In business ( well mine anyway!) absolutely true, in my personal life I am like OP and very confident and thankfully have never been in any abusive relationships but yes when emotions/moods/ hormones are involved its a very general statement that does not apply to everyone and easier said than done
+ Reply to Thread
Results 21 to 30 of 47
16-02-2014 11:20 #21
16-02-2014 11:30 #22
It's a complex subject, which is why I started the thread.
16-02-2014 11:33 #23
The Following User Says Thank You to Ellewood For This Useful Post:
16-02-2014 11:36 #24
16-02-2014 11:52 #25
Having grown up in abusive household I think yes and no. Generally speaking relationships don't start off imbalanced but it creeps up over time. Often, like in my dad's case there are reasons/excuses that seem reasonable at the time to those within the relationship. His personality really changed after a near death experience, my mum had committed ti him through sickness and in health, prior to this there was imbalance - but generally the good far outweighed the bad. As it was a slow process it gets to the point where standing up for yourself puts you in immediate danger. You've been worn down over years, you feel worthless and like you should just accept what you have. I believe if she'd stood up to him sooner the only result would have been her being severely beaten and leaving sooner than it did happen. I don't believe her standing up to him earlier could have at any point resulted in a happy balanced relationship because he's a NPD a hole. It really helps no one to make a comment like the OP's statement in these scenarios.
I have tried to apply it to how I live my life and yet I still found myself putting up with cr.ap from Mr. Wrong for way too long. Not abuse but definite attempts at gaslighting. Was it because I had such poor relationship role models? Was there more I could have done early on? Again the OP's statement essentially places blame on me for the situation and negates the fact that my XH had major issues of his own.
I think it's a good mantra though when dealing with smaller issues like a work colleague undermining you in meetings or a one-sided friendship.
Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app
16-02-2014 11:57 #26
Sorry, double post!
Last edited by Stretched; 16-02-2014 at 12:05.
16-02-2014 11:59 #27
I stayed with my awful ex husband for far too long because I was too stubborn to give up what I wanted (my family in tact) not because he had power over me mentally.
I've always had someone to turn to as well so it makes it hard for me to understand how some people can't leave.
However I've had people not close to me walk all over me and I find it hard to stand up when I'm not familiar with that person or how they may react. Not so much now I guess but definitely when I was younger.
16-02-2014 12:02 #28
Then she updates saying everything is good again (honeymoon period anyone?) and how she resents how rude everyone has been to her DH, who is really just misunderstood and people need to mind their own business. 2/3/6 weeks later, the same member has started another thread, again including some pretty shocking treatment at the hands of her husband and asking for advice. Rinse and repeat.
It can be really frustrating, particularly when they swing from bagging him out and asking for advice, to then getting angry with everyone once things have cooled. Of course it's part of the cycle of violence. But members are human just like the OP is.
16-02-2014 12:23 #29-
- Join Date
- Feb 2013
Last edited by ozeymumof5; 16-02-2014 at 17:05.
16-02-2014 12:30 #30
But that's a snapshot into the head of an abused woman.
I remember the honeymoon period well, these guys are not always pricks unfortunately, and they reel you back in with how you really wish it was, it's denial denial denial and deep down inside she feels weak and less for not leaving, which is why they come out swinging to the ladies that are just trying to help. Easier to lash out out them than him.
I understand the frustration though, it's a tough one.
By Mod-Degrassi in forum General ChatReplies: 90Last Post: 04-11-2013, 22:35
By Mod-Degrassi in forum General Child Health IssuesReplies: 6Last Post: 29-09-2013, 13:10
By Kriselby in forum Weaning & Starting solidsReplies: 3Last Post: 29-03-2013, 07:58
Heinz Baby BasicsOur BPA Free range offers you a choice for every stage of your baby’s feeding development. You’ll love our ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
Miracle March TTC and Testing ChatConception & Fertility General Chat
Implantation sickness?Conception & Fertility General Chat
Tell me about your high school reunion/s!General Chat
Food supplements for kidsGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Am I the only thread killer??General Chat
TTC later in the yearConception & Fertility General Chat
Seeking advice on more kidsGeneral Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat