I was more thinking he's never in the mood bc he's getting his fill from the prostitutes. I've read and heard heaps of people say a drop in libido can be one of the signs (obviously matched with others) of cheating as they are getting it elsewhere so aren't needing it from their partner.
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06-04-2014 17:25 #71
06-04-2014 17:27 #72
I think marriage by definition/purpose implies you can't and won't cheat.
I think people change though, and relationships can easily become unfulfilling, no matter how much you 'love' your spouse. Love can change and passion can be exclusive of love.
Good people can cheat.
I have my own personal thoughts/beliefs regarding marriage and monogamy etc. but I do think that if you decide to marry for monogamous purposes, you can't cheat or the deal is done and the very meaning of marriage no longer exists in your relationship, whether you 'forgive' or not.
06-04-2014 18:55 #73
Not unrealistic at all. Cheating is a deal-breaker for DH & I. Being monogamous is part of being in a committed relationship for us. And we swore to be faithful to each other in our wedding vows - not something either of us take lightly.
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06-04-2014 21:22 #74
06-04-2014 22:57 #75Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
I really feel for you, reading through this and how much you've researched it, I just felt immense sadness for you. It appears that you have been searching and searching for ways to justify your husbands behavior. I don't believe that cheating is acceptable, regardless of how common you think it may be.
The choice to stay is a very personal one and I think it really depends on the individuals and the circumstances.
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06-04-2014 23:18 #76
In the end OP it doesn't matter if it's normal, or common (neither of which I think it is); if you can't accept what happened then that's all that matters. What do you want from your DH, and what can you accept?
For me I accept there are times in my marriage where we don't get on, or where we're just a little bit thoughtless, but I can't be with a person who makes me feel bad about myself. That's my deal breaker. And my DH being unfaithful would do that.
Good luck OP. everyone deserves a bit if happiness.
07-04-2014 00:05 #77Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
There is one man in particular on DP's site who has a wife and 5 kids back home in Brisbane yet has a woman up here that comes to sleep with him at the camp (how bad is that?!) and he goes to her house as well for sex, it makes me sick. I often wonder if any of these guys partners are on the hub, I'd gladly out them all! Filthy filthy grubs!!!!
Of course not all men are bad but I think you'd be surprised the amount that play up. The ones you'd least suspect it from too. I don't trust any man. My dad cheated on my mum after 30 years, it was so unexpected and out of character for dad and that's enough for me to keep my guard up for the rest of my life to every man regardless!!!! I could never say it wouldn't happen to me, I don't want to be that naive.
Last edited by Gracie's Mum; 07-04-2014 at 00:16.
07-04-2014 05:01 #78
07-04-2014 05:04 #79
07-04-2014 05:12 #80
Thank you for sharing @Graciesmum. Since all this has happened I am more inclined to think most men would cheat given the chance, more inclined to think most men do not value fidelity or the sacredness of commitment to one person. I feel as though I am a complete sceptic now- looking at every attached man I meet and thinking "you probably would, you rat".
I'm actually scared this thing is taking up too much of my attention. Corroding my happiness. Giving me a warped view of reality. Im scared to be a single mother. And I don't want my kids to grow up like I did in a split family- that's a whole 'nother sledge of issues.
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