I am 28 weeks pregnant with #3. Previous experience indicates to me that breastfeeding is again going to be really hard for me, and it is now something that I am dreading even trying.
With DD, I think I was damned from the beginning. Reflux baby, minimal professional help, lack of experience. I lasted 2 weeks. 2 weeks of absolute torture I might add!
With DS, I may have done better, I had more resources and knowledge, however he had an infection and was put in special for 2 days, and the bottle fed him. I managed to comp feed him for 3 months, until he completely lost interest!
Anybody care to share stories of it working really well after not being able to BF with your first 1 or 2? A large part of me wants to try, but another part just does not feel like coping with 3 kids and the failure simultaneously.
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25-02-2014 11:01 #1
Looking for positive stories
25-02-2014 11:05 #2
Me me me!
I couldn't feed DS. Looking back now I didn't stand a chance. The pain, the blood, the awful and inconsistent advice from midwives and my own assumptions. O.M.G. I ended up expressing what I could for 3-4 months which I'm really proud of.
I was determined to BF DD, and I did for 18 months! Again it was painful and seriously hard work but I had a plan in place and I stuck to it.
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25-02-2014 11:07 #3
I tried breast feeding DS1... I was not ready for how much it hurt at the start, ended up with cracked blistered bleeding nipples due to bad attachment and have up after 2 days!
DS2 I decided not to even try feeding
DD1 is 3 months and still exclusively breast fed other than a couple bottles of formula here and there (not every day or very often) seriously I went in with full intention to breast feed, more confidence I think a lot due to age and maturity this time round and yep it hurt at the start but I annoyed the hell out of the midwifes so that I made sure each attachment was correct. We got home had a bit of trouble, used nipple sheilds for a couple of days and then weaned off them and I haven't looked back. You can do it and if you can't you haven't failed!! A baby is nurtured as long as it's fed - no matter how that may be breast or bottle
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25-02-2014 12:21 #4
I really do want to give it a go, but at the same time it makes me anxious. I don't want to get all determined to succeed and then be shot down again, but then I don't want to be too blase and end up just giving up without really trying.
Love that you guys gave it a go and succeeded, it gives me a bit of hope!
25-02-2014 13:14 #5
Go in determined to succeed. There's no point going in to anything if you don't want to succeed!
It's hard work, you know my story. I suggest looking at what went awry with DS2 and what you can do differently this time. Also get on websites like kellymom.com and Dr Jack Newman's site to get a really good understanding of the mechanics of how breastfeeding works with particular attention to supply and demand. Bookmark the WHO bf baby weight charts. If you don't want to supplement this time, don't. There's no need for supplements if your bub is gaining sufficient weight. If he's not, try not to give a bottle. Cup feed or use a SNS. Use ebm instead of formula where possible and use a pump to stimulate supply (I have a really good electric one for you ) And then ditch the top ups when you can.
Basically, get yourself a thorough knowledge and back up plan. You have this great resource who knows loads about bf through trial and (plenty of) error and reading and talking to other bf mums and she's totally free of charge and accessible at the most ridiculous of hours (me, in case you were wondering )
The best way to really get bf to work is to just feed and feed and feed. If it's hourly for the first few weeks, so be it. That is normal. Roll with it. Don't buy in to anyone telling you not to feed them that often- it's biologically normal and it's more than just food. It's comfort and security and trust. And it's free!!
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25-02-2014 13:27 #6
Me risfaerie!!! I breastfed my first for 6 weeks of pure hell. I had nipple vasospasms combined with shocking eczema which made feeding so incredibly painful and stressful. I would lie in bed after each feed holding my painful nipples and sobbing. I finally gave myself permission to stop at 6 weeks and things were so much better. I just could not have gone on that way.
Fast forward to bub #2 and all those awful memories taunted me. I tossed up what I should do. I decided to keep a totally open mind and go into it thinking that if this doesn't work I'm not going to kick my own ar$e so badly over it. I had no bottles or formula or anything. Well DS2 turned out to be a champion feeder and I fed him right up until he weaned himself at 15 months. He never had formula or a bottle in his life!
This time I think I'll adopt a similar attitude. My first son is no poorer for only being bf'ed for 6 weeks - he is an incredibly intelligent and articulate 6 year old.
My best piece of advice would be to keep an open mind and to go with the flow. You'll know if it's working or not.
All the best!!!
Me + DH = DS1 (6), DS2 (2) and #3 due September 8th
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25-02-2014 13:37 #7
The whole feed and feed thing freaks me out. Where exactly between feeding and feeding will I be getting a 5 year old to school and entertaining a 2 year old? Agghhh!
Maybe P can just stay home for 6 weeks, hahahah!
25-02-2014 14:14 #8
I was at the ready to switch to bottle feeding at the first sign of trouble with #2. Bottles and formula in the hospital bag and all! After massive supply issues making BFing such hard work I was determined not to put myself through that again.
High dose motilium from day 4 sorted my supply this time but , with PTT undiagnosed until 5 weeks, if anything we struggled more. But my attitude was different this time. I just took it one feed at a time. I think every 3am feed I'd be cursing "this is it!! I'm done" but then we'd both get 2hrs sleep and I'd be too stuffed to get a bottle so back on the boob he'd go!
I mixed fed DD for 8 months and at the time I felt like such a failure. Then aafter some time I realised I had actually been a success. The only person defining my feeding experience as a failure was me. I have no shame in mixed feeding this time, it suits me wonderfully and has meant that 8 months on I'm still breastfeeding with no plans to stop in any hurry.
Celebrate the success you have had, you may not have BFed for as long as you'd liked, but you did breastfeed! That is a success in itself! If you feed for one day/week/month/year this time, celebrate your efforts! There's no set time period that automatically shifts you from failure into success.
Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app
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25-02-2014 15:16 #9
25-02-2014 21:02 #10
I bf my first baby ds for 11 weeks with a nipple shield he was thriving but was a massive happy chucker. My mhcn and everyone around me said he had to get off the shield and the problem would be solved so I weaned him to formula and then it was worse. I tried to bring my milk back but it was too late.
With my second a dd we breast fed beautifully for the first few days, then my nipples started to crack, started using a shield again, then developed blocked ducts and mastitis. I pumped for a few days to give my nipples a break an then put her back to my breasts with the shields. I contacted a breast centre and found out they do 4weeks of one on one breast feeding help for free it was the best thing I ever did. They picked up her tongue tie and I had it snipped at 5 weeks only after then did my nipples heal. We are still feeding now at 11 months with the shield. Take any support you can I would also email the Aba with any concerns they were great also you don't even have to be a member. It was hard in the first few months to have time for anything else but its really over so quickly good luck.
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