How disgusting. I would tell your family that you, you dh come as a team. either accept him or be prepared to lose you. I would not stand for it as their reasoning is so immature.
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17-03-2014 20:00 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
17-03-2014 20:08 #12
Sounds like your mum is very manipulative :-(
Please don't tell your DH if you can help it, vent in here instead.
It seems that your mum is trying to create drama and she would probably succeed if your DH were to hear what she says?...
Also be careful about the reported feelings from others family members. Chances are she made it up or over exaggerated whatever they said. Maybe they said he's not as funny as some other clown - but that doesn't mean they don't like him.
There are much much more qualities to a person than being funny.
Last edited by ExcuseMyFrench; 17-03-2014 at 20:50.
17-03-2014 20:45 #13
I sounds like your mum is playing mind games to me.
Is it possible to talk to another trusted family member and see what is really going on?
17-03-2014 20:51 #14
Don't tell your husband. You're right, it will crush him.
Knock back your mothers offers, let her know to stop kissing your ***. If she and your family take issue With your husband than they issue with you and your daughter. Stand up for him. Imagine if this was reversed and your husband was hearing this from his family. Your mother isn't respecting you or your choices and until such time she apologises and starts, I'd tell her to bugger off for a while.
Blunt, I do apologise, but that's so not on.
17-03-2014 20:53 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2011
17-03-2014 20:57 #16
I wouldn't tell him.
Id di also give your mum a wide berth for a while to get some perspective and time to reflect on how to not be a $hit stirrer.
She should also apologise to you, it's not ok, it offensive and tell her that in no uncertain terms. Give her a no gossiping with other family members.
How awful for your DH! It can be hard enough being an inlaw let alone being pitted against the "other" more "fun" inlaw.
17-03-2014 21:04 #17
Thanks everyone. Can't really talk with anyone else as they all talk to each other so it will get back to them.
It just makes me so mad that she thinks she can talk about him like that. He is the most beautiful person and she wad 100% correct when she said he was an amazing provider for our family! I just can't see why they can't see it. He is a bit shy at times but that is no reason to talk about him the way they have.
I told her last night we were a package deal and that he was my husband and both he and my daughter come first now...went down about as well as a lead balloon!
I am pleased you have all said not to tell him. It's eating me alive and I'm so pleased I can vent on here. Thanks for listening and algorithm your support!!
Guess we will see how tomorrow night goes! Shall be interesting.
Last edited by Wally90; 17-03-2014 at 21:09.
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17-03-2014 21:06 #18
My father disliked my now husband at first. We'd been together 4 years and were engaged and my dad was drunk and said he wouldn't allow me to marry him (in front of all of my family at a family gathering.) I told him to butt out that it wasn't up to him and that if he wants to be in my life, he needs to accept DH. It was full on and tense but I can happily say that my dad came around and now DH and I have been together for almost 11 years and my Dad gets along with him so well.
As hard as it is I really think you need to stand by your DH 100% and make it clear that her attitude is not acceptable. And I also wouldnt fully believe that everyone has spoken about it behind your back...can you speak to your sister about it?
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17-03-2014 21:26 #19
That's cr*p and it has a name- triangulation. I could understand if your dh was abusive and your mum was trying to bring it to your attention but it doesn't sound like that was the purpose. I wouldn't be able to go to family functions thinking that everyone disliked my partner. I would have to put it out there and ask. At least then you would know whether your mum is stirring or she was saying what your family feels. Don't spend months worrying about her comment- find out for yourself. You then know where you stand and I wouldn't be telling your dh- not for the meantime.
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