I need helps ladies and I'm at breaking point! I just don't know what to do anymore. My dd, 8.5 months old, 7 months corrected (arrived prem), will only fall asleep being breastfeed. That's not the bit that concerns me - it's just getting beyond a joke because she wakes at every sleep cycle (40 mins?) even at night. She has become worse as she gets older. She wakes and wants to feed. She mostly just suckles and doesn't actually feed. From about 3am onwards I have to bring her into my bed and let her constantly suckle with the boob in her mouth. I used to be able to take her off and cuddle into me and co-sleep for the remainder of the night but now it's boob in mouth or she isn't going back to sleep! As you can imagine it's very uncomfortable for me to sleep like this and make sure she is safe so I don't sleep properly at all.
She seems to go down to sleep ok at night around 7.30pm but the night waking begins about 40-60 mins later. I've tried offering a dummy - she pulls it out of her mouth in such disgust and gets quite upset that I would offer suck an inferior substitute! Also tried sending dh in to settle her, again she opens her eyes to see it's him and she is disgusted and angry it's not me with the boob!
I have the option to go to the Brisbane nurture centre sleep clinic but that's not for another 6 weeks or so. I want to go there but I am afraid at how bad she will take it and how upsetting it will be for her and I. I know the practice responsive settling and will teach me to shush and pat her. It's not that I am incapable of doing this myself, but my god she screams the house down when I have tried this. I tried it last night because she was getting annoyed at me for removing the boob and trying to get her back into the cot. She will only allow me to put her back 2-3 times and then it's like she's regained enough energy to fight back hard and insist I let her in the bed.
Sorry it's a big of a ramble I just don't know what to do and would appreciate any advice? Has anyone been in this situation - what did you do? I'm so tired and this is part of the problem, I give in...
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19-05-2014 08:13 #1
Help with sleep issues - letting dd bf to sleep
19-05-2014 12:21 #2
19-05-2014 12:34 #3
My 6 month old DD was the same she could only get to sleep on the boob.
I went to Karitane for sleep settling and you will be surprised how quickly they adjust to change.
It's not easy and there was a bit of protest from her but she is slowly learning to put herself to sleep.
I would reckon going to the sleep school, she will be fine.
19-05-2014 12:38 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
I used to bf ds to sleep because that's what worked. I didn't care. He used to wake every 40 mins too. Then it stopped working. So I introduced dummy and comforter (that I slept with for a week). I also gave him more solids during day. Yoghurt, crackers, avo for snacks ect. Even 16mths down the track he is a hungry needy baby who loves his snuggles. Dd was opposite so I am trying to enjoy his need to be comforted by me.
19-05-2014 12:42 #5-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Sorry you have having such a rough trot.... You sound tired and generally exhausted
I know this is the no cry sleep solution section but I have to say that continuing to give bub the boob to sleep is most likely/definitely the cause of the night wakings. The easiest way to stop the wakings is to stop feeding bub to sleep. And giving bub boob at night. If it were me I would just cut the night boob out cold turkey and brace myself for a week or so of tears. That's not keeping in line with the spirit of this section though so instead could you try putting bub to bed drowsy but not asleep? And waiting a few miners before giving bub the boob at night... Slowly extending the waiting time each night?
With my bubs I have noticed that they may make some noise at night but they are not really waking up... If I go in and make a fuss they wake up... If I leave them they are quiet and asleep within a few minutes. Could this be happening with your bub?
How is your bub eating? Getting plenty of solids/protein during the day?
19-05-2014 12:46 #6
I know its probably not what most would recommend ... but does your bub take a dummy?
Comfort sucking is pretty normal for most babies, and you are basically acting as a human dummy. Provided she is feeding well, I would try a dummy and see if she will get her comfort from that.
19-05-2014 12:53 #7
my bub is 12 months old this weekend, and still wakes at every sleep cycle through the night and I feed him back to sleep every time as its the only way he'll go back to sleep.
If he makes a sound and I ignore it and don't go to him immediately, he wakes completely and then takes forever to get back to sleep, if I go to him straight away, he generally goes back to sleep fairly easily with a feed. Not always but most of the time.
I gave up on the cot a couple of months ago now, he sleeps on a queen size mattress in his own bedroom. I put him to bed in his own room and go to my own bed, but then when he wakes I go to him and stay with him. It's the only way the 2 of us get enough sleep.
I would never leave my babies to cry, but even if I wanted to it wouldn't be an option as I have a 3 and 4 year old in the bedroom right next to him, and if he cries he will wake everybody up, and then I'd have 3 awake babies to deal with instead of one!
Anyway, good luck. If you do seek professional help I hope it works out for you and you both start sleeping better! I've found the best thing for me is to just accept that this is my life for now, and be ok with it. I do not find the frequent wake ups stressful because I'm not worried that I'm "ruining" him or screwing him up or anything else, I just go with it. I'm certain a lot of people struggle so much with night wake ups more because of other people telling them they must be doing something wrong for baby to be doing this. You're not, it's just the way your bub is wired
19-05-2014 13:16 #8
Hugs OP. This was pretty much the story with DS1, except I would get 1-2 hours at a time overnight. After trying all else and nothing working, I decided to night wean him at 9 months. I started by still feeding at each wake, but timing it and pulling him off after 1 minute, then rocking to sleep in arms. Then I reduced the feed time over about a week and stopped feeding and just rocked to sleep. Then I worked on rocking until drowsy and putting down awake and patting off to sleep. Then stopped picking him up and just patted in cot. There was some crying involved - when I cut out boob altogether he was mighty unhappy but I was always with him. As we went on he got quicker and quicker to settle and started sleeping longer chunks. It was a gradual process and took awhile, and there were some nights where it got too much and I fed and went back to rocking/ patting next wake up. After about 3 months he was sleeping 10-12 hours straight. Good luck, hopefully you find something that works for you and your LO.
Last edited by decemberbubba; 19-05-2014 at 13:18.
19-05-2014 13:22 #9
Yep, what Caz said. I also started gently removing my nipple from baby's mouth as soon as he's stopped sucking. Sometimes it works, other times he won't let go or immediately latches on again. But over time he's learned to finish his feed then roll over and go to sleep without it. And now (at 10 months) he has started to wake at night and grizzle/roll around a bit and put himself back to sleep. It's easier for me to be okay with it because he's my second baby and I know it gets better.
19-05-2014 14:01 #10
Just to let you know I also feed to sleep and bub wakes anywhere from 0 to 3 times for a feed.
I agree with some of the PP's comments, esp 2 things VP said
- ensure baby is well fed in the day, sometimes hard as they are less hungry when feeding a lot at night
- leave baby a bit when they wake up, mine sometimes grumbles for 10 mins or so then goes back to sleep.
I also don't automatically feed when she wakes, I let her grumble, if it becomes a cry or if she's carrying on a bit too much I try and pat her back, then I try a pacifier and if that still doesn't work I'll feed. But I try and make it a last resort. Last night mine woke twice for a feed and she's 8 mths. I just accept it and try not to let it get me down. I hope you start getting some sleep soon.
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