We have a similar situation, my parents live 12 hours away. MIL lives 5 minutes away. She comes over for dinner once a week but I would never call her up and ask her for help unless there was some kind of emergency, it just would not occur to me. DH does though, I work weekends and if he has something he needs to do that the kids should not really be around for (he had to do some welding on the weekend) he will not hesitate to drop them off at her house. If my parents lived close I would absolutely do the same, I just don't feel comfortable asking MIL.
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17-02-2014 20:08 #11
17-02-2014 20:44 #12
As with some PPs, my parents are thrilled when they get to look after my daughter, eg last week I was on my way to do groceries and could smell that my daughter had done a poo. I had to drive past mum and dads to get to the supermarket so stopped in there to change her nappy, rather than doing it in the yucky parents room at my shopping centre. Dad quickly offered to look after her while I did my groceries. Whereas with my ILs, I would feel like the biggest inconvenience in the world if I asked them to have her for an hour while I did groceries, they would never volunteer. They've looked after her in the past but I always feel guilty for "ruining" their day or night whereas my parents treat looking after her as an opportunity to spend time with her rather than a chore.
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17-02-2014 21:15 #13
I guess I do in some ways. I am pretty lucky with my ILs - we've had issues in the past but things are pretty good now. I have no issue asking MIL to look after DD if needed, but given they live an hour away it's not something I do at the last minute or too often. DD spends a night out there every couple of months and loves it. My SILs always make a point of being there when DD is visiting so they can play with her.
My parents live almost 3hrs away but I try to ask them to help out too, again with plenty of notice. They tend to get a bit upset if they think DD is spending heaps of time with DHs family and they're missing out. It's hard to balance sometimes! My mum is also a little more critical of my parenting which bugs me so sometimes it's easier to ask MIL.
Besides the kids thing, I'm definitely closer to my parents than my ILs.
17-02-2014 22:53 #14-
- Join Date
- Nov 2013
I get along better with my parents-in-law than I do with my own dad (mum died when I was a child). Dh and I see his parents almost every day as they only live 5 minutes away. I see my dad only a few times a year.
17-02-2014 23:00 #15
I love my MIL and adored my FILL. Unfortunately he died 6 months ago. BUT....there is no way I could live near them. We used to...pre baby...and she drove me mad then! Now we're in Oz and she is back in the UK and she still manages to grrrrr me! Don't want to talk about how it is when she visits!!!
18-02-2014 12:01 #16
Nope not at all...although if I am struggling DH will ask them for help for me. My parents both stilll work full time and they dont. Though it is very limited help...my parents can look after three boys easily where as I wouldnt be comfortable leaving the three with the IL's.
18-02-2014 12:11 #17Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2013
If my dps dad was a decent guy I would. I wouldn't trust him with my kids so no I dont. If my family treated me the way he did I would treat them the same. I treat people the way they deserve to be treated. "fil" treatd me like a piece of sh*t so I treat him that way.
18-02-2014 12:17 #18
When I was 36 weeks pregnant with my 2nd I asked my mil for help instead of my parents, I needed them to stay over night they stayed for over a week as I had my baby 4 days later, my mum hates not sleeping in her bed! Was so good knowing dd1 was taken care of and hubby was with me!
18-02-2014 13:17 #19Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2012
No. I ask them equally to help when they are here. My in laws live interstate and my parents live 6hrs away so they love spending as much time with our bub as possible. I told them both early our baby our rules. The last time either had a lil one was 25yrs ago and a lot has changed!
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