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  1. #11
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    Put the shoe on the other foot- would you ask/make him to do something he would be morally opposed to? AND would he do it?

    If he knows how strongly you feel about this and insists you do it anyway that would be a certain deal breaker for me.

    Is it something you can both compromise on? Like if he wants you to do xyz but you agree to only do xy?

    Why is it so important to him? Why does it mean more to him than you and the kids?

  2. #12
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    I know for sure that i will be having this conversation and im prepared for what ever comes including leaving.

    It not financial, not about the money that issue would be very easy to resolve.

    I can't really figure out why it is so important, i can only think he gets a kick out of it. Reasons i have been provided contradict everything else going on. The main one that he talks about a lot is that he believes im selfish and wants to know and see that i would have his back. (mind you the selfishness in our relationship is basically that when he says jump, i don't just do it or ask how high), but on some days he said he doesn't know why its so important to him, but it just is.

    Took me a while to realise he had found my weakest spot and used it against me in this situation.

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helptalking View Post
    I know for sure that i will be having this conversation and im prepared for what ever comes including leaving.

    It not financial, not about the money that issue would be very easy to resolve.

    I can't really figure out why it is so important, i can only think he gets a kick out of it. Reasons i have been provided contradict everything else going on. The main one that he talks about a lot is that he believes im selfish and wants to know and see that i would have his back. (mind you the selfishness in our relationship is basically that when he says jump, i don't just do it or ask how high), but on some days he said he doesn't know why its so important to him, but it just is.

    Took me a while to realise he had found my weakest spot and used it against me in this situation.
    Wow, thats really horrible of him to do that to you. I'd be having a convo with him about it and tell him that if he has any respect for you that he will just have to suck it up that you arent doing it any more, especially if your worried its illegal! Don't get yourself into trouble with the law to make him happy, it'll only backfire on you .

  5. #14
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    If you don't want to do it, don't. Say no. If he calls you selfish, so what. Laugh at him. I know in a way I am simplifying things however I think in a way you are making the issue over complicated.

    Best of luck with your plan to move on..

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  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helptalking View Post
    I know for sure that i will be having this conversation and im prepared for what ever comes including leaving.

    It not financial, not about the money that issue would be very easy to resolve.

    I can't really figure out why it is so important, i can only think he gets a kick out of it. Reasons i have been provided contradict everything else going on. The main one that he talks about a lot is that he believes im selfish and wants to know and see that i would have his back. (mind you the selfishness in our relationship is basically that when he says jump, i don't just do it or ask how high), but on some days he said he doesn't know why its so important to him, but it just is.

    Took me a while to realise he had found my weakest spot and used it against me in this situation.
    What ever it is, your clearly not comfortable doing it. An you shouldn't be guilted into anything by him. That's HIM being selfish. He is asking you to do something against your morals (not to the illegal side of things) and ignoring how you feel about it because he wants to know you got home back? What about him having yours?

    I hop things work out for you and if you leave things go smoothly.
    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helptalking View Post

    Took me a while to realise he had found my weakest spot and used it against me in this situation.
    This is not ok, this is not what a loving partner does.

    Making you do something you don't want to do 'just to see if you've got his back' is disgusting, degrading and abusive.

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  10. #17
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    I would find out more about whether its illegal and if it is and he keeps making you do it then that is definitely a big problem. Surely if he loves you he wouldn't be putting you or the kids at risk.


 

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