Dd2 is 6 days old and dd1 is 3.5 I cant believe the shock its been going from one child to two and having a newborn while having a pre schooler to look after as well. The lack of sleep and recovery has been awful but trying to adjust to the demands on me has been really tough. Im breastfeeding but already having to express one side from same issues i had with my first and mainly feed from the other so thats rrally time consuming too. Im lucky to have time to go to the loo or shower.
Dh is off work for another two weeks and its chaos even with him here. Im so short with dd1 who wont leave dd1 alone and is being naughty alot of the time ( I know its really hard on her too)
Basically I just need some tips on how to cope and even remotely keep on top of things.
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19-05-2014 10:44 #1
Help me cope as a new mum of two
19-05-2014 10:51 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2008
First of all, it will get easier.
Secondly, don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's ok to take a few shortcuts while you adjust. Have eggs on toast for dinner, pop DD in front of a kids movie after lunch while you rest etc.
You've probably seen it suggested a lot before, but a box of special toys/stickers/playdoh can be kept up high and brought out at desperate times. That way DD1 feels special and you have some time to feed, settle or express.
Your bub is only so new, you will adjust.
Congratulations by the way!!
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19-05-2014 10:57 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2011
Subbing, I have a 4wk old and almost 3yr old.
19-05-2014 11:04 #4
It's a shock to the system isn't it!! I agree that it does get easier!! I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment. DS1 was 22 months when I had DS2 and I felt totally overwhelmed at times, especially in those first 6 weeks. I prob did the things that other Mums are 'anti' but I don't care - anything to get through it. I used the swing or fed to sleep and probably used the TV too much for DS1. I found my hugabub a godsend as well. It's all a bit of a blur now. Good luck and take care of yourself.
19-05-2014 11:07 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
It will get easier!! you are doing a great job.
My second child is now 6 months but when he was born my first was only 15 months and i found the first two months very draining. BUT knowing it wont last forever does help.
a few tips
- find whatever your older DD is interested in and use it TOO much. My daughter has just discovered the wiggles and for the first few weeks after my husband went back to work- she watched way too much of it, but it helped us all get through the day.
- try and keep your older DD to the same nap/bedtime routine so you at least know what time your day ends with her.
- I found those first weeks when my husband was home, that he virtually took over all care of the older child. my daughter loved hanging out with daddy, they would go out to the park, playdates together and give me time with just the baby to rest and relax.
- use your slow cooker- i always popped dinner in the slowcooker in the morning so by he afternoon when everyone was tired it was ready to eat.
the first part is tough, but you will get through it. Do you have family- Mother or MIL/ aunty/cousin who can come over and just play outside with your older DD, burn all her energy out in the morning so you can just let her play inside for the afternoon/watch telly.
I found when it was time for my husband to go back to work, i was kinda ready for him to go. I wanted to find my own routine for the day.
As the baby gets older it will get easier and when you see the siblings interaction, it will just melt your heart!
Keep your spirits up.
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19-05-2014 11:10 #6
It will get easier. Have you got a sling or carrier? It was an absolute life-saver for me when DS2 was newborn - he was so happy and content when he was awake and he just slept when need be and I had hands free to wrangle DS1.
Take advantage of DH being around and get him to focus most of his attention on your DD1 - take her to the park to burn some energy etc. and give you some time alone to deal with bub. Often this is a really tough time for older siblings and they will act out no matter what, but a bit extra attention might help her adjust.
Try to forget about housework, and just do the bare minimum (or get DH to) to get by. We had lots of eggs on toast meals when DS2 was a newby. Sleep when bub does and try to go to bed early to get as much sleep as you can (at least in the next couple of weeks while DH is home to watch DD1 while you sleep.)
Hang in there and just do whatever works to get you through these first few tough weeks.
Last edited by decemberbubba; 19-05-2014 at 11:15.
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19-05-2014 11:19 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
It is so tough for the first few weeks something's I used to get us through were
- Carriers. My hug a bub and ergo saved me! I could get things done while DD2 slept on my chest
- TV/iPad. I had I feed/express a lot with DD2 as she was prem and a horrible feeder. I pretty much let DD1 watch as much as she wanted because I knew it wouldn't be forever
- got DD1 special "feeding" toys that only came out when I has to feed DD2
- If people offer help, take it! My mum did washing and cooked us meals, it was such a huge help
- don't stress about cleaning
- do you have anyone who could maybe take your oldest for a day? I know not everyone agrees with this but my parents or sister would take DD1 out for a special "big kid day", lunch and a movie or playground. Meant I could catch up on sleep or just relax
The Following User Says Thank You to Anjalee For This Useful Post:
19-05-2014 11:30 #8
It can be very hard adjusting, I had 3 other able adults in the house but still found it exhausting!
Things I found useful:
Get some kind of cooking appliance that you can put on and leave, I use the slow cooker a lot and the tefal cook for me (it's like a clever pressure cooker).
Cook when you can and freeze meals
Get a real looking doll and some accessories for the oldest child, DD loves to imitate me and will repeat what ever I'm doing with DS with her dolly.
Get the toddler involved, bring wipes, take nappy to the bin, bring bib blanket and lots of praise.
Sticker books, coloring in books, videos, games on iPad always have a stock or backup so that when you're busy with baby you can pull out a new something for your toddler to do (doesn't have to be expensive)
I got big tubs to put toys in, makes tidying up a lot easier.
It does get easier!
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19-05-2014 11:35 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
I'll be in a similar situation in a couple months - aaaaaaaah!! So thanks to OP for the question and thanks to PPs for the helpful replies full of practical tips!
19-05-2014 11:39 #10
Subbing, great thread!
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