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05-05-2014 15:31 #41
05-05-2014 15:36 #42
14-06-2014 08:55 #43
Can I join?
We have been trying for nearly 12 months to have another and have just stopped trying. We were about to go for iui and I just didn't go and get the blood tests and have kept putting it off. I think maybe it's not really what I want? That it won't make our family happy or complete us to have another child.
So I'm spending the next few months not trying anymore and exploring just having DS which at the moment is feeling pretty good. The only thing I can't shake is him not having a sibling @kw123 could you elaborate on your feelings regarding this? I think it might give me some perspective, I saw your comments earlier in this thread... He is the first grandchild with no cousins on the horizon.
DH is very happy with just one and I'm really warming to the idea for a lot of reasons. In fact my reasons for one I think outweigh my reasons to keep trying. It's nice to read this thread
14-06-2014 09:24 #44
Hugs @babyla - big decision for you.
I think I just don't understand it when people say they will have another child solely so their first child has a sibling. Surely the only reason to have another child is because you and your partner want one?
I don't know any only child who is damaged or suffered because of it. Sure some days might be a bit lonelier for them than those with siblings but there will be benefits they get that kids with siblings don't. More one on one time, probably more disposable income which might mean more travel, experiences, etc.
And I know plenty of people with siblings where that relationship is not really a significant one into adulthood. I love my brother but rarely see or speak to him. And we certainly didn't get on at all growing up.
It's just not a valid reason to me. Have a baby because it's what you want. Not because it's because you think it's what someone else needs, or because it's the "done" thing.
Just my two cents
14-06-2014 09:26 #45
I think its very different for everybody however being an only child myself i didn't want that for my child (i know.its not ways a choice my mum couldn't have more children). i had a very blessed childhood wanting for nothing but in saying that i was very lonely and struggled with friendships as i was desperate to form strong close bonds. I was bullied badly at school and had no real concept of how kids interacted on.different levels my friends had fights with siblings all the time and just 'dealt' with it, i was always extremely hurt by any fall out etc and very over protected by my parents. Every one is different but i desperately want ds to have a sibling.
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14-06-2014 09:28 #46
14-06-2014 09:37 #47
Have you decided on only one? I know it's something you originally were leaning towards earlier on.
Thanks for replying xx
14-06-2014 09:58 #48
To be honest it is likely we will have another at some point I think.
I suffered PTSD/PND which really affected my ability to ever consider going through it again potentially. But now I am recovered I do get the urge for another and can see another in our future. But no final decision yet. I really needed that time to heal (mentally) and having the pressure lifted about having to think of another really helped me with that.
I know it's different for you as the option of having a second has to some extent been taken away (without going through IUI, etc). I have to admit if we had issues conceiving again we would just have the one. We wouldn't do IVF or anything.
There is no one size fits all approach to family! Xx
14-06-2014 10:07 #49
DD is an only child and there are no plans for more. Infact we are thinking about making it a permanent decision.
People say its not fair on DD but we know that as she is an only child we will be able to give her more opportunities then if we had two.
Each to thier own i think, its no one elses business
14-06-2014 10:15 #50
I'd be thrilled to have 1 at this point (18 months ttc no. 1 & about to start IVF). Also, I'm an only child & I'm totally awesome. I am evidence of only children doing well academically too (about to complete my second Masters degree with Ds & HDs).
"...dreaming of a belly full of life..."
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