So I am seeing a psychologist because I really, really have an awful lot on my plate ATM. I'm just not coping and decided not to put up with it any longer. So I sought out help. Well, hubby did. He was not coping either, living with someone who was no longer any fun to be around and not knowing what to do or how to help.
Anyways. I cancelled appointment after appointment. (That dh made). I was physically ill thinking about turning up to my first psych appt. I talked myself out of going. This is very typical anxiety behavious of mine. And then, I bit the bullet and realised it is now about the people around me. Not just me anymore.
my psych is a lovely guy. He just listened as I poured my heart out to him....for 2.5hrs. I swore, I got really angry. I cried and I laughed. I went through every emotion. I was basically a mess.
he left me with some things to think about. Like, prioritising time for me. Who am I besides a mum and a wife (or a working mum). What do I like? What am I good at? ....." I have no idea who I am anymore. There is just no time to think about me". Well, that's not good enough. My psych said.
I don't exactly know where this post is going. Just that, I need a babysitter to figure out all this. And day care. Who can afford that on the "Sahm wages?!" With no family or friends to rely on? I so desperately wanted to have my kids home and bring them up while so little and while I had the oportunity. I failed. Miserably. And I am a qualified early childhood educator. Massive fail.
To find who I am again, is going to leave us out of pocket. To study, daycare, babysitting, hobbies. It's all so not worth it. Or is it?
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03-03-2014 13:35 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
Being a Sahm...
03-03-2014 13:58 #2
Sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch
Would it help if you go back to work a day or two a week? It would cover daycare costs and it may help you rediscover yourself outside of your family bubble. I wouldn't go back to childcare at the moment, instead something that has you interacting with more adults.
03-03-2014 14:04 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2012
I am working towards applying for jobs. It's very time consuming and exhausting lugging kids around. I also don't believe it will help me, except financially. I feel I will just become a working mum, hate my job because I'm away from my kids And get into get another ditch.
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