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  1. #11
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    I have been with my DH since we were 18, 13 years now, and I find our relationship goes through phases. Every relationship ebbs and flows. Sometimes we are madly in love, other times we go through a tough phase and bicker and fight. We never stop loving each other even though we may not be in love at times.
    Been tired as well really skews your thinking making it hard to feel romantic or attracted to anyone when you are just grinding through the day. I think you need a break!
    I believe you owe it to yourself and your partner, especially with kids involved, to try and make it work. Relationships are hard work. You need to have a good chat to him, and find out how he is feeling too. Personally I don't think the text was rude, it sounded to me like he is really unhappy, and doesn't know how to speak to you.
    Maybe counselling would help. But communicating with each other is the essential start. Some time alone to rediscover why you were attracted to each other in the first place.
    Good luck.
    Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 16-04-2014 at 20:10.

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    MiloMel  (17-04-2014)

  3. #12
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    I love my husband, I just don't like him very much. He's a great dad and good provider but he's selfish and unkind and I don't enjoy his company outside hanging as a family... I just hope I start to like him again one day soon. I think he knows I don't like him

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    LiterallyNoOne  (16-04-2014)

  5. #13
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by avarose2014 View Post
    I guess im not really all that sure what the problem is. Maybe its just that we have grown apart after so many years or that we were so young when we got married and have changed. I have noticed that he doesnt treat me the way he used to...it seems hes alway on the phone or working. I resent him because im left to the parenting side, every little thing is done by me. I am up at 5am to pack his lunch and make breakfast and then i get a message from him at 9:30am saying "im sorry mate but please dont worry about packing my lunch anymore im sick of cheese sangers and f*cking cupcakes i dont even like cupcakes and dry f*cking biscuts" it just shocked me. I wonder how we ended up like this...it makes me sad
    Sorry no advice, just wanted to say that no one should be spoken to like that, especially by their "husband". That text is demeaning, rude and just disgusting. I know you haven't asked for pity, but I felt so sorry for you reading that. How dare he? Tell him to make his own bloody lunch. You kindly get up before dawn to make his lunch and what thanks do you get?
    You deserve better.

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  6. #14
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    Have you talked to him about the text since he got home? I think it's very rude. He could have just said "hey, thanks for making my lunch, but I'm going to buy it from now on as I want a bit more variety" or similar. What he wrote was just plain rude. Even if he is desperately unhappy too, what he wrote was disrespectful and nasty if you ask me.

    Have a talk. I know when I've been feeling that things aren't good, a talk can help clear the air. No matter what the outcome.

  7. #15
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    Hugs OP. It sounds like you two have let your relationship go to the bottom of the priority list. If you want to work on it, I suggest counseling, date nights, and quality time together and some honest and open talks about what you both really want and need from the other person- but politely and kindly like you'd talk to a colleague. It's easy to get emotional and get into a slanging match. I hope you get whatever it is you want.

  8. #16
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    That's disgraceful! And so disrespectful. If I was feeling sassy I would reply "no problem hun, make your own f*cking lunch from now on". If I wasn't feeling sassy I would probably curl up in a corner and cry

    Dh & I have been together for 12 years. Things now are not like they used to be in the early years (who can sustain that? ) but he would never ever talk to me like that. It doesn't matter if you're lovers, partners, spouses or friends, you deserve more respect than that.

    Avarose, what do YOU want? Do you really feel you don't love him anymore? Do you think if you told him how you feel about this text, he would take it on board and see your point of view?

  9. #17
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    BH-KatiesMum is offline Community Manager
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    wow.

    DH and I met when we were 19 - been together for more than 20 years now. Yes that 'in love' desperate need to be together every waking minute passes ... but we have developed into friends and lovers and supporting each other.

    He would not expect me to get up and make his breakfast - or pack his lunch. And if I did, he would be damn grateful !! If he didnt want it, a friendly "dont worry about it, I will buy my lunch babe" would be it. Certainly a text like that is not ok.



    As to what to do - a long talk is a good start. Talk about where you both are ... where you want to be in the future. Plan some time together with just you - where you can learn to like each other again. Where you can get a little romance and friendship and humour back into your relationship.

  10. #18
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    How are you OP?

  11. #19
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    Geez it's sad to read that so many of you are unhappy and just accept it. Life's to short to be together for kids or just because!!


 

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