IVF Babies Due Apr/May/Jun 2014 #4

[Arlais]

Beautiful card Jay. Unfortunately we don't have that luxury of being naive about pregnancy, we're just too well informed about all the things that could go wrong during this process. Actually it's one of the reasons I'm leaning towards not doing this again - I don't know if I could handle another year of this stress!

I think your sister's attitude sucks quite frankly. Just because your niece is very young doesn't mean she doesn't need to be aware of the same things you do. There might be a few more risks being an "older" mum, but there's really not that much difference. In some ways I get the opposite attitude from my sis. She seems to think she's the primary authority on pregnancy and motherhood because she has 4 kids, and thinks I've been far too wary throughout this pregnancy. Just because her kids have turned out "fine" she's ridiculed my choices to stay away from sick people, stick to the safe food guidelines and haven't touched a drop of alcohol. I can tell she's going to **** me off even more when it comes to our parenting style and choices.

[Arlais]

KJ I've found having a glass of cold milk works wonders for my heartburn. That or some yummy thick Greek yoghurt! The indigestion medications usually make me gag so it's a good alternative.

After saying I was going to wait to buy a breast pump, today I ended up finding a miomee electric breast pump at a pharmacy close to home for $149.95. I'd seen the same one a couple of days ago in Big W for $178, so I knew it had to be a good price. I figure if I keep it in the packaging and end up not being able to express for whatever reason, I could always sell it :-)

Sent from my HTC One X using The Bub Hub mobile app

[Annerley]

KJ- I had really bad heartburn last month and took gaviscon dual action, it did the trick for me so I'm keeping the rest ready to go in the fridge in case I need more. I got the liquid one and didn't find it bad at all...I know it hasn't worked for others or made them feel sick so good luck!

Jay- not to worry about sharing sad stories. Whilst I've always been grateful for this pregnancy, hearing what others have been through does make me feel even more so too. Very frustrating about your sister as well! When I had a sore back recently, my grandmother offered me something to take for it but I wouldn't take it so she mentioned to my mum how it seemed a little over the top and commented on how I wouldn't eat a soft serve icecream either. Luckily my mum stepped in and said how I know what I'm doing and back in her day, they didn't know smoking caused cancer so things change. I understand how it harder for my grandma to understand though given she last gave birth over 50years ago. I also find that some friends of mine who are pregnant (planned but natural) don't seem to get as excited over scans or they didn't seem to worry during the first 12wks at all and are much more relaxed about it. I haven't been too anxious, etc but a little emotion would be nice. I often wonder if it's because they think if something was to happen they could just jump back into bed and try again.

I know this is a question that may be way off in some of your minds but just given what Arlais said about doing this all again, has anyone given any thought about what the future holds for their family once they have this bub? Would just be interested to know if anyone is planning more Ivf/FET in the future or whether they are done. At this stage, DH and I plan to do a FET cycle in a couple of years and see how we go (we would love two children but most we think we'd want is 3) but if none of our frosties take then I don't think we'll do another cycle and just have our one baby unless we have a natural miracle. I've also been thinking about what to do with the left over frosties but I guess I'll cross that bridge if/when it comes to that as I believe my clinic doesn't allow them to be donated to others.

[Octoberbaby2010]

Annerley, this will be our 2nd IVF baby and we will be done. We always wanted 2 children but guven how hard it was to get DS, at the time, I said if I was only ever blessed with 1, I was ok with that. We were 36 at the time and no frosties. (I only ever had 1 frostie in 8 stims). DH really struggled with IVF and I didn't know how he'd be once bub was here. The first few months were harder than I had imagined but I was so in love with DS. I was happy with what we had but really didn't want him to be an only child. When he was 9 months, we decided we'd do 3 more stims and then call it quits. If it didn't work we'd be ok that we tried. Unfortunately, things had changed with me and we got very low numbers and very poor quality embryos. We went a 'last ditch' extra cycle and I got pg and miscarried. I took it as a sign not to give up, switched clinics, found and treated my adeninmyosis and here we are. Once you get back on the IVF train, it's hard to get off again! This baby is due just before my 40th birthday. It's been stressful with the high risk for Down Syndrome etc. Even if I wanted another, I just couldn't deal with the stress. I read all these awful stories about people losing their babies and feel so blessed. I'm still worried about bub's safe and healthy delivery and just can't wait for the next 6 weeks to pass. Sorry for long post!

