I only want a very small, casual wedding. No big dress, definitely no church, no exchanging of vowels. I even tried to compromise and suggested that we just go to the registry office but he didn't even like that idea. He seems to think that if we get married then our relationship is doomed
I want a ring (not even an expensive one) and I want to be "Mrs -----"
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18-03-2014 15:28 #11Senior Member
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- Nov 2010
18-03-2014 15:44 #12
I can understand not wanting a big or religious wedding. DH and I eloped last year, our only guest was our 17 month DD. It was not religious at all, it was just nice to formally commit to each other. I wanted to change my surname too and have done in some situations. It's a lot of effort too and it's taking time to get round to it.
When I was a kid, I knew a family who were not married, but the women used the man's surname in social circumstances anyway.
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18-03-2014 17:18 #13
If it's any help we got married overseas so my name didn't automatically get changed here so I had to change via deed poll. Very quick and easy, no one had ever asked if were married. It's assumed
18-03-2014 17:32 #14Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2013
Most marriages in Australia are now civil ceremonies, aren't they not?
I wouldn't change my name unless he had enough faith in the relationship for it to be formally recognised.....but everyone has a different view. Sounds like you are compromising on what you actually want. Good luck
18-03-2014 18:01 #15
18-03-2014 18:09 #16-
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
Honestly, I nearly got married, and one of the big reasons was to change my last name to match my kids' and their father.
Right at this point in time, I am glad that didn't eventuate.
I just don't think being married would have changed anything within our relationship, apart from the fact that to get divorced is a lot more complicated than a defacto seperation.
18-03-2014 18:25 #17
Honestly this is only something you can decide, how do you feel deep down about not getting a wedding? Will you feel ripped off so to speak? If the answer is yes then I wouldn't change your name because you may end up being resentful but if you feel 100% like this will be enough for you go for it.
18-03-2014 18:34 #18
I didn't expect being married would feel any different, but it really changed how I felt. All of a sudden, I felt like was part of a team, and that I'd always have someone who had my back. Maybe if your husband thought of it that way, and not as a religious ceremony, it would make more sense to him. Ironically, I chose not to change my name, and now my son has his dad's surname :-)
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