Just wondering how everyone deals with toddler tantrums?
My 22mth old is shocking for them and throws himself on the floor, hits his head on the floor or the wall, hits, scratches, throws things (like my mobile phone) or anything else he can find... we try talk to him and try and give him alternatives, we've tried holding him to stop him hurting himself but it just makes it worse.
I don't give him to him. I try and ignore some of the behaviour. We try and make doing things into a game. I always praise the good behaviour and thank him for doing something... but the reasons for them can vary and it might be something new and different every day or multiple times a day... they've been going on for months now and just seem to be getting worse.
He is actually very intelligent and we spend a lot of time with him learning and having fun with new experiences. But I've just got to the point now that I just let him throw himself on the floor and walk away. and he will go on for ages. then when he stops I will talk to him about it. but while it's happening, I won't intervene anymore. Is that wrong?
He's a fussy eater and it's always a fight at meal times. Bath times have become an issue too.
It's just doing my head in! and I'm feeling more and more stressed about it. I'm also 15 weeks pregnant and due to some health issues, I'm not supposed to lift him, but it's hard sometimes especially when he's behaviour is bad.
DS1 was never like this, I honestly can't remember him every having huge tantrums like this... so people say "you've done it before, this one should be easy"... but it's not because he's a totally different chid!!
Can anyone give me some advice?
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22-04-2014 06:20 #1
22-04-2014 06:56 #2
I wouldn't feel guilty about not engaging with this behaviour, you don't want to encourage it. My DS just turned 2 and he's never been like that (he does have tantrums of course!). It sounds pretty bad, have you spoken to your GP about it? I don't have any experience with it, but it could be a sensory problem or the like. Good luck, and sending you lots of hugs!
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22-04-2014 07:09 #3
I only have an 18 month old, and our tantrums are just starting, but he does do the head banging thing when he's angry or frustrated. Because we have wooden floors I take him to his room which is carpeted and leave him in there until he stops. I'm suspecting DS's tantrums are brought on by the combination of a) lack of language to express himself and b) hunger.
I would do exactly what you're doing already. Except I might stay away and add little calm phrases like 'you're angry because...' or 'I can see you're frustrated because...' I read somewhere, sorry can't remember where, that this acknowledges their feelings to the point where if they can see that even if they are angry you remain calm and open to talking about it, then eventually they start simply telling you how they feel instead of showing it, iykwim?
One thing is I would try very hard to avoid mealtimes being a source of tension. Perhaps some other hubbers have some suggestions there.
Hang in there...
22-04-2014 08:11 #4Junior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2013
Our just turned 2 year old is shocking and has been getting worse for months. (Hitting,throwing,screeching). We also take the ignore it approach then when he has calmed down get on his level and talk to him, our time out chair is being introduced in the next few months. He is also a very poor eater and we also have fights at bath time (not wanting to get out or dressed).
He has always been a very full on child and due to health issues when he was very young we see every specialist under the sun, when I asked about it I keep getting told the same thing he is very smart and if he gets under/over stimulated he will react, he is also a bit behind in his speech so a lot of it is frustration cause he is trying to communicate.
None of our team see concerned and said some kids just throw tantrums others don't. I am due in a few weeks with number 2 so it is a bit concerning but unfortunately I think one of those ride it out things.
Hang in there, I know easier said than done we have days when I swear he wakes up and goes right I'm gonna misbehave so bad mum goes insane lol
22-04-2014 20:00 #5
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