DP and I are trying to decide on how to handle surnames for our incoming baby. We want to give him both of our names but aren't sure whether to use one as a middle name or have a double surname (not hyphenated).
We want him to have maximum flexibility if he later chooses to only use one name, but with minimal paperwork and inconvenience. Thankfully our surnames are only 5 and 4 letters long, so 10 characters with a space in the middle - I don't suppose anyone knows if this will fit on most forms that have spaces for each letter?
Just to clarify, if our surnames are Bort and Blimp he could be called :
1. "Firstname Middlename Blimp Bort", but ideally go by any one of "Firstname Blimp Bort", "Firstname Blimp" or "Firstname Bort".
2. Or "Firstname Blimp Bort" where Blimp is given as the middle name.
3. Or "Blimp Bort" as the surname, but no official middle name at all.
Has anyone done this with their children? Or have this sort of thing themselves? Any opinions on what would be best?
It's a fairly minor issue in the end, but I don't want to choose the wrong thing and give him a lifetime of mild annoyance at his name...
Neither of us have any intention of changing our own names for professional reasons. And we don't feel the need for a general middle name, if we do give one it'll probably just be a video game reference or something
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26-04-2014 20:31 #1
26-04-2014 20:41 #2
A lady at work in a similar situation named her son Sebastian *her last name* *partners last name*
Her reasoning was that her son could decide if her maiden name was a middle name or a double barreled last name.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
26-04-2014 20:42 #3
Personally I would go with the first or third option. On official paperwork he would use the whole name but every day life known as whatever he chooses (you know how most forms have "known as any other name" or "preferred name" options). Hope that makes sense?
me + he = dd1 (July 2007), dd2 (July 2010), dd3 (August 2012), dd4 (due May 2014) + sil (1997)
27-04-2014 06:21 #4
I had this decision too, although I was deciding between double barrelled and just DPs last name. I had just had a friend who went through a whole mess of trouble over their daughters name when they split, so I wanted to make sure that if it ever did come to that in our family that we would all be happy with the outcome. My man left the decision to me, only condition was his name had to be in there. I decided to just go with DPs last name. Our son will always be his son, and to me the one last name will cause less confusion for him in the future (eg. Getting married with double barrel). Plus DPs last name is much better sounding I did research into this, and just say you and your partner DID split and your babies name was firstname middlename yourlastname hislastname. You can't just 'drop off' the name. Legally unless the father signs to say its ok he will have to go by that name on all documents until the child changes it to whatever he/she wishes.
I suggest do your research, I don't regret my decision one bit. I plan on marrying my man one day so there is no reason why I shouldn't have given the one last name. Your situation may be different and I think when you come to writing it down you will just know what is best for your family. Good luck!
mother to a beautiful baby boy
27-04-2014 08:45 #5
My dd is first name middle name my name hisname. On really official docs such as passport she is all, at school she is first name hisname. While his name is her surname, she likes having my surname in her name and vey proudly talks about it. I also added his name to mine, so she and he have the same surname, but I have a slightly different one. I am glad that my name is in her name.
27-04-2014 09:02 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Sydney NSW
I know a few mums who have given their surname as a second middle name, then their DH's surname as the surname, so it would read for example "Kate Eve Campbell Smith"- name is Kate Smith (with 2 middle names registered). Everyone in the family has the surname Smith as the mum took his surname when they got married, to use an example. I like it!
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27-04-2014 10:59 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
I gave my DD my Surname as her middle name and DH and her share the same Surname. I didn't change my Surname for professional reasons and also because I just really didn't want to change my name, it felt like changing my identity and I couldn't do it. I'm glad DD has my Surname in her name; I wanted her to have her Dad's Surname as she is his daughter but I also really wanted to share a name with her and now we do.
27-04-2014 13:30 #8
I gave ds my last name and when df and I get married next year we will be changing ds's last name as well as mine.
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27-04-2014 13:46 #9
Thanks all for your thoughts, there's been a few points raised that we hadn't considered yet.
The surname he'll definitely have is mine, so for us it's a choice of having DP's surname as a middle name or as the first half of a double surname. The order is important, as Myname Hisname sounds terrible together!
If we do decide to change names when we get married we'll both change to Hisname Myname, provided we could both keep publishing under our current names.
Hmm any same-sex couples out there? I'm curious what they do in the absence of entrenched gender rules (ie wives and children automatically taking the husband's name)...
27-04-2014 13:52 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Gold Coast
Yes and paperwork is a pain for her. Especially when her uni degree has both but she prefers one.
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