I'm a little bummed DD's grandparents don't seem interested in sharing her 2nd birthday party with her.
We had a small dinner at home on her actual bday but tomorrow is her big party and MIL took off interstate (last min thing no real reason) and FIL has now commented 3 times how he doesn't really want to come because there's going to be lots of babies/toddlers (well duh it's a 2 year old's party)
Im not usually the type of person who cares about this stuff... but I just keep thinking that if I had a grandchild I would want to be there, or am I kidding myself?
It's just another confirmation that MIL really doesn't give a toss about her only grand kids and DH is totally furious, I'm just disappointed, we don't have lots of family around and she's such a lost cause meh no point really just wondering if I am overreacting
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12-04-2014 22:24 #1
Bday party and in laws...
12-04-2014 22:31 #2
I would be upset if my kid's grandparents didn't want to come to their birthday. They don't have to play or even talk to the other kids, they are their for your son.
Even when we don't have a birthday party for DS we have to find time for the grandparents to see him because they ask to.
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13-04-2014 01:46 #3
My inlaws whole fMily think im over reacting to dds well screw them. Hubby brushes it off like oh well who cares enjoy day ummmm ok. Its our family your daughter loves them yet wont see them. She yells out nanna. My mum says donf pay for free loaders which is true. They didnt do anything for xmas for my dd I tried not to overreact then. They got a joint pillow pet mil & sil and they arent exactly poor!!!!
I know its the thought etc but im very upset after no effort durimg pregnancy etc. I would say something to thwm and hope they make effo for u x
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13-04-2014 02:56 #4
I wouldnt be impressed either, how sad if they miss these milestones. However I would focus your time and energy on surrounding her with those family members who really want to be part of her life. Let her feel their love x
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13-04-2014 06:16 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
My IL's are much the same. They don't really understand kids alot of the time. When DS was younger they tried to force him to cuddle them as soon as they arrived. It took me a long time to get through to them to back off and let him warm up first and then he would interact with them.
For his first Christmas they gave us $30 for us to buy him something. For his 1st birthday they again just gave us money and took something we had bought in the toy sales earlier in the year.
2nd Christmas mil did actually buy him presents herself, but I still had to give her a list of ideas. It's like if you actually took an interest in your first, and potentially only, grandchild you could figure it out yourself. It's not like we have other children so have everything from previous kids.
Oops, sorry kind of had my own little vent there.
To answer op, I would be annoyed too, but if that's how they normally are it's probably something you're just going to have to accept. Easier said than done I know.
13-04-2014 07:11 #6
I think it bothers me more than it should (usually I wouldn't care) because they are the only family we have close everyone else in overseas or interstate and I just think it's a real shame, and I think they're delusional if they think that they'll form a close bond later on when they're bigger and I suppose easier to handle because that kind of bond is formed now. It's so awkward to see mil around DD who's 2 and talks a bit but not very clearly she just has no clue... Makes me sad.
I am thankful my SILs are great but they are teens and are busy with their own lifes but they are around a bit and honestly they know my kids more than MIL and FIL!
13-04-2014 07:26 #7
If it was simply just not wanting to attend the birthday party I would probably not be too worried as long as they had been at the dinner, growing up my dh didn't have birthday parties very often(1st and maybe 5 i think then one as a teen) so I'm sure when I said we were having cake and morning tea at the park for her second they may have been surprised - but just with us, our parents and siblings there is 17 so I figure that's almost a party anyway and we get them all done at once. And we invited all the friends who wanted to see her too.
But from what you're saying they're clearly not encouraging the relationship with their grandchild and you're right if they don't nurture it now it won't develop later on its own.
13-04-2014 07:48 #8
Geez that's rude!! You're not overreacting IMO. They're grandparents and should make an effort for your child.
I'd be devastated for my DS if his grandparents, either side, didn't make an effort.
My (x)MIL lives away and doesn't drive plus my DS' birthday is close to Christmas that I'm fine (and understand) that she waits until we see her for Christmas celebrations. But at least she has in the past tried.
13-04-2014 07:52 #9
@ciaomamma shall I bring my mother to your party? She loves kids and would definitely dress up too.
I'm sorry that your in laws are a bit stupid.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
13-04-2014 08:10 #10
I can understand why you're a little disappointed, but you may be overreacting slightly. If your inlaws celebrated her actual birthday with her, then I think thats good. They won't get to spend any quality time with their granddaughter during the party, and she will be too busy with the other guests to notice they're not there.
As DS's birthday is on Easter Monday this year, we will see my inlaws in Wagga on his actual birthday, but they are not travelling 3-5 hours to come for his party in Sydney the following weekend, and I think that is more than reasonable. None of DS's grandparents, aunts or uncles live within 3 hours of us.
I hope your daughter has a great party
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