I haven't done this but a friend of mine has. She was mid 30's, really wanted a child and didn't want to wait for the right man. She did (I think!) 3 rounds of iui with donor sperm before getting her beautiful daughter!
Me - 30, Dh - 38 ttc #1 since June 2011
natural bfp June 2012 - mc 5.5 weeks; 4 cycles clomid; 1 unsuccessful ivf.
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09-03-2014 18:39 #11
09-03-2014 19:10 #12
I've done it. My sister was 35 and had no eggs left. I was 31 and had my AMH tested and it was low. So basically I could have kids on my own or try and find a guy quick smart who I wanted to have kids with. I didn't want to force myself to fall in love with a guy just to have kids.
Medicare doesn't cover "social infertility" but just tell your FS you had tried with a partner previously for a year and didn't get pregnant so you suspect you have issues. Yes it's a lie but one that saves you thousands. I'm not saying that's what I did or didn't do, just that it can be done and my FS encouraged that response.
How old are you OP? I know many people doing it alone. I have about 300 friends on Facebook and 4 have had a baby this way and one is trying. The one who is trying has been thinking about it for years but has left it till she's 41 and now needs donor eggs from her sister.
Being a parent is hard regardless of relationship status.
- no resentment to anyone else for not helping enough
- never having to share custody if you split
- you create the feeling in the house, no one can bring it down with a grumpy mood
- not having to compromise on your parenting style or consider anyone else's opinions
- no help
- financially you're the solo breadwinner which is a lot of pressure
- logistics of drop off/pick up from school/care. But in all honesty every working mum has that.
I have the two most beautiful girls in the world. I'm lucky I have a well paying job which makes it easy to be a solo parent. I also have family support as I work shift work so they babysit when I'm doing nightshift.
I have not a single regret in the world. My DD2 is 3 months old and asleep on my chest now. I don't find it hard at all to be honest. I'm so happy
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10-03-2014 21:44 #13
I have top hospital & extras cover and have had over 12 months ago (when I started thinking about this and other medical expenses that keep coming up more & more) - so that side of it I think is covered. I forget about costs and what I can claim as I looked at that sort of thing a little while ago.
I had a lot of anxiety late last year over having abnormal cervical cells & the procedure to get that fixed up before it progressed to cancer - it really made me realise that I just won't be happy if I don't become a mum.
I don't like the possibility of the right guy coming along any time soon, or at least one who'll be prepared to settle down and have kids so soon. And I'm not keen on being in the wrong relationship, hence why I'm still single
Well, I'll see how things go - saving for a better car, then to move house and I'll see what happens next (that's at least 6 months away). Permanent foster caring is also something I'm thinking about.
Thanks everyone for sharing!
10-03-2014 22:38 #14
I'm 42 and my beautiful DD is nearly 9 months old and conceived using donor sperm and I am single. Best decision ever. Has it's tricky times being single but totally worth it. She brings so much joy
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11-03-2014 20:35 #15
16-03-2014 10:08 #16
I'm considering this also. I am 34, single and a mum to a 5yo (conceived naturally when I was married in my 20's). I have single parented my daughter since she was 20months old.
I have no family help at all but my daughter's dad is in her life so I do get a break every now and then (he has her 1 night per 14). I work full time and financially we are quite stable.
Yes single parenting is hard, busy, tiring but oh so wonderful at the same time. I am seriously having a ball! So I think I might go for a second using donor sperm. The thought of only having one child is saddening for me.
I have had an ultrasound and AmH testing which apparently is low and Ive been told I really need to have my 2nd child this year or next year - and donor sperm is really my only option.
So don't be scared of the 'single parent hardship' - the joy you get from being a parent far outweighs the fatigue!
16-03-2014 10:38 #17
I am a single mum of 2 (not via IVF) and went through most of my last pregnancy on my own. If I had the choice of waiting for Mr Forever to have babies and risk missing out or IVF I would definitely go the IVF. Having children is the best thing I ever did and single parentsville is tricky but not un-doable.
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