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04-05-2014 21:20 #21
04-05-2014 21:54 #22
Hi all, I have a DS 4.5yrs . While I did/do want a second I have no issues with just the one. Hubby actually only wanted one and I pushed him to consider a second. Anyway I have had both tubes removed so our only chance is ivf so we may very well just have the one.
Most of my crowd are on to their 3rd!!
I have certainly had lots of negative things said to me about having 'just' one child.. from acquaintances I bump into at the shops telling me I'd better get a move on to have a second and the worst one from my DH's friend that wouldn't accept that we would want one child "no don't do that, that's so cruel"
I could have slapped him!
Is it so cruel that my sons is overwhelming loved, cared for, well adjusted, very social, shares well, heart of gold, has heaps of friends?? What's so cruel about that?
Sorry rant over!!
I love my little family of 3 💙
04-05-2014 22:05 #23
Another over here with just one. I'm a single mumma and young enough (26) to have more, but I just don't think I want any more. DD (almost 3) is perfect and I love the balance our life has. I can take her anywhere and we do heaps of things/experiences together. We are on a budget, but money isn't exactly tight. If I want some 'me' time, it's reasonably easy to ask friends or family to watch my one child.
Happily, none if my friends or family question or give me grief over having one child. Probably because I'm also single.
04-05-2014 22:09 #24
We only have 3.5yo DS, we have been trying for another but I'm now too old. (43) so I've made peace with the fact he will be an only child but yes the comments from mainly strangers ( all my friends and family know about our miscarriage and ttc) annoy me and if one more person tells me only children are selfish and spoilt I'll scream!
04-05-2014 22:26 #25
I have a four year old daughter and mostly likely won't have another. My hubby didn't want any kids so getting him to agree to one was a massive issue. I am 42 now and he's 50 so I can't see him changing his mind now. I realise it is a sacrifice on my part and have friends tell me they would have probably left him over the issue but I have come to terms with it. I can't break up a happy family because he doesn't want another child since I wouldn't have the opportunity on my own anyway!
I'm self employed in the wedding industry so it would be difficult for us to manage another child anyway as I can't just take maternity leave like some other jobs. My hubby has been an amazing dad with me working many weekends and late nights.
A little while back I was very sad over the whole issue and I think that feeling will probably come and go for the rest of my life to be honest. I haven't had a hard time from our families for the most part, probably because we are older parents so people probably figure we are "over it" anyway. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming while we are out about how things would be with another child but that's a bit futile. We are really happy with the three of us so lately I have tried to focus on being really "present" with my daughter.
The only thing I worry about is what would happen if she died as a child. Sounds really morbid but everytime I hear of an awful accident involving a child I wonder how I could live without her. Does anyone else feel this way?
04-05-2014 22:33 #26
I'm an only child with an only child (3.5 year old DS) with no plans to have any more. I've had a few odd comments from people about how I 'have' to have another. I don't 'have' to do anything. DS is perfectly happy on his own and I know from my own experience that life as an only child is pretty great!
04-05-2014 22:39 #27
I have a 14 month old and while we talk about "when we have another baby", we really have no idea when that will be. I'm so content with our little girl right now that I can't imagine bringing a new baby into the mix and disrupting our life as we know it. We've said that we don't want another until our daughter is 3-4 but at this stage I'd be happy to wait until she's 10 to think about another one, or maybe even never think about another!
So hi *waves* from another (currently) one-child mum :-)
04-05-2014 22:46 #28
My DD is 8 in a couple of weeks, and is an only child.
I desperately wanted another, but it wasnt meant to be. It did take me a long time to adjust to the fact that she would be an only child - even though I kind of expected it as we had a lot of trouble conceiving, and DH wasnt keen on IVF.
Anyway - it has been 5 yrs now since we found out I couldnt have more - and I have to say it has been a pretty glorious 5 years. She is absolutely fabulous, and there are definite advantages and wonders about having only 1 child ... especially the sense of freedom that the ease of it all allows.
I am kind of an odd one out in my groups of friends though. Not too many with only 1.
05-05-2014 07:02 #29
DS has just turned 3 and is a only child. I would desperately love another child but it seems unlikely to happen. I'm not comfortable with him being an only child. We have an incredibly small family and I feel he is missing out. He has no cousins, one set of grandparents in the UK, one Aunt/Uncle (who don't want children and are too old anyway) and finally just my Dad. I feel hugely guilty that I can't produce a sibling for him and he may well be all alone without a lot of family.
Looking at the positives, having one child does give us more freedom and we can travel etc more. He is an absolute delight and fills me with joy every day.
05-05-2014 07:10 #30
My dd is nearly 18 months. She's an only child. .. I'm 99% sure this will never change!
I hate people sticking their nose in about having more. ... But DD has a genetic condition that has high odds it could occur again. Usually saying this shuts people up.
It also means that she will get every opportunity we can give her, and because she does have special needs I can give her all the attention she needs.
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