Self settling and routine for newborn

[loulou21]

I'm a little bit confused
my 4wk old son sleeps well during the day. He sleeps in 4 hour blocks. He has a wakeful time in the morning then goes back to sleep.
Where I'm getting confused is, is teaching your baby to self settle the same thing as a sleep routine?

My midwife told me that he is too young for a routine yet so just to enjoy time with him. My cafhs nurse however, told me I should teach him to self settle so I have been doing so.- well at least I think I am...
I haven't instilled a sleep routine yet, so am I confusing Bubs by teaching him to self settle where there can be a few.tears if there is no routine?

During the day he sleeps well and sometimes I can leave him and he will go to sleep, however, come 6pm-ish it is really hard to put him to bed... During this time I will feed and put him in bed but 10min later he will start crying etc. He stops crying once picked up. He will finally go to sleep around 10.30-11.00pm. I worry cos during this time I know he is tired because he starts to get bags under his eyes the poor boy and it breaks my heart cos I just want him to sleep...
Is it normal for babies of this age to be difficult to put to sleep at this time of evening!?! It's such a long stretch.....

Any advice?

Sent from my C6903 using The Bub Hub mobile app

[em15ma]

As a newborn my lo would cluster feed from 6-11pm before going to bed!

Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

[Busy-Bee]

Hello and congratulations on your bub!

You are now the target for every piece of advice there ever was in regard to parenting! The truth is that all babies are different and just when you think they have them worked out they go and change their routine. At this stage my advice would be to follow bub's cues. Feed when they are hungry, let them sleep when they are tired, cuddle in between. If you're breastfeeding it sounds like you're experiencing the witching hour - a period in late afternoon/evening where nothing seems to settle your baby. Either that or cluster feeding. I would strongly recommend feeding baby to sleep. BM has sleep inducing properties for babies and it's a nice, restful way of getting them to sleep.

Every text book will tell you something different but the fact remains that not a single baby has yet read the text book! I know my babies sure didn't read the text books.

Relax and have confidence. Already you know your baby better than you've known anyone in your life.

Final piece of advice, boobs are great as a cure-all at this age. It usually cures fatigue, hunger, thirst, comfort and aches and pains.

[Yelrebmik]

This is just my experience so I hope that you don't feel that you need to take of my advice.

All the books you read say don't bother starting a routine until 12 weeks - with my bubba I was stressing my self out trying to get her to have a bath and go to sleep by 7. She just didn't want to go to bed and wanted to be with us. The call it the witching hour for a good reason - we had a very grizzly girl from 4-8ish every night. It is really hard as they do get very grizzly.

I hated hearing her cry and couldn't do self settling. Honestly she wasn't really ready until about 4 months when she grizzled for a little and went straight to sleep all by herself. I couldn't believe it I thought she would never fall asleep by herself let alone have a little whinge and be fine.

From my experience it was all about bubba being ready and they will do it all on their own time. At 4 weeks they are really still getting used to the world and just need all the love they can get.

Don't stress yourself out by trying to do whatever the nurses/books say you should be doing. Do whatever feels right for you and your little one. Mum always knows best!

[GlitterFarts]

4 weeks is too young for any routine. he has day & night confused.

[baby4us]

Ditto to everything the busy bee said.

4 weeks is so very young, I wouldn't try teach him anything other than you love him, he is safe with you and he can trust you x

[baby4us]

Someone said to me once "babies don't need to be taught to sleep, they have been doing it for 9months in the womb"

Though when he is old enough, start teaching him how to relax and switch off. Music, soft cuddly toys, massage etc have lots of quiet moments throughout the day.

[Milly Molly Mandy]

Another one here that didn't bother with self setting until about 3 months old. My first bub fell asleep on the boob every time and my second baby NEVER fell asleep on the boob so find what works for your own baby and run with it.
If it's being cuddled in the early days then do that.

When bub is a bit older ( in a few weeks time) and you know the time for sleep is approaching... You will notice a pattern by this stage ( I prefer to call it a patter rather than routine in the newborn stage) then change, feed etc and put bub awake but sleepy in the cot. Some babies go right to sleep others need comforting at intervals, whatever time period you feel comfortable leaving them making noise. You might not feel comfortable with leaving them at all and that's ok too. I walked my second bub to sleep for 7 months. Which I don't recommend hahaha but he was reluctant to cooperate with all this self settling business!

My second bub is now 13 month old and still screams blue murder at sleep times occasionally and other times goes right to sleep. There is no reason I can find why he self settles sometimes and not others.
Follow your instincts and what works some days doesn't work others.
My final tip is RELAX. They can sense tension and it makes everything harder for both of you.
Routine is an evil word with a newborn in my opinion hahaha

[A-Squared]

I think people often get confused by a routine and a schedule.

A schedule is doing things like feeding and putting babies to sleep at set times each and every day.

A routine however is a predictable pattern of activities leading up to each sleep. I would in fact recommend a routine from day dot but I'd follow our baby's cues as to when to start that routine as opposed to the clock.

Eg feed baby, put into a swaddle and or sleeping bag, read a book, sing some songs and cuddle, put on some white noise (I used a radio set to static - it mimics the noises of the womb - at least gives a constant noise and not silence), then put bub down with a comforter with your smell on it) tell bub you love them and put them down to sleep, walk out of the room and see what bub does. If they're clearly distressed pick them up and do what ever it takes to get them to sleep (either rock them, pat them on the bum holding them or rub or pat their belly while they're already laying down, what ever it is you want, but be consistent).

If you follow this same pattern and the settling method you are comfortable with (but always start with leaving them on their own - even if it's just 30 seconds before helping - what ever you're comfortable with - maybe it's 3 minutes?) they will soon learn that after you do through those same actions sleep comes next.

Good luck!