[Riss78]

Jay- you are a lovely friend and that card is beautiful. I am sure she will appreciate it. I know I did.
Unfortunately sad stories like that are a horrible part of life that is often unspoken about. I wish I could be naive like I once was and be carefree and positive and didn't know what could go wrong but it happened to me and through that experience I have met other women who have been through similar or worse. All I know is how special and blessed it is to take home a healthy baby- then a whole other world of worry starts.

Annerley- that's a good question about future cycles. After so many years of dud cycles We had an amazing cycle last round and have 5 blasts on ice. We ultimately would love 2 children or more but we just have to see what happens. As I'm 35 already I would want to try again once this bub is 1 year old.
If we ever had any that we would not use we have already signed forms to donate to medical research. We spoke about donating if we could but due to our age we are not eligible.

[Jay11]

Thanks ladies.

Would we try again after this bub?
We are a Yes. We have 4 frosties so will used them.

Would we do another fresh cycle? At this stage we are a No as it might be a bit too stressful especially with a young one to look after.
For us getting the good embryos seemed to be our problem.
But that being said this low stim cycle without PGD gave us a much better result then normal dose cycles and any tempering like PGD seemed to adversely effect their growth. But whether we just got lucky or that was our issue who knows.

When would you start trying again? I've read the mums body is at its prime between 12-18months after birth. So we'd try again when Junior 1yrs old.

[Arlais]

I pictured myself having 2 or 3 kids - never thinking I'd end up with an older husband with kids already and a vasectomy to deal with.

DH is very happy about this baby and totally in love with his little girl already, but with his boys at 19 & 17 he's satisfied with just one younger one.

Finances play a big part in our choice too. I want to be able to go back to work, we want to do more travel (with bub in tow), we've just taken on a 30yr mortgage and we want to send this bub to a private school. This is all very achievable with one small child, but much harder with 2 little ones and 2 big ones.

We got very lucky with getting pregnant on our first IVF cycle, but we don't have any frosties, otherwise I might be tempted to try again. Particularly with my immune issues I really don't think I want to do another stim cycle, especially when there's no guarantee it would work again first time.

I have almost come to terms with having only one child of my own, but have asked DH to give ourselves until bub is a year old to make the final decision. If we agree then that's it then he will get another vasectomy done so we don't end up with any surprises.

[Octoberbaby2010]

In terms of trying again, we were told we had to completely have finished with breastfeeding for at least a minth or so before starting with drugs again. I very reluctantly gave up when DS was 10 months (i think i was only doing one feed by then, but still found it hard to stop). That allowed us to cycle again just before his first birthday. Bf can interfere with your periods too. I had to be all checked out that everything had returned to normal before cycling again. Just something to keep in mind.

[KJ35]

We have decided at this stage not to have anymore after losing 3 pregnancies and me finding it very difficult on the IVF drugs I just want to beable to enjoy our 1 little miracle but never say never I always imagined myself having 3 children but now I feel very lucky to have got one., we have no frosties either only ever had one out 4 sum cycles if we did have some frosties on ice then I would definatley use then.....I have found this pregnancy very stressful too because we lost the twin I have had major anxiety and don't if icould deal with that again I still have not been able to grieve for our lost twin because I feel guilty that I'm been selfish because we are still pregnant with one and that's what we went in for.

I've had the look from a certain friend who dosent have children rolling their eyes because I won't eat certain foods or do things and she thinks I am going over board but I don't think they understand it's taken us so long to get to this stage I would never want to put it at risk and if that means following the rules step by step then I will do

[Veritas]

We have one frostie left and will use it, although we aren't fussed either way. Bonus if it works, if it doesn't so be it. We wouldn't go through anymore IVF with all the financial, physical and emotional stress it involves. I'd be totally happy with dd and bub, we too want to travel more with the kids, have this house become our investment and move ahead.

It's amazing the different views you get, and how people can be so adamant theirs is the only way and they should make sure you know it. We all make the decisions we think are best, and unless they are completely reckless that should be good enough.

We are very aware of how lucky we are, having lost a nephew at 28 days old due to some medical negligence at birth. We won't stop worrying until bub is in our arms, well that's a fib you never stop worrying!!!

Dp is away this weekend so doing a little sorting and tidying. Might try and finish the cot painting this arvo and cut out some fabric for the cot blanket too.