DD and I found it really hard too!
- Whilst your DH is at home make sure you have a shower every morning. When he goes back to work can he mind bubs whilst you have a shower? It does wonders for the soul!!
- Take a walk each morning with the kids, even if it is only just around the block. Fresh air, sunshine and a bit of exercise is very theraputic. If the day goes pear shaped from there at least you've managed to get some exercise for you and DD1.
- Have stashes of activities on hand. Examples:
> Big box with playdo (just wrap it in cling film in between times) and some playdo toys. I keep a box in the kitchen.
> Activity / sticker books.
Don't be afraid to put ABC2/DVDs on. I did play things in the morning and quiet/TV things in the afternoon because DS was feral from a bout 2pm onwards although he refused to nap.
Have DD1s lunch and snacks pre-made so you can just grab them from the fridge when needed.
I found it really helped when I got into a weekly routine. DS went to kindy 2 days a week, we did playgroup one day, swimming lesson another day etc. DD was so demanding as a newborn (well, for the first year or so really) I felt like I was neglecting DS so much. I remember one night I was crying about this and when DS was asleep in bed I climbed into bed next to him and just cuddled him.
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19-05-2014 11:40 #11
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19-05-2014 11:48 #12-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Congrats on bub! How was the birth?
I know how you are feeling.. My ds1 is 2.5 and ds2 is 3 months... Oh boy was it bloody hard in the beginning! And it's still damn hard now!
Below are some things hubby and I are trialling. Some of them have already been suggested by PP's Feel free to follow or ignore, do whatever you think will work for you
- have hubby stay home for as long as possible (my hubby had 7 weeks off work)
- have hubby take over primary care of the eldest child while he is at home. If you feel guilty then plan a special time with mummy once per week (eg go to the park with your eldest and leave bub at home with daddy)
- slow cooker at least twice per week
- use DVDs to entertain your eldest (gotta love Thomas the tank engine)
- take out once per week usually Friday (we have one of those entertainment books that has discount vouchers). On that night we aren't allowed to do any housework after 7:30, no matter how messy the house is
- have your eldest in daycare at least a few days per week
- get outdoors for exercise at least once per day
19-05-2014 12:10 #13
It definitely gets easier! Everyone else has given some wonderful practical advice, but I just wanted to assure you that what you're feeling is normal, I remember feeling so overwhelmed when DS2 was born, but after awhile it will all just feel normal, like its always been that way.
If its any consolation I found the jump from 1-2 sooo much harder than 2-3!
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19-05-2014 12:18 #14
Hugs hun. And huge congratulations on your new bub.
That first week is horrendous. Everyone is trying yo find the new normal and where the new boundaries are. It takes a little while for the older siblings to adjust and for your new bub to settle.
IT WILL GET EASIER I PROMISE.
Give yourself and the rest of family time. Focus on just getting through today for now.
Things to help you get through today.
Get hubby or someone to pick you up a 2 pack of pop tops (it the bottles you want b not the drink in them ). You need the type that you can reuse. These work better than a big drink bottle as if it spills it not so bad. Fill them at night or in the morning so do can grab herself a drink when she wants one.
Make up snacks either in small containers or zip lock bags. Once again either put them where do can reach or grab 2 before you sit down to feed. One for her and one for you as it easy not eat when your so busy. Oh a water bottle for you keep where you feed most.
This works for me but not for everyone. Grab a basket or container that you can carry in one hand. Put everything few nappies, wipes, change of clothes and creams etc. That you use to change bub. Keep it in lounge or wherever you are most. That way you can change her quickly where ever you are.
Simple meals. Keep things as simple as possible. If have frozen meals use them or grab something you can just chuck in the oven and walk away. Remember you won't be doing this forever just until you get back on feet so to speak.
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19-05-2014 12:18 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2011
I'm in same situation op and I'm feeling a bit frazzled. Thanks for the great tips everyone. Another thing I find works for us is DS sitting beside me while I'm feeding with a book or the reading eggs app on the tablet, and we go through them together.
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19-05-2014 12:26 #16
It really is a massive shock to the system. everyone has added so many good tips and pieces of advice. I don't really have anything extra to add as everyone has already given such great advice.
Just be kind to yourself.
19-05-2014 13:01 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
Dd was 22mths when ds was born. She was too young for rewards, stickers, a "special box" and nothing on tv/DVD interested her. She just wanted me 24/7 as that's what she was used to before the baby.
once dh returned to work I found it easier to get into routine and begin relying on myself again. I had no family or friends around to rely on.
Things that worked:
routine - getting up and out of house same time each day. Night time routine from day dot.
baby sling - ds lived in it untill he got too heavy. I had two hands for dd while ds dozed.
continuing with dd's usual daily activities like playgroup ect.
twin stroller that reclined. I could put them both in it, give dd some snacks and just walk in the fresh air/at the shops while ds had his late arvo nap.
Getting dd to help out. As annoying as it sounds, it kept her happy and less screaming matches.
While bfing, I couldn't stand dd being near me, I really struggled with bfing. I used to get out some special snacks (tiny teddies). I actually dreaded every bf because dd would go nuts and demand everything just as ds latched on. Sorry no advice here.
Creche 1 day a week for dd
Lowering my own expectations
taking one day at a time
goodluck. We are 16mths down the track and it's still so full on.
Last edited by Little Miss Muffet; 19-05-2014 at 13:24.
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19-05-2014 13:09 #18
Just thinking about this some more as DD is now 3.5 so I'm thinking of things she likes to do.
As before, I woudl recommend keeping a series of activities in boxes and only allowing 1 or 2 per day to keep up the novelty.
- colouring books with some crayons in a box.
- beads and string to make neclaces
- simple puzzles/wood puzzles
- plain paper and glitter pens/special pens
When she is finished she has to tidy everything up and put it back in the box. This will not always work perfectly, I've yet to meet at 3 year old that can pack up a box of playdo, pick all the bits of playdo from the tools, the floor and the table, roll it into a ball and cover it air tight in cling wrap!
19-05-2014 14:27 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
It's a real shock isn't it? DS was 2 yrs 8 months when DD was born. I felt like things were starting to get easy, and then it was back to square one. Every time I'd take the pram out of the boot I'd think "this isn't fair, I've already done all this before!".
Everyone's given great advice so I don't really have anything to add except that my DD lived in her swing for the first few weeks, when she got sick of that I'd put her in the bouncer, then back in the swing etc etc. I can't really remember the day to day (DD is now 7.5 mo) but somewhere along the line you find a rhythm and it all gets much easier.
19-05-2014 15:07 #20
I have a 22 mth gap. Dh was home for just the 2 weeks but I had an easy birth and bf very easily so it wasn't a big deal.
I would head out every weekday morning for a big walk and take a packed lunch and morning tea in the pram. We would head out around 6.30-7am to a park and have breakfast there (via a coffee shop for a latte). Toddler would play and I would bf baby in carrier as needed or just let bub be in the pram.
Then head to daycare, shops to pick up whatever for dinner, post office, playgroup, library etc. Morning tea there. Then offer toddler lunch in pram on way home. By the time you get home around 11 ish the older one is ready for a sleep. I would usually head down for a nap with bub.
Afternoons were usually bumming in the house/backyard. I'd pop dinner on if needed and just chill out/cluster feed dd2
dd1 went to daycare 2 days a week. I used those days to batch cook for the week, grocery shop and errands. We were a one car family so I walked everywhere.
Evenings were ok. Bathed both girls together and they usually slept pretty well from 7.30pm. Then I'd tidy up and pack meals for the next day, laundry, put away clothes.
Dh was away a lot so that was tiring but my mum came over every sat to help out.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
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