Just interested in experiences, stories opinions etc. I have an acquaintance that I recently found out (with my own eyes) that she is bonking this married man (with kids) she works with, and I was just really shocked.
I am possibly old fashioned or something, but it's not something I've ever been able to bring myself to do, I know it's pretty common though.
How do people rationalise it to themselves? Is it just a case of hormonal overload getting in the way of thought?
Would there be ANY instances where it was OK, and I'm talking about when the other partner has absolutely no idea what is going on.
The whole thing strikes a bum note with me, especially as when I got rid of my ex, people came forward with all sorts of stories about things that had been happening behind my back. I guess I feel for the wife really.
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25-04-2014 05:20 #1
Is it ever OK to have an affair with a Married Man?
Last edited by MilkingMaid; 25-04-2014 at 05:27.
25-04-2014 05:32 #2
No. I can't think of any instance where it's ok
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25-04-2014 05:48 #3
Hmm, let me think for a min-NO!
Not even a man in a relationship, ring or not.
If there is someone out there who considers themselves to be in a mutual relationship with a man, he is out of reach for everyone else.
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25-04-2014 06:05 #4
Personally maybe when I was younger, I haven't (to my knowledge) but I think I wouldn't have cared, now I'm married I have a new sense of respect for the institution, relationships are hard and sometimes people look for what's missing in the wrong places and unfortunately it seems way too easy to find it...
If a married man made a pass at me I'd tell him to go call his wife and ask her how her day was. My husband goes away for work and sometimes at conferences he tells me it's a free fest married or not, he's had married ladies hit on him, it's shameful really.
25-04-2014 06:15 #5
Op I don't think you are old fashion at all I think you have a good moral compass. It's simply not okay.
In my work i see the fall out for men and women whose partners have cheated - it really, really effects them and there self image. Not to mention the affect of the family (the ones I see have separated as a result).
25-04-2014 06:30 #6
I knew someone whose wife became very unwell at the age of 32. They never managed to have children. His wife has lived in a nursing home since the age of 38 and they do not have a conventional marriage (ie no sex or living together, she can barely walk/talk/see these days). It was a dilemma for him as he didn't want to divorce her but he also wanted some intimacy in his life. He would visit her everyday sometimes twice a day and worked hard to provide her with the best care and life's luxuries. The relationship was more of a carer/patient relationship. Anyway he decided to throw himself into his work and pay for sex when he needed to. He never once 'had an affair' because of his marriage vows. I always thought this was admirable.
So no, having an affair with a married man or woman is not ok.
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25-04-2014 06:33 #7
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25-04-2014 06:34 #8
No. Simple as that.
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25-04-2014 06:38 #9
Well, my ex's partner apparently thought it was fine to pursue him when we were expecting DS! And when I found out about them my ex tried to tell me she was a 'good person'.
I tend end to believe it's fine then, due to the fact there's clearly no consequences, based on my experience alone. Except consequences for me that is.
4 years later and I still refuse to meet her. I don't care anymore but I know she is not a good person.
25-04-2014 06:40 #10Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
No. Having been on the other side of it, I just can't understand how the woman could do this when she knew about our marriage and ds. Of course that's not excusing my dh either though!
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