I would be upset as well, we had a family cruise a few years back and it was lovely but just wouldn't be the same if someone had to miss out, especially over those reasons which are totally justified.
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13-02-2014 16:23 #11
13-02-2014 16:31 #12
13-02-2014 16:50 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
Maybe our family know you won't go, but they don't really understand how deep your feelings are about it. I'm sure they're not being deliberately nasty, but perhaps a bit insensitive. LIke you, I would feel hurt, but as a casual observer on the internet, I can see that feeling upset probably isn't going to help the holiday situation or your relationship with your family (which seems otherwise good or you wouldn't want to go on holidays together ).
Have you tried suggesting an alternative so that you can all go together? There are lots of nice islands near Australia, and even lots of nice places within Australia?
Last edited by Cdro; 13-02-2014 at 16:52.
13-02-2014 16:53 #14
This is a tricky one but to be honest Bali offers a lot in terms of value for money, great accommodation, etc that isn't found many other places which is why so many Aussies go back year after year.
I've never been but the good, cheap nannies and the villa style accommodation are what many of my friends explain as the reason why ONLY Bali will do.
For that reason I can sort of understand why changing the location isn't an option. Especially as someone else is footing the bill. It's likely that somewhere else comparable isn't affordable.
Very unfortunate for you guys given what happened to his BIL and can understand him not wanting to go. But I don't think I would be angry about it. You can't really be angry at something that's offered as a gift, if you know what I mean? Just another view anyway.
Oh I just remembered that my stepdad offered to take us all to the Florida theme parks this year! My step-siblings and all their kids and my mum and step-dad are all there now. Not our cup of tea so we declined. They absolutely knew it wasn't our cup of tea but I would never have expected them to choose elsewhere as that's what the majority wanted.
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13-02-2014 17:16 #15
Yes I agree it's a bit insensitive. I think you need to explain again why you have to decline and suggest that next family holiday you all have a say in where to go. There are other affordable and family friendly places to stay in the world.
13-02-2014 17:48 #16
I wouldn't mind so much if it was a one off thing but I think it's going to be one of those things that becomes sort of tradition, you know every few years.
I've mentioned maybe going somewhere else and parents could cover portion of air tickets or accom if they really wanted to or we could all cover our own costs.
It wasn't really met with much enthusiasm.
As I said we live in WA. So we've got rotto, down south, up north.
My parents even have a house in Broome!
Honestly, my parents are just really different from DH and I. They love the relaxing, cocktails kind of holidays (don't get me wrong, I do too) and spend their weekends/days biking around the river and drinking coffees.
Whereas hubby and I love the country and dirt biking and camping and fishing and 4wd. You know?
Argh I don't know. I'm just over defending DH to them because they just make it out like he is holding me back and not letting me go which is ridiculous.
He's never really felt accepted by my Dad.
Dad is the kind if person who wants to have a say in his kids relationships and play his part and well sort of "meddle" but DH hasn't really let him do that to ours and I think dad has always resented him for it.
I'm getting totally off topic here lol
DH, Me and our two boys.
#3 due 30th Sept
13-02-2014 17:49 #17
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13-02-2014 17:59 #18
I think it's a lovely gesture of your parents and I also understand why you decline the invite but I don't think they should have to change holiday location..
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13-02-2014 18:01 #19-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
I would be extra blunt if it were my parents. "As mentioned before... Your offer to pay for us to come on a holiday is very generous. However I have decided not to take my family to Bali because of what DH went through losing his brother in law. This is not going to change. I am happy to pay my way to go to another destination, if you aren't able to do that, that's ok."
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13-02-2014 18:07 #20
What Vic has said. A one off, no more conversations about the fact as a family you will never be going to Bali. End of discussion, never ask us again, we will however discuss other holiday destinations.
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By Luminary in forum Issues with Family MembersReplies: 7Last Post: 26-12-2013, 10:43
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