Just puttin it out there why can't they come to you? My parent drop in two days (usually one morning and one arvo) a week to see our dds.. Dps parent only see them when we go there which is about ever two weeks.
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07-04-2014 13:01 #11Senior Member
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- Mar 2011
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07-04-2014 13:01 #12
We live away from our parents so only see them 2-3 times a year.
My inlaws met my daughter in the hospital after she was born and my Mum spent two weeks with us once we came home. Neither have seen her since but they get daily snapchats / videos emailed.
I'm spending 2 weeks with my Mum in May for her 50th birthday and then in June will spend about a week with my in laws for my MILs 60th birthday. Mum can't make it down at Easter but my inlaws will be here for a week.
I am trying to make it fair as she is her first grandchild on each side so we will all need to compromise.
07-04-2014 13:03 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
My in laws live a plane ride away and we see my parents every weekend sat and sun between us having our own family outings .
If I was a grandma I would want to see my grand kids as much as possible so I see wherr both of u are coming from.
How about ask if your parents want to take the kids one afternoon a week. Then u can also use the time for yourself while dh is at work and your parents get to spend time with the kids without u there..
07-04-2014 13:15 #14
Sometimes it sucks living so far away from family (1500kms) but then i read threads like this and i thank god!
OP, how do you do it? It would drive me to drink more then i already do!
I dont understand why grandparents think that they have 'Rights' that overshadow those of the parents.
Do you think you will get an apology from FIL or is he too stubborn? I think you deserve one. I also think you deserve to have a lazy family day together doing what ever you want - or not even getting out of your PJ's if you want - more often then spending every sunday visiting everyone else!
07-04-2014 13:22 #15
We seem to be the exception here, but I'm also a single parent so I don't know if that has any bearing on what we do. We did pretty much the same thing when I had a partner though.
We see my side of the family throughout the week, probably twice a week and then every other weekend we will see them as well. My ds loves his nanny and aunty time and now that he is at school he really misses everyone, including myself.
I will see my mum often at my sisters when we go there and vice versa. Its just what we do, I enjoy spending time with them and my previous partner enjoyed spending time with my family too (his family lived away and he didn't like them much so he liked feeling part of ours). Until recently we would see my step father every other day and on weekends as the he used the massive shed attached to our old house for his hobbies. My son would love going out there to do "manly things" lol.
DS doesn't see his paternal grandparents very much but again they also live away. I leave it to FOB to organise that side of things. I learnt my lesson very well in that regard.
As a kid I would see my grandmother before and after school as she was our carer and on some weekends just because. My other grandparents lived in a different state, we would travel to them once a year until they died. I guess my family is my village.
All of that aside, I think you need to find something that works for you and your partner first and foremost. If that's splitting the weekends, then that's what you do.
07-04-2014 13:24 #16
My parents see DS maybe once a month, sometimes more, sometimes less. They adore him but mum works nights and her days off are wed and thurs so our schedules rarely match up. Dad is a bit the same- shift work makes it hard to commit to anything. My IL's see us at least once a week. FIL watches DS for me on my half day at work and they have a gorgeous little bond. We often "kidnap" MIL on a Sunday and take her out for brekky or lunch as FIL works and she doesn't get as much quality time as he does with DS. My mum sometimes complains but I just reiterate that she is welcome to come over. They live 45 mins to an hour away and she usually chooses sleep before work instead of a massive drive and I can't really blame her . MIL only complains if it has been a couple of weeks since she saw us (Xmas hols usually) but even then just says she misses us and will invite us to do something.
07-04-2014 13:27 #17
My partner and I are full time studiers, I am home all the time, and DP goes to lectures for a couple of hours each day. My parents send a text asking if its ok to come round, the inlaws just show up whenever. Both come once, maybe twice a week. No complaints as of yet.
mother to a beautiful baby boy
07-04-2014 13:28 #18
We're another family that don't live anywhere near the grandparents.
We see my father and his partner on most long weekends; my mum comes over a few times a year, she has a bad back though and traveling is hard for her, we FaceTime when we can; my FIL comes over when he can, usually when he goes to see his mum who lives a few hours away.
Maybe you should make a weekday grandparents day and have them all come over to dinner. Less traveling for you and it leaves your weekends free for family time
07-04-2014 13:32 #19
07-04-2014 14:22 #20
Both sets of grandparents live about 1800km away. I was starting to think that it is too far away and we should move closer, but after reading this thread I'm quite happy with the distance.
Because we are so far away we probably see the grandparents once every 2-3 months but stay with each set for a few days at a time.
As a pp said, your immediate family is the most important, you don't need to trapise around on your only day together to see them both. Why can't they come to you and just stay for lunch for instance.
What type of family things do you want to do together? If you are clear on what you would rather be doing you can then let the grandparents know in advance that a particular weekend is for you to do xyz and you will see them another day.
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