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  1. #1
    lexim's Avatar
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    Default Family paying for holiday and we don't want to go. Thoughts?

    Hi ladies.

    My Dad has offered to pay for me and my brothers/sisters and our partners and children to go to Bali.

    DH and I don't want to go. Reasons:
    1 - DHs brother in law (from first marriage) died over there during the Bali bombings. And it's put him off ever since. Totally understandable.
    2 - I'm pregnant.

    It's more so the first reason than the second as I feel I could keep myself "healthy" whilst over there, been many times and never been sick but of course the risk is high and I would never forgive myself.

    Now my dad knows about DHs feelings about Bali, they have taken the family there before and we haven't been.
    I'm just a little upset that the same place has been offered again even though they would have known we wouldn't be going.

    I'm not being spoilt, I don't expect a different holiday in return but i know this is something they will do every few years and we will always decline. Am I being unreasonable in wondering if a different destination could be offered?

    It's more so that whenever we decline my family will always pipe up and say "well you and the kids can come and DH can stay at home"

    I would never dream of going without DH, he is my family and I wouldn't want to go without him. Not to mention the amount of anxiety that would put him through, knowing we are there. He would worry to much.

    I just wish they would lay off and accept that we will never go to Bali.

    I am just having a little rant more than anything but I just wanted to know how others would feel?

    I totally get that it is 100% our choice in not going and the others shouldn't miss out given our fears but I just thought maybe they could do something with us at a different time? Or maybe see if we could all agree on a place to go?

    I guess I just feel a little left out.





    DH, Me and our two boys.
    #3 due 30th Sept

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    Ohhh that's really unfair. I would feel left out too, especially since this is not the first time.

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    DH and I were discussing just the other night that it's not on our list of places we'd like to holiday to either.

    I wonder if it is because they have found a great place to stay and enjoy the activities there or if it is coming down to it being cheaper to go there than somewhere else.

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    I would be upset, specially because of the reason and the fact he knows.

    i wouldn't go without my dh either.

  5. #5
    lexim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Ted View Post
    DH and I were discussing just the other night that it's not on our list of places we'd like to holiday to either.

    I wonder if it is because they have found a great place to stay and enjoy the activities there or if it is coming down to it being cheaper to go there than somewhere else.
    My parents are Bali obsessed, they go all the time.


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    #3 due 30th Sept

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    how very insensitive. I'd be stating very firmly and tell them to not ask you again. I can't imagine how your dh would feel, I think it's really rude of them to be honest to insist.

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    Yes I'm sorry but it sounds very insensitive to me too. I would feel very left out as well. I would also tell them not to ask again also. Surely just once they could choose another holiday destination for everybody, because I'm sure the point would be having everybody together??

    I know so many Bali obsessed people, I loathe humidity so it's never been my dream holiday lol.

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    Aren't they bored with it?
    But seriously they could alternate every other year with somewhere like Fiji or Vanuatu which are prettier and a bit safer right?

    I think they are unfair too.

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    lexim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mokeybear View Post
    Yes I'm sorry but it sounds very insensitive to me too. I would feel very left out as well. I would also tell them not to ask again also. Surely just once they could choose another holiday destination for everybody, because I'm sure the point would be having everybody together??

    I know so many Bali obsessed people, I loathe humidity so it's never been my dream holiday lol.
    Yes I thought the point would be together but apparently not.

    Yes I have no interest in going to Bali anymore either. I would have liked DH to go once and maybe visit the bomb site or the tribute to the victims but he just can't and I understand.

    He still rings his ex-wife's mum every year on the anniversary to say he's thinking of them.


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    #3 due 30th Sept

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    why don't you suggest a cruise where its all included and there are some that go to Bali and you and hubby could stay on board for the day whilst in Bali, that way you have a holiday and they go to Bali? just a suggestion... cruising is so easy

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