Oh *hugs* OP. I have only just had my traumatic birth so I'm not a lot of help but I definitely agree with posters who have suggesting seeing someone. I have just started and while it doesn't happen overnight, it's nice to have someone to vent to, someone I don't know personally.
I have also had two traumatic ectopics with a hospital and I complained after negligence on their part (so bad I could sue... But not sure I can handle it) and they wouldn't even offer an apology. Not a single word. They wouldn't even give me my hospital records without jumping through hoops! It blows my mind women go through this everyday, and hospitals and drs think it's ok
If you ever need to vent please feel free to PM me. Like I said, sometimes it's nice to have someone just listen. Sometimes you don't want to be told it's ok, you just want to let it all out and get it off your chest xx
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30-04-2014 22:36 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
30-04-2014 22:51 #12
I also had a traumatic birth and am still dealing with it...though mine was only 9 months ago.
A few things that have helped me:
Seeing a social worker to talk through my thoughts
Writing a letter of complaint - just felt good to get it all out!
Having a meeting with the hospital
Having a close friend to talk it out with
After my meeting with the hospital I felt a massive weight had been lifted. I got to let them know how much it affected me and it is not something that just goes away once walking out of the hospital doors. I know it was quite some time ago that this happened to you, but maybe you would feel some closure from meeting with a hospital representative and going through your progress notes and talking about it?
30-04-2014 23:03 #13
And no...you won't ever get an apology from the hospital. I work at the hospital where I had my traumatic birth and friends/colleagues were involved and I still got no apology for what happened.
02-05-2014 00:00 #14
thanks so much everyone it hadn't occurred to me to get my hospital records, i'm not sure if that will help or make me more upset lol. My homebirthing midwife did this, I remember her saying she took photos of her paperwork in the lift with her phone since they don't let you make copies apparently, and she was furious to see the lies in her records, things like claiming she dilated 5cm in 2 minutes. The truth is they didn't believe her when she said how dilated she was, despite being a midwife herself who'd already had a baby before.
Talking to the hospital face to face isn't really an option now since its several hours away as I've moved, they did offer it at the time but it was in the same conversation where they had already completely dismissed everything I said so I told them I didn't see the point. I felt a bit better after writing my angry letter though. Thinking back to my labor I really can't hold anyone but them responsible, they treated me like garbage because I was 18. When my (now) ex went to the midwives station to ask for help, they were sitting around chatting and reading newspapers and told him to deal with it himself. They'd even commented how quiet the ward was so it's not like they were too busy, they just didn't give a toss. My friend who was there had a bad experience too (we has antenatal class together), they discharged her prematurely when her son had severe jaundice and they ended up having to be readmitted less than a week later.
I feel bad as well cos as far as traumatic births go, mine wasn't as bad. My daughter was born relatively healthy (apart from being stressed and hypothermic and being incubated for three days), I didn't have an emergency C section etc. It was just so humiliating, the midwife stuffed up my IV and I ended up covered in blood so they took my dressing gown off and didn't give me anything else so I was naked, in unbelievable pain with strangers coming in and out of the room and people looking in through the door - which they didn't close - while i was naked and screaming. I've never been in such pain or felt as helpless, degrading and humiliated as I did then.
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