6 year old behaviour issues

[soulmama]

My Dd6 spent the first 4.5 years of her lie only having me as a parent. Then along came her now step dad and a now 2.5 year old step bro (at the time he was about 10 mths).

In the past almost 2 years a lot has happened and now I am 38wks pregnant.

I feel like my daughter who I once used to be so close to is slipping away from me. She does well at school, is outgoing and loves to play with other kids. She spends a lot of her time at her friends houses (neighbours).

She is very uncooperative even if I give her forewarning about what will be happening or what is expected of her. She constantly pushes the boundaries and is always challenging me.

Don't get me wrong, I know it's a stage that she will go through but it seems so young to be going through it. Kurt tonight I asked her to brush her teeth and it turned into an all out fight with me and her in tears.

I try to be reasonable about things and when I feel myself losing my cool I explain that I am getting cranky and I need 5 mins alone to calm down so that I don't say or do anything nasty but that seems only to aggravate her more. She won't let me have the time to calm down, she'll scream and cry and throw an even bigger tantrum, it escalates and then I just get even more frustrated because I feel like a failure for needing that time, for having to ask her for that time.

There is so much in this that I am missing out because it is do complicated but basically I want to know what I can do?

She is intelligent, I know she understands when everything had calmed down and we sit down to talk and I explain but it just never seems to go beyond that.

I love her so much and I do desperately want our relationship to blossom again but I don't even know where to start with her behaviour.

[Night Owl]

I think your daughter may be feeling rejected.....with a younger step brother and now a baby coming soon which will take up more of your time.

Maybe you need to have one on one time with her. Like a a few hours where you spend time with her....and make it a routine every week or fortnight, so that your daughter feels special.

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[soulmama]

I completely agree night owl but how do i make her want to ? I try to set up things like bake some cookies, watch a movie etc with her but she chooses to go and play outside with her friends. Do I tell her she can't? That she has to stay with me? I'm so confused!

[Night Owl]

Could you schedule to do something with her away from home (Just for an hour or two) and give her notice by telling her next week on a certain day you're taking her to lunch, or to get hot chocolate etc.


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[Night Owl]

I would also remind her that she is special and important in both your life and her step dad's life.

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[Nomia]

She could be sensing that you won't have enough time for her or her role in the family. Maybe encouraging her role as a big sister will help?