It's a hard one. Honestly. .. DH and I are still working this one out.
Prior to having our daughter we both worked full time outside the home and shared all the housework. I always pretty much cooked. But I like cooking.
Now DD is here. . she's 15 months. .. is a bit different. He works very long hours. . gone from 630am til 7 or 8 at night. Sometimes he doesn't even see his daughter. So his argument is that he's tired from commuting etc and his 12 hour days. Which I agree with.
I often comment that at least he gets to leave the office. .. even if he's working from home which he often does on weekends. But I never get to leave my office!!
If your DH is anything like mine then baby steps!! DH well get DD up every morning. . change her nappy and make me a cup of tea while I give her a bottle! If he's home in time at night he does bath time. We have argued about this too... but I find suggesting one thing at a time he could help with is best. Like I've asked him to get DD up etc. Also he does his own ironing etc. He cleans up after dinner. Honestly he could do more.
I think all things are a negotiation.
If your hubby plays sport and gets his time do you also go out and get your time away? If not I'd suggest something that gives you some time out too. Then work on it from there.
Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
+ Reply to Thread
Results 11 to 20 of 48
10-03-2014 12:22 #11
10-03-2014 12:30 #12
While DH does nothing much for DD he does cook most nights, helps with the cleaning and we do groceries together.
10-03-2014 12:33 #13-
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
When I was a full time sahm I did all the housework.....however I still expected him to be an adult and clean up after himself, keep the house tidy and help me when asked.
10-03-2014 12:35 #14
DF cooks dinner a few nights a week and cleans up after dinner when I have cooked some nights. Sometimes he takes too long so I do it.
He cleans the bathroom because he knows I hate it.
He takes out the rubbish when I ask.
He organises the garage when it gets out of control (usually from his stuff).
As far as the kids go he will get one dressed after bath while I do the other and he gets DS1 to sleep while I do DS2.
He does more when I ask him to.
He leaves for work between 4:30-7 depending on where he is working and will get home anytime from 4-6:30 again dependant on where and what he was doing that day. He wakeboards on one afternoon and has soccer training another. Also soccer on Saturday which will start again soon.
I do everything else in terms of the kids and cleaning. I don't mind as long as he is grateful and does try to help when he can.
Sent from my telecommunications device.
10-03-2014 13:11 #15
DH and I have both always worked full time outside of the home. I've always done the majority of the cooking, DH cleans up the kitchen, does his own laundry, takes care of the outside of the house and we've split the rest of the housework fairly evenly too.
Now I'm at home on maternity leave I've taken over doing all the laundry, cleaning up the kitchen (I leave the dinner dishes to the next day) and as much of the housework as I can do comfortably. Once our daughter comes along I will be continuing to do these things and majority of her care because I see that as my "job" whilst I'm on leave from work.
DH will help out wherever I ask him to, but if I'm home all day I don't see why I shouldn't be doing most things around the house? I have time to run my day how I want to, if I'm having a bad day now, or if I end up having a rough night with bub there's the option to leave the housework until tomorrow, or potentially opportunities to have a nap. I respect the fact that DH doesn't have those options or flexibility with the hours he works.
10-03-2014 17:11 #16Junior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2007
thanks for all of your opinions x
10-03-2014 20:00 #17
I think it's helpful to make them responsible for something, instead of giving random jobs that he might not be aware needs doing. Here DH is responsible for all the outdoors stuff yard pool and so on... I sometimes help him out but mostly it's his thing.
He does the kids bath every night and on weekends he does breakfast. Recently he's in charge of DD through the night, she only wakes once or twice for a dummy but sometimes she wakes early in the morning... which I've been hearing about non stop! He woke up at 4;45am today the travesty!!!
I hate if he does anything else because usually it means more work for me... like if he puts on a load of washing he'll pack it so tight that stains don't come off and hang it in a way that I have to iron everything so I actually get cranky when he does...
I would expect him not to make my life harder, like if he makes himself some snack to put things away but it doesn't happen so I gave up.
Mainly its getting a break from the kids that I need and I get it so I'm content.
10-03-2014 20:33 #18
My DP basically does nothing except tale the trash out and occasional dishes. Having said the for the past. 6 weeks he has been doing a lot more while I struggled with our newborn DS but now his returned to work things are back to normal.
“Whether a man knew it or not, he needed a woman at his back: someone to remind him that all is not lost, someone to show him the sliver of light that is creeping its way through the dark, someone to hold him, even when he didn’t realized he needed to be held.”
Excerpt From: Loftis, Quinn. “Sacrifice of Love.” iBooks.
10-03-2014 22:30 #19
Dh works away interstate (flies home alt weekends) so when he is back he vacuums, cleans both bathrooms, mows and does whatever jobs around the house. He also cooks 2 meals for my freezer plus does the majority of the child work.
wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.
10-03-2014 22:38 #20
DF and I have always shared jobs 50/50 ish. If he doesn't feel like cooking - I will, I cook - he cleans etc. There is no set 'this is your job' it's just a matter of these things need to be done so someone does it and if they don't the other will.
No different when I have taken up the role as primary care giver for dd & ds at home. He still contributes to the running of the household and knows full well that my job is not maid or housekeeper, it is caring for the children and working to raise them at home instead of paying for day care.
Essentially - if you worked and paid someone to care for the kids, they wouldn't also do your washing and make dinner. So why is my role any different at home?
If however I find time to put on some washing and get dinner started early then it's a bonus to us all that it is out of the way. But DF wouldn't complain if it wasn't done.. He would just go about doing it himself without hesitation.
I am very lucky that DF is also just as happy to be the care giver at home. So he gets a little taste of the chaos when and if I have appointments or a night out etc. there is nothing like walking in someone else's shoes to find some compassion.
Last edited by MadeWithLove; 10-03-2014 at 22:42.
By Mod-Degrassi in forum General ChatReplies: 27Last Post: 09-02-2014, 20:07
By Cheese Please in forum General ChatReplies: 14Last Post: 24-10-2013, 18:44
By JR03 in forum General ChatReplies: 10Last Post: 17-05-2013, 12:32
Baby SensoryBaby Sensory is the only baby programme that offers a complete approach to learning & development. Our classes offer ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Positive or evap line??Pregnancy Tests & Help / Support with Results
Positive or evap line??Pregnancy Tests & Help / Support with Results
Miracle March TTC and Testing ChatConception & Fertility General Chat
IVF babies due Sep/Oct/Nov 2017pregnancy and babies through IVF
Funniest thing your kid has said to youGeneral Chat
Largest bassinets on market?Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
Chickenpox after being immunised?Pro-Vaccination
Mixed slumber partyGeneral Chat
Primary IVF SydneyConception & Fertility General Chat