I was dumb founded! Completely shocked and lost for words. It was a small gathering and I had felt ok offering a cuddle and would have never expected that! I now feel uncomfortable to let people that are not family or close friend hold him and will avoid being put in this situation again.
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13-04-2014 21:49 #21
13-04-2014 21:54 #22
OP that person crossed the line by a long shot. You are 100% not over reacting...
At first i was shocked you even let someone you don't know hold your baby... but then i remembered how I was when i was just a new first time mum. I recall making the same mistake at a friends BBQ.... thankfully they just cuddled DS though and didn't do anything as disgusting as that person did.
Don't beat yourself up. Just take it as a learning curve. The first few months of being a new mum can be tough as it can take a little while for us to feel like ourselves again. I let a lot of people get away with saying things to me that I normally wouldn't when i was a new mum and DS was only a couple months old. Do i put up with any of that **** now though? Absolutely not!! I took every mistake i made as a serious lesson. If you only let that happen once, then you're doing pretty damn good!
All i can say is, do not doubt yourself. You are a mother now.. a mumma bear! What your instinct tells you is correct.
I still kick myself for letting a girl i don't know that well come over for a visit when DS was only about 2-3 months old.... she brought her 4 year old daughter over. That was all fine until this 'acquaintance' asked to hold DS as she was pregnant and wanted to get used to holding a baby again, and as son as i handed him over she handed him straight to her 4 year old daughter and didn't even ask me if it was ok. Did i say anything? Nope i stood there all worried and shocked.... I didn't know what to do it happened so fast! Then her daughter almost dropped my DS and that's when i lunged forward and took him from her... the mother then said "Oh its ok she needs to get used to holding babies. Here lets get her to sit down" and i almost handed him back over again but then i finally found my voice and said no i wasn't very comfortable with that.
I still cringe and kick myself to this day though for even allowing her to hand DS over without asking me. I think, what if she dropped him and he broke his neck? While i stood there like a stale bottle of p!ss?
So you're not alone. Don't beat yourself up, just take it as a lesson on how ridiculous people are and to not trust them! lol
Last edited by Serenity Love; 13-04-2014 at 21:57.
13-04-2014 21:56 #23
I had a mate of DH's mate hold my bub at about that age. He was pining over his own baby who he only gets to see at access visits and I felt bad, plus DH's (now-exmate - thank F) mate was in his ear about me being uptight and such a bish since we'd had the baby (um, sleep deprived me? a bish? nooo), so despite my better judgement I let him have a hold. Next thing I know he's letting her suck on his finger. He stank like a bum, I do not exagerate, cigarette smoke and stale urine. Ew, Ew, Ew!!! Don't feel bad. DD is 6 now and she survived it even if it scarred me for life!
13-04-2014 22:18 #24
I had offered my friend a hold of the baby but then she have her to the kids to hold! I was absolutely horrified. I had a CS and I just lay in the bed like a stunned mullet. I didn't want them touching my baby but didn't know what to say. So I said nothing. I was so relieved when they finally left and cried.
I beat myself up about not saying anything. As my sister said "the baby doesn't have a voice so you have to be its voice". I get in your situation it had already happened, but don't be afraid to speak up in future.
When I went to my ob when DD2 was 10 days old I offered the receptionists a hold as I had seen them so often I was friendly with them. All good, they then handed her back and I took a seat. I overheard them talking about one of their DILs being pregnant and telling people they had to have the whooping cough vaccination. They said it was an overreaction and didn't want to get it. I had assumed working in an obstetricians office they would have had it. I was mortified I had let them hold DD. Thankfully she didn't get sick but I learnt a valuable lesson.
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13-04-2014 22:21 #25
Definitely wasn't acceptable!
14-04-2014 09:36 #26Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I get the ****s with people who think it's ok to put DS's hands in their mouth or their hands in his mouth, and he's 10 months old now. If I had seen someone do it when he was that little I would have said something. If they had sucked their own finger first I would have lost it.
I bit my tongue about people kissing him but that would have made me see red.
29-04-2014 21:42 #27
Gross! You should march up to her, lick your finger and stick it in her mouth! Why would she think that is in anyway acceptable?! 😝
29-04-2014 21:53 #28
No way!!! That is so far over the line it's not funny. Not usually a person who likes conflict but I would have created a bit of conflict had that been me!
29-04-2014 21:57 #29
Nope not ok!!!! Who does that???
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29-04-2014 22:31 #30
Was she old? I think older generation might feel it's a more acceptable thing to do?
I had a mid wife doing it too but she didn't lick her own finger first. She was wearing a glove, she was checking if the baby was sucking properly. And another time a mid wife done it to my other baby checking if she wanted a dummy to suck on.
And someone mentioned an Asian culture thing? No it's not.
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