Recent threads have reminded me about the dangers of coldsores and young babies. I get them and have been super diligent with things like hand washing and kissing my new baby but I hadn't thought much about relatives until a recent thread.
So my parents arrive next week to meet DS (9 weeks) and they both get coldsores regularly. I mentioned in an email, friendly and casually that I'd appreciate if when they are cuddling him that they not kiss him since they carry the virus and regularly get them. They flipped it, told me I am being hurtful and over the top.
If you're going to take the stance that people don't kiss your baby, especially if you know they get coldsores, should grandparents be exempt?
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16-04-2014 05:07 #1
Coldsores, babies and grandparents
16-04-2014 05:31 #2
Hell no. If your bubba gets the virus from them I would be livid. It's very dangerous and it's like them refusing to vaccinate. I wouldn't allow a visit full stop. Babies don't have a voice, they don't ask to be kissed, they can't speak and mummy you are their voice. Tell your mum and dad you are passionate about preventing this and you need them on board. Tell them and show them while they are there that you are in the same boat and they need to do as you do. Stand up for yourself and your baby.
16-04-2014 06:46 #3
I hurt my mums feelings by asking the same thing when my kids were babies. I get that its offensive but sometimes you have to do whats best even though it hurts and embarrasses others by asking. After all herpes virus can be deadly to newborns.
no grandparents shouldn't be exempt.
16-04-2014 08:03 #4
I get coldsores and so does my mum. Hers are a lot more regular than mine but when she has them she knows not to kiss bubs etc as they are very contagious.
I dont think anyone should take offence or be hurt when someone asks them not to be all smoochy with a baby when they have an obvious coldsore, its also common sense really.
I dont think anyone with a coldsore should be exempt, not even family. So I dont think you are over reacting, id be so upset if any of my kids got coldsores. They are horrible
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16-04-2014 08:11 #5
My mum gets them frequently but knows better not to kiss DD.
I think what you did was the right thing. Last thing you want is bub's getting it.
16-04-2014 08:15 #6
I didn't realize how dangerous they were for babies? Only my inlaws have coldsores and they wouldn't kiss my dd2 if they had them.
16-04-2014 08:48 #7
I'll go against the grain here and think it is over the top to ask them not to kiss the baby if they don't have a cold sore even though they carry the virus. It would be quite hard for a grandparent not to be allowed to kiss their grand child. If they have one, of course then no kissing and regular hand washing is a must.
16-04-2014 08:50 #8
I'd rather risk offending someone than let them risk giving my baby herpes.
I don't think anyone except for parents should be kissing a newborn baby anyway. Their immune systems are fragile and they don't need to be exposed to other people's germy saliva.
Being allowed to cuddle the baby is enough - kissing them as well is completely unnecessary.
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16-04-2014 09:07 #9
I would just tell them your midwife or someone strongly suggested it and she is the one who pointed out the risks due to recent cases then show them that article someone posted in the other thread. Tell them things have changed these days and the doctors are more aware of what hurts/kills our babies.
Tell them because of what you have read and heard you are saying it to everyone.
Anyway I don't care who I offend anymore they can all get stuffed inlaws parents family friends it's my baby's LIFE!!!
16-04-2014 09:15 #10Senior Member
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