You do what's best!!
This has been a good read for me as it affirms I need to focus more on DD and DH and I!!
I have my parents, my MIL , my FIL ( separated) and grandmother in law wanting to visit every weekend. My DD is 22 months so older but the whole weekend is taken up by visitors or going out to meet them.
I also think it depends on the relationship you have with extended family - if they visit and play with your baby it's helpful but coming to visit your baby just for a viewing is not ok ( that's what I get!!) sounds do strange but true! Not sure if anyone else gets this?!
I work part time and also 17 weeks pregnant I need time fir me too ( I keep telling myself that!!)
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07-04-2014 20:05 #41Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2011
07-04-2014 20:08 #42Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
We live a 3hr drive from both sets of grandparents and I would so love to be able to go over every weekend or so for any such company or a break even!!
They won't be around forever. My kids love both grandparents and it's such a special treat for the kids and them to see each other.
Sounds like u need a break from each other though.
07-04-2014 20:10 #43
07-04-2014 20:31 #44
In laws we see once every couple of weeks during the school term but during the school holidays if they are around they help me greatly so I don't have to take so much time at work.
My parents see the kids twice a week as they help with some sporting commitments but it's not quality time as much as the in laws might get.
It pretty much balances out and we have gotten a pretty good understanding with all grandparents that sometimes our family stuff means they go periods without seeing them but it's not personal we just get busy.
07-04-2014 20:37 #45
We're the same - partner works 6 days a week.
Typically I'd say we (DD & I) see my mum once a week and my dad once every couple of weeks (they're together, but my mum will meet us places whilst my dad stays at home... so we only see him if we go to their place. They live about 40 mins away.
We don't see MIL much - maybe once every 3 weeks or so. She says she misses DD, but then never comes around or invites us over. She only makes contact with us if she wants something. She lives about 15 mins away. I'd like to see her more, but either DD or I has been sick for about 6 weeks now, and MIL doesn't want to get sick.
08-04-2014 10:02 #46Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
Thanks everyone. Ver y variedad responses. Hubby And I although love out families we find it stressful when they are here or at their house. We are homebodies and like to do things on our own. Don't feel the need to have parents around us all the time. We see then on our only free time which the don't seem to appreciate and just want more and more. Hubby works a physically demanding job so when he gets home just wants to relax for the two hours before DS bed time not tred about town or have people over. That's the way it's going to be and they will just have to get used to it!
Last edited by maco; 08-04-2014 at 16:53.
08-04-2014 10:37 #47
We go to my in-laws once a week and my mothers once every two weeks, for dinner. We always have, doesn't matter how old are kids were. If they got tired, we just put them to sleep there. I love that I don't have to cook dinner on those nights, and I enjoy catching up with the family. After the amount of time and years I would spend with my children while raising them, I would hate if they didn't want to see me often when they move out of home.
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08-04-2014 11:18 #48
We see both my parents and in laws at least once per week. But they also baby sit DD while I'm at work. My IL's have her on a Friday (at our house) and so they always stay for dinner Friday night. My mum has her Wednesday mornings and we usually see my parents one other time perhaps on the weekend.
But we always do what fits in with DD, I'm not dragging her around and messing up her naps just so she can see grandparents.
On the other hand, I had a really close relationship with my grandparents and still do end I think it is important for DD to have the same.
I think it sounds like not so much the frequency of visits that is the problem but the fact that you are the one doing all the running around, could the grandparents not come to you during the week? Maybe even mind your DS for an hour in the morning or afternoon while you do some shopping or get a coffee?
Sounds like it is a lot on their terms and not working for your family.
08-04-2014 11:20 #49
We see my dad a few times a week. One night a week he comes for dinner and a couple of other times he pops in for half an hour to play with the kids.
We see my ILs about once a month. They live 2 hours away so they either come here or we go there for a night. I love them so I don't mind.
I don't think a dinner once a week or fortnight with family providing you get along and live close by is too much to ask.
08-04-2014 11:25 #50
Ahh probably 4-6 times a year for one set and 2 maybe 3 for the other? Both are interstate. We do Skype weekly with my parents.
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