Thats a very long time for a baby to cry...I dont know how anyone could leave their bub for that long...
I will admit, although I dont do cc I have left my DS3 to cry in his room before. Ive been trying to settle him with cuddles, laying with him etc and he just wouldnt go to sleep. I was at the end of my tether and getting cranky at him which didnt help either of us. I walked out for 5 minutes, sat on the couch and calmed myself down then went back in and cuddled him in a much less stressed state... And I felt absolutely terrible after he was asleep.
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25-02-2014 07:24 #21
25-02-2014 07:24 #22
Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?
Edit: Baby also cries whilst trying to get her to sleep (cuddled/rocked). And no, I can't distinguish the cries yet but eliminate all possible issues - hungry, wet, gas etc.
Last edited by JungleMum; 25-02-2014 at 07:40.
25-02-2014 07:35 #23
Eg... If she's crying at night I might leave her for about 5 minutes to see if she's stops. If not I would try to settle her. Once she's calm leave. She might cry again etc. Sometimes she's crying while I'm trying to calm her!!
She's cried in the car or while I had to get her food or bottle etc. It's the prolonged crying I personally can't do.
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25-02-2014 07:45 #24
25-02-2014 07:49 #25
DS2 hates the car, so yes, he will cry in the car and there is little I can do about it. When he was very young I would limit car trips, because he would get distressed very quickly and he was so tiny that I felt it could be harmful for him. Now he is older he's gotten much better in the car. Also having 2, it can be hard to meet everyone's needs at once - so yes, there are times when DS2 has woken and will be crying for a few minutes while I'm dealing with DS1.
I try to implement 'no cry' sleep solutions, but it doesn't mean my babies never cry, I just can't leave them to cry alone to go to sleep or leave them cry for prolonged periods when it's avoidable. I particularly try to avoid them crying when they are very little (like under 4 months). I respond as quickly as possible because when they are little mine have no distinguishable cries - all cries are 'I need something NOWWWWWW!'. Once they get a bit older there are more whingy cries/ tired cries/ upset or hurt cries.
Last edited by decemberbubba; 25-02-2014 at 07:56.
25-02-2014 08:04 #26
Over one, and closer now he is two I do let him have his tantrums sometimes. He wants to be cuddled constantly, I will stop what i am doing and give him a cuddle but if he keeps going after a cuddle I tell him mummy is busy, I'll just get this done and we can have a cuddle on the couch. Sometimes he stops but sometimes he keeps going and I cant stop getting ready for work, or getting the bigger boys ready for school so he just has to have his cry.
ETA: I do think leaving a baby alone in a room to cry to sleep is a lot different to a baby crying who you are comfortin, talking to and understanding their crying. I think age is a big factor too. I wouldnt leave my 4 or 5 year old to cry on their own in their room either.
25-02-2014 08:19 #27
I was forced to cio with my first.
(Young and living with mil. Not with partner.)
He it's now the hardest to get to sleep. He is so clingy during the day and he is 6.
Now I'm more independent and can stand up for myself Ds2 it's never left to cry for longer than it takes me to get to him. So even if I just got in the bath, (last night) out I get.
But I just can't do it.
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25-02-2014 08:40 #28
I tried CIO with DD once. I agreed with DH that I would leave her for 5 mins and see how it went. I lasted 3 mins. 60 mins and sobbing in their sleep? OMG. That is freaking heartbreaking, that poor bub.
When my babies were older and generally sleeping through, from about 6 months onward, I would leave them for about 5 mins if they woke in the night to see if they would self settle. Most of the time it was because their dummy had popped out and both would be asleep within 2 mins. Never longer though! And never hysterical!
I have no drama with people leaving their kids to self settle at all. I agree though OP, I would have an issue with leaving a child for that long, and I certainly have an issue with other people encouraging and supporting such extreme behaviour.
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25-02-2014 08:41 #29
25-02-2014 08:55 #30Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
But i just put things off if she's unsettled, like showering, lunch etc or if it's something that is easily done when wearing her, I pop her in the ergo. But if don't leave her to cry, as soon as she starts I pick her up and she stops pretty much instantly every time.
ETA - bubs crying in your arms is different. They know you're there and are doing everything you can to comfort them.
Last edited by Anjalee; 25-02-2014 at 08:57.
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