Don't let her games control you, you sound like a intelligent woman stand up to her and don't back down, it's your life and you deserve to be happy!
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08-04-2014 12:46 #21
08-04-2014 12:56 #22
@Legeyt That's her to a T. I googled narcissists a while back to try and get some sort of understanding to my mothers behavior. She expects full attention and participation when she has something to say about things in my life, or when she wants to have a ***** about my DH. But she never returns it. She shuts down and is very cold. I don't know how she does it, i would feel terrible doing that to my kids. She really does have the ability to only think of herself.
She recently got back from holidaying with my Uncle who for a wedding gift gave DH and i a broken spa that he couldn't be bothered smashing up to dispose of himself, so him and my mother conspired to dump it on us for DH to have to smash up with an ax and dispose of. Of course they led us to believe it was a fully functional spa my uncle just no longer wanted, they deliberately neglected to inform us it had a leak around all the electrical connections and after filling it up and having it looked at by a pro because all the water was leaked out by the following day .. we were warned to no use the spa, it was not fixable where the damage was and there is a high chance of being electrocuted.
My mother denies it to this day and coldly tells me to get over it when i questioned her after she got back from her holiday and was text messaging me while she was away, boasting about her wonderful time away.....
I have barely spoken to her since then tbh. She is so cold and refuses to see it from my side. She is 100% on her brothers side because she believes he would put her before his kids too - they were her words to DH a while ago.
Ugh its all a mess. Thats just a snippit.
08-04-2014 13:02 #23
Im just gonna chill and go with the flow. Im probably over thinking it.
08-04-2014 13:06 #24
@Blessed Be either way you go about it hun it sounds like she is going to kick up. Just do what is best for you and your family. You are obviously going to have to deal with some bull crap but just ignore her and stay focused. Once you move away think of the peace you should have. Besides it's only a 40min drive. Lucky you aren't moving to the other side of the world lol. All the best with
08-04-2014 13:10 #25
I would tell her when you handed back the 10k she lent you and not a second sooner.
08-04-2014 13:30 #26
I would probably look at paying her back the $10k first before selling & buying a new place. I know that might put your plans back for a while but that's what I'd do if I didn't think it would be possible to pay her back with the proceeds of the sale. However I know how keen you must be to move after that whole fiasco with your nutbag neighbour.
So, if you're not going to pay the money back, I'd suggest continuing with your plans to move and don't hide it from her - don't go out of your way to tell her or discuss it with her, but don't hide it in normal conversation if that makes sense. If she has a fit when she finds out, just don't engage. State firmly that the decision is made and that's it. If she brings up the money, thank her for her help and say you really appreciate it as it helped get you on that first rung of the property ladder but now it's time to move on.
Good luck, I hope you find the perfect house and have lovely non-crazy neighbours!
08-04-2014 13:31 #27
Considering she gave your sister 10k as well I would assume you don't need to pay her back. I would tell her once everything has been confirmed... New house, moving date, sale of your house etc. Then it's just tough luck, she will kick up a drink regardless.
I've followed your story with crazy neighbour and I think your main priority is getting as far away from her as possible, your mum can deal with her own pointless tantrum herself.
08-04-2014 13:55 #28
She will know once you've put the house on the market surely so just tell her exactly what you plan on doing and that you are doing it for the benefit and well being on your family. That's it don't allow her to bully you or make it about her, if she brings up anything to do with herself just throw it back at her and make her realise it's her being selfish and that it's nothing to do with her. Good luck x
08-04-2014 14:30 #29
she'll know when theres a 'for sale' sign out the front of your house.
08-04-2014 14:35 #30
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