VicPark - how would you suggest to get an 11 month old to sleep for longer and/or self settle when they:
- burst into hysterical tears the moment they are put down (awake or even if they are actually asleep) and do not have contact with mum or dad?
- wake during the night they are fully awake and cries until they are fed or up with their dad being 'walked' around the house (baby is fully alert). When they are fed it is not comfort feeding, it's full on, I wanna feed feeding.
On what grounds are you saying that frequent waking is 'not normal'?
My DD slept through the night 5 times until she was 2. Things got a lot better but she still often doesn't sleep through the night and wakes for a cuddle, blankets, drink etc probably 50% of the nights (she is 3 years 4 months). As a newborn and infant her day sleeps would often consist of 2 x 15 minute naps, she was just a wakeful baby. She is now proving to be a very alert, switched on, and confident girl.
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23-04-2014 08:51 #301
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23-04-2014 09:09 #302
Btw VP and Alliepallie - in my family it's the norm for kids to be TT by 1-1.5yr old. I would hate it if my two were considered abnormal or had a medical condition as they were only TT by 18-20mths old. There is a wide range of normal.... Calling other children abnormal is completely unhelpful. If I called your son or daughter abnormal as they isn't night TT by 2yo wouldn't you be taken aback?
Btw I do know kids TT at different stages of life for various reasons.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
23-04-2014 09:10 #303
[QUOTE=VicPark;7747274]Quick snap poll: all the ladies on this thread:
A) do you follow SOS
B) how old are your kids and do they sleep through?
No. I don't. I don't have a 'style' but use a combo of co-sleeping/baby whisperer that kind of thing. It has been different for each kid.
DS1 - slept through from 4 weeks. Started waking more at 6 months but he had health issues.
DS2 - from 12 months but still wakes 3/7 nights at 3.
DS3 - is 16 months and hasn't slept through yet.
23-04-2014 09:22 #304-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Sorry but we're going to have to agree to disagree.
23-04-2014 09:27 #305
23-04-2014 09:28 #306
Colour me ridiculous then
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23-04-2014 09:28 #307
Do you know what VP? I've ticked all your boxes. I've said SOS is simply not for me. I've read the book - more than once in fact. I've advised OP to read it and see how she feels. I haven't used 'overly emotive' words that hinder discussion. My only comments have been that it is not based on any empirical scientific fact and a general wondering about why the book is so open to being misinterpreted. Which is a fair question.
You have stated that it is most likely my fault (or someone like me) that my 18 month old is a terrible sleeper, but I'm unlikely to acknowledge that as I wouldn't generally be the self-reflective type. Now you're telling me that my child is not normal. So which is it - me as a sh!thouse parent or my poor abnormal kid?
I have been on the verge of serious mental breakdown because of my son's sleep. Repeatedly. I'm there again. I thought of you last night at midnight when my screaming, teething son was doing my head in. I hated myself for not being 'strong' enough for trying SOS. I have spent 18 months reflecting on all of my failures as a parent. I am not 'an idiot' that doesn't know how to read a book. If I did try SOS and it doesn't work for my son, that's just the way it is. I wouldn't blame the book, as it clearly works for some people. Nor would I blame my son. It just isn't a match.
I crave structure and routine in my personal life, and throwing that out of the window for my child is one of the hardest things I've ever done, and a massive sacrifice. Yes, it's my choice. I haven't once put you down for yours. I work extremely hard to say things in a diplomatic way.
And yes, I'm genuinely glad for you that you don't go through what I go through. Just be careful what you say, because your words can be just as damaging as anyone else's here. Don't bring normal into it please.
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23-04-2014 09:36 #308-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
- rule out medical issues
- introduce a comforter with mums smell on it. Use it at every sleep.
- look at day naps. How many naps is bub having? Ready to drop to 1? Napping for too long?
- double check the temperature and bedding in bubs room. A gro-bag and thermostats controlled heater is the easiest (I've found).
- up solids, in particular protein/meat before bed time. If you need to cut back in milk drinks a little then so be it.
- once the above is done slowly wean off the night bottle (cut back the amount a bit each night)
- get rid of negative sleep aids (dummy, patting/rocking to sleep etc). With an older child you might want to try a slow wean.
- move bub to a room that is furthest away from noise. Even if it's the study.
- get blockout blinds.
- treat all night wakings as night time (no noise, low lights, no talking)
- don't go to bub at the first grizzle. Sometimes bub might grizzle in their sleep and going in actually wakes them up
- slowly introduce bub to different people (family members, playgroup etc)
- be prepared for new changes to take a week or so to start working: don't give up right away.
Last edited by VicPark; 23-04-2014 at 09:44.
23-04-2014 09:37 #309Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2014
We are talking about babies aren't we?
Normal??? What is normal???
Sleep issues are like personalities they are many and varied.
It's not normal for a baby to wake every 2 hours and it's not normal for a baby to sleep all night.
Babies have a range of sleep habits and there are so many variables.. It is rarely sh!tty parenting ...
Mums going through sleep issues are so fragile...
But please know that in all my years as a mum... My kids have never been normal sleepers as there ain't no such thing
You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
23-04-2014 09:39 #310
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