Is using this sentence 'is that ok with you/ if that's ok with you' just a polite way of telling someone something or is it asking for permission/ giving the recipient an option.
If I say I will be there at 10, if that's ok with you? Am I really strictly giving an option to the point where this could lead to a communication break down if my intention was to tell them im coming at 10. From a social perspective
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11-02-2014 22:09 #1
'is that ok with you' what does it mean?
11-02-2014 22:16 #2Senior Member
- Join Date
- Oct 2011
I think it expresses your preference, and also gives the other person the option to change it. However, if the other person knows that is your preference, they will know you don't really want to change it. So they will probably only suggest an alternative if your proposal was inconvenient to them somehow (in which case they would have changed regardless of what you said).
I think it's polite to say "if it's ok with you" - I say it a lot.
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11-02-2014 22:18 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2010
I agree its giving an option but secretly wanting them to agree with what you said
11-02-2014 22:18 #4
I really only use "if it's okay with you" when I know it will be. I'm being polite and acknowledging that I'm slightly altering a plan. I'm giving them out but I wouldn't use if I suspected it would cause a real issue.
11-02-2014 22:21 #5
I generally say 'is that going to work with you?' Giving the recipient an option it offer a different time.
I used to work with someone in a med centre who would say 'now the doctor's charged a long consultation today which is '$x '… is that ok?'
One day I said to her ( as her supervisor) 'what will you do if one day someone says NO! That's NOT ok!!
Well - it's not really up to them. Why give them the illusion that they have a choice when they really don't?!
If I'm going to be somewhere at 10, I'll say so.
11-02-2014 22:23 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
if i say it...i really want to know if it is ok.
For example, i am arraning a play date with a gf I have not seen for years on Friday. Easiest thing for me is to have it here but we had also mentioned a cafe. So, when confirming i said ..."would love to have you over here if that is OK with you"...if she had said "i had my heart set on a cafe brekky" i would have happily gone there.
i think it sets a clear preference...but let's them know if they have a strong preferred pref then they should speak up
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