I have been with my DH since we were 18, 13 years now, and I find our relationship goes through phases. Every relationship ebbs and flows. Sometimes we are madly in love, other times we go through a tough phase and bicker and fight. We never stop loving each other even though we may not be in love at times.
Been tired as well really skews your thinking making it hard to feel romantic or attracted to anyone when you are just grinding through the day. I think you need a break!
I believe you owe it to yourself and your partner, especially with kids involved, to try and make it work. Relationships are hard work. You need to have a good chat to him, and find out how he is feeling too. Personally I don't think the text was rude, it sounded to me like he is really unhappy, and doesn't know how to speak to you.
Maybe counselling would help. But communicating with each other is the essential start. Some time alone to rediscover why you were attracted to each other in the first place.
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16-04-2014 20:07 #11
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 16-04-2014 at 20:10.
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16-04-2014 20:07 #12
I love my husband, I just don't like him very much. He's a great dad and good provider but he's selfish and unkind and I don't enjoy his company outside hanging as a family... I just hope I start to like him again one day soon. I think he knows I don't like him
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16-04-2014 20:22 #13
You deserve better.
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16-04-2014 20:24 #14
Have you talked to him about the text since he got home? I think it's very rude. He could have just said "hey, thanks for making my lunch, but I'm going to buy it from now on as I want a bit more variety" or similar. What he wrote was just plain rude. Even if he is desperately unhappy too, what he wrote was disrespectful and nasty if you ask me.
Have a talk. I know when I've been feeling that things aren't good, a talk can help clear the air. No matter what the outcome.
17-04-2014 19:05 #15
Hugs OP. It sounds like you two have let your relationship go to the bottom of the priority list. If you want to work on it, I suggest counseling, date nights, and quality time together and some honest and open talks about what you both really want and need from the other person- but politely and kindly like you'd talk to a colleague. It's easy to get emotional and get into a slanging match. I hope you get whatever it is you want.
17-04-2014 23:17 #16
That's disgraceful! And so disrespectful. If I was feeling sassy I would reply "no problem hun, make your own f*cking lunch from now on". If I wasn't feeling sassy I would probably curl up in a corner and cry
Dh & I have been together for 12 years. Things now are not like they used to be in the early years (who can sustain that? ) but he would never ever talk to me like that. It doesn't matter if you're lovers, partners, spouses or friends, you deserve more respect than that.
Avarose, what do YOU want? Do you really feel you don't love him anymore? Do you think if you told him how you feel about this text, he would take it on board and see your point of view?
18-04-2014 00:04 #17
DH and I met when we were 19 - been together for more than 20 years now. Yes that 'in love' desperate need to be together every waking minute passes ... but we have developed into friends and lovers and supporting each other.
He would not expect me to get up and make his breakfast - or pack his lunch. And if I did, he would be damn grateful !! If he didnt want it, a friendly "dont worry about it, I will buy my lunch babe" would be it. Certainly a text like that is not ok.
As to what to do - a long talk is a good start. Talk about where you both are ... where you want to be in the future. Plan some time together with just you - where you can learn to like each other again. Where you can get a little romance and friendship and humour back into your relationship.
22-04-2014 23:27 #18
How are you OP?
23-04-2014 00:53 #19
Geez it's sad to read that so many of you are unhappy and just accept it. Life's to short to be together for kids or just because!!
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