Warning, this is a little vent... I am 12 weeks pregnant and have a 13yr old DS and nearly 2yr old DS. DH and I were happy when I found out I was pregnant again, we'd been trying for a few months. However, for the last 12 months, we've had a few issues on and off, since his dad died and he got involved in alcohol and drugs... he's still having a few drinks which is fine and he hasn't been talking drugs for a few weeks now... since the last time he was seriously embarrassed in front of his close friends. but apparently it's all my fault... and now, he says he's had enough and he's told me it's over. The hard bit is that he's living downstairs in our rumpas room because he wants "to be here for the kids"... he's become nasty and horrible and I don't even recognise him anymore. He's not the man I married. He won't come to any scans and even told me he hopes I lose the baby. This is not like him and even his friends are shocked at some of the things he's said and done. It's like he's going through some type of mid life crisis.. LOL.. I feel so alone. I just want a hug and to have my hubby here sharing this experience with me. I'm scared that I will deliver this baby on my own and then have 3 kids as a single mum. I don't really have anyone else I would want in the delivery room with me. He is spreading rumours about me to friends and family and telling them horrible stuff. some believe it, some don't. but it's killing me. I know i'm hormonal and emotional etc.. but i'm alone and i'm scared. I don't know what to do anymore. my emotions are up and down. and I go from crying hysterically to happy to OK... this is not good for the baby! but I don't know how to stop feeling this way. he goes through days where he's happy and we get along really well, then the other night I asked him if we could spend some time together this weekend to talk and he said he's got no interest in being with me. he's totally over it. he won't go and get help. he already takes anti depressants and the last time he went to the doc for an assessment it was all ok. I just want my hubby back. i'm scared to go through this alone. I know no one can tell me what to do or offer much advise... but I just needed a vent...
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26-03-2014 19:14 #1
Alone and a little scared!
26-03-2014 20:18 #2
No advice here, just sending hugs your way!! Hope it all works ok
26-03-2014 20:21 #3
You poor thing! Do you think he could be lying to you and may still be taking drugs? Such a sudden change in behaviour sounds strange, maybe he's using it to cope with the separation.
I really have no advice, but take care of yourself and take time out to relax.
27-03-2014 11:01 #4
Can I suggest that you talk to your GP? They will be able to steer you in the right direction in regards to getting help for yourself and DH. This situation isn't good for you or baby. It sounds like DH does need help and if he won't go get it, you'll need to do it for him.
You can also get help from Beyond Blue:
1300 22 4636
Big hugs, you are not alone xxxx
27-03-2014 11:09 #5
I want to cry for you!!! I've been through something like this too minus the drugs and alcohol I really really feel your pain and I hope so badly that it gets better and that your hubby wakes up one morning and goes what have I done?!
Here if you ever need to talk.
28-03-2014 06:59 #6
Wow what a lot to deal with, you poor thing! I really feel for you. Maybe you can ask the gp for a referral to a counsellor, if hubby won't go with you, then go alone, at least you can offload in a safe space and maybe put some strategies in place to deal with all this.
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