+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    178
    Thanks
    50
    Thanked
    32
    Reviews
    0

    Default angry!

    I had a traumatic birth with DD1 and seven years later, I'm still not over it. I am absolutely furious at the way I was treated, the permanent damage their negligence (kaleeya hospital midwives and obstetrician) has done to my body and mind, and I don't know how to get past it. After the birth they asked me, straight away, how it was. I said "okay i guess?" not really knowing and still recovering from this traumatic labor that left my daughter hypothermic and in an incubator, all due to their incompetence. When I complained later, they refused to listen to me because of that single sentence i said a day after I gave birth. In retrospect, I realize they do this on purpose knowing that it takes weeks or months to process a birth experience, particularly a traumatic one. I am so, so angry even after all these years. I once wrote a letter telling them I'd rather give birth on a roadside than in their hospital, which they ignored, but it's true.
    Does the anger ever go away? Trying to TTC has brought it all back.

  2. #2
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
    Winner 2012 - Biggest Computer Nerd
    Winner 2013/14 - Funniest Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    9,354
    Thanks
    2,835
    Thanked
    9,037
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    *hugs* Have you tried talking to a counsellor about this?

    Tbh the only thing that healed me was giving birth again and it going the right way at a DIFFERENT hospital.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
    Posts
    2,567
    Thanks
    889
    Thanked
    575
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Hi Oliveaux

    I had a traumatic delivery with my DD1, and it took me 11.5 years to want another baby. I was terrified of having a delivery just like my first, but I discussed my fears all through my pregnancy with the Midwives so they knew my state of mind.

    It turned out that my second birth was totally different to my first! A polar opposite in fact. Find someone you trust to give you support and when you get preg, make the midwives listen to you so they can note on your file your past experience.

    Best of luck

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    178
    Thanks
    50
    Thanked
    32
    Reviews
    0
    thanks, my birth with DD2 was an amazing homebirth, absolutely perfect despite a long labor with a big bub and posterior. They were polar opposites, really. I think my anger is especially at the fact that what I really want is some recognition and an apology from the hospital (kaleeya hospital, never go there btw) but i know i'll never get it.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    5,005
    Thanks
    1,052
    Thanked
    3,524
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Hugs. You are right, you won't get an apology so you need to try and let that anger go some other way. I would definitely seek birth trauma counselling.

    I also requested my hospital records and reading through them helped me make sense of it all.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to kw123 For This Useful Post:

    misskittyfantastico  (30-04-2014)

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    844
    Thanks
    84
    Thanked
    235
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    Hugs. You are right, you won't get an apology so you need to try and let that anger go some other way. I would definitely seek birth trauma counselling.

    I also requested my hospital records and reading through them helped me make sense of it all.
    I think this is a great response. Best of luck Op

  8. #7
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
    Winner 2012 - Biggest Computer Nerd
    Winner 2013/14 - Funniest Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    9,354
    Thanks
    2,835
    Thanked
    9,037
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Oliveaux View Post
    thanks, my birth with DD2 was an amazing homebirth, absolutely perfect despite a long labor with a big bub and posterior. They were polar opposites, really. I think my anger is especially at the fact that what I really want is some recognition and an apology from the hospital (kaleeya hospital, never go there btw) but i know i'll never get it.
    No, you wont ever get it. My hospital actually blamed me and lied through their teeth about what happened. It made everything so much worse for me.

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    17,818
    Thanks
    5,172
    Thanked
    8,772
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Awards:
    Past Moderator - Thank you
    100 Posts in a week
    I do agree with kw. I had a traumatic birth with my first and requesting my notes was really helpful in helping me process what happened.

    Birth trauma really is horrendous, I hope that you are able to find some peace with what happened.

  10. #9
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
    Winner 2012 - Biggest Computer Nerd
    Winner 2013/14 - Funniest Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    9,354
    Thanks
    2,835
    Thanked
    9,037
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Exactly. However blaming the patient is not called for. How could i possibly be at fault for inadequate anaesthesia during a c section.

  11. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    2,491
    Thanks
    3,580
    Thanked
    838
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I got a written apology from the hospital, but it still felt empty.

    Have you had a look at the articles at http://birthtalk.org ?


 

Similar Threads

  1. i am angry with myself...
    By B00ts in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 27-08-2013, 09:45
  2. Just so angry.
    By Jennaisme in forum General Chat
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 06-06-2013, 16:51

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
FEATURED SUPPORTER
Transition into Parenthood / Calmbirth SydneyJulie's Transition into Parenthood and Calmbirth courses for pregnant couples will get you ready, prepared and ...
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Small Age GapGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Acupuncture recommendations - Melbourne.Conception & Fertility General Chat
Come chat, Ladies who are 40+ TTC or ExpectingConception & Fertility General Chat
Amazing August TTCConception & Fertility General Chat
I am... #20General Chat
REVIEWS
"Made bed time less anxious"
by Meld85
My Little Heart Whisbear - the Humming Bear reviews ›
"Wonderful natural Aussie made product!"
by Mrstwr
Baby U Goat Milk Moisturiser reviews ›
"Replaced good quality with cheap tight nappies"
by Kris
Coles Comfy Bots Nappies reviews ›