Last night our worst nightmare was realized. At 18wks We presented at ed with cramps and bleeding and an ultrasound revealed no fetal movement or hb. I habe been told to go to the women's hospital today for treatment. My question is will they make me go through a normal Labour and delivery or can insist on being put to sleep and having whatever needs to be done in theatre? We have suffered enough without going through more trauma
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16-03-2014 09:48 #1Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2013
No heartbeat 18wks
16-03-2014 09:54 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
I don't know about the delivery but I couldn't read and not post. I am so sorry for you loss *hugs*
16-03-2014 10:02 #3
So sorry to hear. I have gone through this at 19w with a previous pregnancy. Be kind to yourself and take some memories of your beautiful baby - I've since heard there is a group that specialises in coming to the hospital and helping you through this part - hopefully another poster can remember what they are called. I ended up delivering whilst out and haemorraging and was unable to retrieve the baby so I can't help with the delivery part, sorry.
16-03-2014 10:05 #4
I'm so sorry for your loss
In regards to the birth, just think about your choices very hard before choosing. With a natural labour you'll end up with no scar and heal so much faster physically than if you were to have surgery or a c section. And a scar from a c section may hinder emotional healing too. Just a thought... I know mine does.
I wish this wasn't happening to you. If you need to talk please pm me. Hugs x no mother should ever need to say hello and goodbye to their baby at the same time.
Eta- little Ted is right, the group is called Heartfelt.
16-03-2014 10:12 #5
I couldn't read and not post either, I'm so sorry, I wish I had some words that will comfort you but do believe there just isn't any.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your child.
16-03-2014 10:14 #6
I've also sent you an inbox x
16-03-2014 10:25 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2013
I couldn't read & not reply. I am so sorry. Thinking of you & sending big hugs at this time.
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16-03-2014 10:29 #8Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2013
So you don't want to see your baby and say goodbye? I understand, but if you do then you will need to deliver like you would normally. If you chose that route then I highly recommend getting in touch with the heartfelt team who can come and take pictures of your baby. I'm so very sorry this must be excruciating for you both Hugs**
16-03-2014 10:43 #9
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16-03-2014 10:48 #10
Partyof4 I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. My thoughts are with you xx
We lost our little girl at 26w and went through the normal labour process. I do know some ladies that had a loss closer to your gestation, and they also laboured vaginally.
I'm with the others that posted, think hard about your choices... I know if I didn't get to see and hold my baby girl, I would regret that decision for the rest of my life...
Heartfelt are an organization that can take some precious photos for you, from what I've seen they touch up the photos amazingly (we never had this option provided to us and I really wish we did). Another organization that we found amazingly helpful is Pregnancy Loss Australia. The hospital we were at gave us a bag after the birth of our daughter, but if you can, ask for one as soon as you can... There's a resource book that has some questions etc that might come in helpful...
Everyone has their own rights and opinions, but like I said, think very hard about your decision, and talk to your partner/ family...
If you would like any more info on what I've said, please feel free to ask or PM me... It's the most difficult thing I have experienced and I hate the fact that someone else is now going through a loss too...
Thinking of you
Skittle due 07/04/2014
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