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  1. #21
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    Absolutely, that is awful!

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    That sounds like teenage behaviour, not grown adults in a work environment. Of course you don't have to like everyone, and chances are most of us dislike some people. But you can still treat people with respect and I think that s a must in a work situation.

    Quote Originally Posted by AngelicHobgoblin View Post
    So what...? Are you forced to be friends with everybody? If yoy like someone are you expected to be friends with them? What's meaner? Telling someone you dont like them or just ignoring them and hope they take the hint?

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  4. #23
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    Yes that's a form of bullying definitely


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  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rose&Aurelia View Post
    Just recently got burned by this at work. Apparently even if someone feels excluded it's bullying (no intent needed by the bully aka me). I got pulled up for organizing take away for a few friends (about 8) for lunch every wed. Another 6 ppl (out of a dept of 56) felt excluded they were not involved.

    Bizzaro world. So now we all furtively disappear for lunch and can't discuss our personal life at work any more.


    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
    I find this a bit rough. Are you expected to organise lunch for all 56 people? Excluding 1 person I can understand but not including 48 people really doesn't seem like bullying.

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  7. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelicHobgoblin View Post
    So what...? Are you forced to be friends with everybody? If yoy like someone are you expected to be friends with them? What's meaner? Telling someone you dont like them or just ignoring them and hope they take the hint?
    Those are fair questions, but I think that's exactly why victims in scenarios like the OP mentioned feel helpless. Because it feels petty to, say, make a formal complaint to a manager saying things like 'everyone has coffee together and I don't get invited', or 'no one responds to me when I talk'. But by what you're saying, that a person who is disliked should just 'take the hint' in a working context, then that represents unprofessional behaviour to me. If there's a genuine work-related issue then there should be a grievance procedure that is followed. If it's just your garden variety personality clash, then I think it *is* bullying to willfully exclude people in such an obvious, repeated manner. Not to mention that peer pressure probably comes into it a bit and the whole thing can become a gang mentality.

    And out of the options you offered, well both options are mean. Why does anyone need to be mean?

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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelicHobgoblin View Post
    So what...? Are you forced to be friends with everybody? If yoy like someone are you expected to be friends with them? What's meaner? Telling someone you dont like them or just ignoring them and hope they take the hint?
    So what? A work force of ten people and someone is being continually excluded and ignored and that's ok? How about just being civil and courteous and inclusive and I dunno, nice?

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    I think the key is bullying or harassment is not always what is intended but if the victim feels bullied by someone else's actions then it is always bullying... You can't make someone feel a certain way, so we do need to respect other peoples backgrounds/personalities etc especially in a work place. If the bullying continued once highlighted & behaviours weren't changed then it becomes a bigger issue, we should all be adult enough to be pulled up on something we do & rectify the situation.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bond Girl View Post
    It's not about being 'friends' as such but about being a courteous and respectful colleague. If it's a team of 10 and only 1 person is deliberately left out then yeah, its hurtful and rude. You don't have to be best buds but you can be polite and include someone. It's also the professional thing to do. Saying "So what?" is dismissing the OP's obvious feelings of hurt.
    "So what?" wasnt meant that way sorry. just to clarify.

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    I agree it isn't nice. I guess I just hate the feeling of... well forced feelings. I mean, yes keep it friendly in the work place! Im more talking about social situations and not work. Sorry, its just come up in convo at home and I was genuinely curious on it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelicHobgoblin View Post
    I agree it isn't nice. I guess I just hate the feeling of... well forced feelings. I mean, yes keep it friendly in the work place! Im more talking about social situations and not work. Sorry, its just come up in convo at home and I was genuinely curious on it.
    Well, I live in a really small, rural community and since moving here, you learn to get along with everyone. You don't have to live in each others pockets but you need to be kind, inclusive and just grown up!


 

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