I haven't read Save Our Sleep but in first 5 mths of DD's life I did lots of reading on the net regarding getting her to sleep better, as well as positive stories of how SOS helped. If bub catnapped or if she woke up 1 sleep cycle after bedtime I'd get all in a fluster about what I did wrong, how do I resettle, etc. I tried patting her/patting the mattress/ shushing/singing/cry in arms - all of those methods drive me batty. In hindsight I wish I had just chilled out about it.
Against all the books we have a late bedtime - she goes to sleep when we do and that helps me get the most sleep as I sleep when she does. I've sidecarred the cot so when she wakes up at night it's easy to deal with her - I'd certainly lose my marbles having to go to another room. Mostly she wakes once or twice, occasionally she sleeps through. It is completely unpredictable whether she'll have a good sleep or a cranky catnap. Of course I don't have a toddler to deal with as well and can sleep in, so that perspective may not be helpful to SAgirl. I think trying not to stress about DD's sleep has made my life better.
(I say as I write this as she's fed to sleep for her nap next to me - perfect time for Bubhub).
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21-04-2014 17:31 #41
Last edited by Piyamj; 21-04-2014 at 17:36.
21-04-2014 17:47 #42
I used it with my first daughter out of desperation from 6 weeks-10 weeks.
In saying that I only took a few bits from it
-expected amount of sleep
- how to do "hands on settling" ( we never left our daughter to cry but patted her to sleep)
I knew the feeding and strict routines were ridiculous and fed on demand. I never read it past the 12 week guides.
Hands on settling worked for my daughter because was very colicy in the beginning and she hated co-sleeping and being cuddled/rocked to sleep . It gave us "something" to do to get her too sleep.
We were rocking her in the pram all night trying to get her to sleep weeks 2-6. Like seriously all night.
By 10 weeks she was an amazing sleeper and has been since. I gave up in the patting to sleep business and just fed her to sleep from 10 weeks. She had an upper lip tie so I believed once her mouth grew her colic behavior settled an we happened to be lucky in that she stared sleeping 11-12 hours a night straight.
in saying that I regret doing it and feel it made me so stressed and I hated patting her to sleep. She fell into self settling on her own around 7 months despite being fed to sleep from 10 weeks. That book made me feel so guilty for feeding to sleep like I was doing my baby a diservice by doing what was biologically normal! It stole some of the joy from early parenthood.
I won't use it again. And I feel terrible for ever having done it. Even though I consider ours a gentler method as I never left her to cry and always just sat with her patting her gentle till she fell asleep, I knew in my heart it was wrong
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21-04-2014 17:50 #43
As a first time mum, I liked that is gave you an idea of how many naps and for how long baby 'should' be having each day. Not many other baby books I found gave me much of an idea. But the rest of it was too strict for us to stick to, I found a baby led routine better.
oh, and although we did do responsive settling down the track we didn't do it the way described in SOS - too harsh for young babies in my opinion.
21-04-2014 17:58 #44
I have read it. I use the routines as a rough guide and find I am much happier when my kids follow a (flexible) routine. Her self-settling advice is horrible and nothing I would ever consider doing
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21-04-2014 17:58 #45
I can't remember exactly as I read it but didn't follow it as to what you do in the middle of the night, but you can still feed them at night.
What I do remember and can say is it does not use CIO in the sense of cry for hours on end, but sets small intervals to leave bub before you go in, but once in, you can feed, rock, pat bub to sleep. From birth its only 3 minutes, but there's a lot ,more to it than just that. The schedules and pre sleep,routines are used in conjunction with that.
21-04-2014 17:59 #46
My DD has been a great sleeper and eater since the beginning and has mostly slept through since 8 weeks. I read the book when she was about 10 weeks (just for interest) and discovered that I had been doing everything wrong.
It scares me that people might read this book, have a baby that doesn't fit this unrealistic ideal and then beat themselves up about being a bad parent. When in fact it is just a story written without any science and a lot of ancedotes.
21-04-2014 18:01 #47
(Pasted from the Save Our Sleep website) :
***Baby Sleep and Feeding Routines for a Contented Baby
Save Our Sleep™ will help you establish good sleeping and feeding habits for your baby or young child. We will also help you solve your babies sleep problems by guiding you in how to teach your baby to sleep without the help of an aid such as a dummy, pacifier, soother, rocking or even music. Save Our Sleep™ does not use or recommend controlled crying or controlled comforting.***
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21-04-2014 18:07 #48
Sorry but I think Tizzie saying it's not controlled crying is dishonest and cons parents into thinking it's ok. To me her methods are definitely controlled crying - perhaps slightly different to the Ferber method but basically the same philosophy.
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21-04-2014 18:09 #49
21-04-2014 18:12 #50
With the protest crying, I actually call it grizzling as I don't think it's crying at all. Both girls grizzle/d as a way to wind down for sleep. That is when I will pat and 'shh shh'.
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